How to Get Banned From K-Mart

Submitted by: malozorro 10 years ago in Funny

What a guy did to get himself, his wife, and his family banned from K-Mart.
There are 155 comments:
Male 1,485
that guy ownes
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Female 116
it`s fake.....but SOOOO Friggin funny.
It`s my inspiration!! I shall do this in WAl-Mart
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Male 2,076
Fake
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Male 499
Brb, going to K-Mart .

:P

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Female 667
I really want to try some of these
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Female 307
I don`t like K-Fart
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Female 150
Hilarious!
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Male 1,079
They wrote "the in" when it should be "them in". Still formal, is it?

AH HA!

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Female 360
FAAAAAAAAAKE
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Male 123
Someone actually pulled the Pick Me! thing on me.
I stuck my head through the clothes and looked at the guy, he was older then me...
...and happened to be my friend. He bet me 20 bucks I wouldn`t do the last one on the list, the toilet paper one.

I spent the 20 bucks on candy and antidepressants from the gun section, if that tells you anything.

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Male 153
If it`s so " reeel" they should spell "corictle".
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Male 153
It`s a dumb prank.
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Male 153
itz fake. Those things just don`t seem "punishable/ possible". The adress [of the K-mart] probally does not exist. LAMO!
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Male 184
spelling/grammar errors at Sep. 15, Oct. 4, and dec. 18. that hinted at the fakeness
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Female 263
But I dont wanna be banned :(
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Female 108
haha! thanks iab
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Male 155
Very amusing.
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Female 85
obviously fake but i still got a laugh out of it.
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Female 224
heh heh heh heh heh
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Male 543
I would love this guy.
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Female 1,407
If it were real, I`d been really amused. Yet one can`t help but smile at that list. BTW, what`s a Code 3,please?
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Female 19
They don`t even know how to write a letter properly
sheesh
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Female 354
see if this was real theyd learn how to spell
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Female 105
omg i just read the name and my friend jen has the same exact last name and her dad is a tad crazo (too crazy to be called crazy)
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Female 105
lmfao!!!!!!!!!!
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Male 5
Sounds like Peter Griffin from Family Guy... Only HE
would do something like this
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Female 171
I want to do all that, tomorrow, Zellers shall be my victim...
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Female 963
That made me laugh :-)
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Male 13
Pick ME! OMG I nearly choked laughing.
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Male 358
bloody brilliant, but fake.
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Male 295
I`ve almost got myself banned from the supermarket a few times, but I`ve never done something THAT bad... the worse I`ve done is just walk around taking some stuff and putting it in another shelf...
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Male 33
Gave me a good laugh.
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Female 2,695
hahahahahah. that is hilarious.
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Male 522
Fake and unfunny.
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Male 27
i dont care if its fake, theyre all still funny as hell XD i am definatly going to try some at my local supermarket
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Female 251
i would do that!!!.......................if i was a trouble maker and wanted to die!
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Female 17
Roflmao :-D
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Male 602
What is a code 3 in housewares?
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Male 1
Apparently no one noticed that the logo at the top is not the American Kmart logo even though the letter claims to be from a NV store. The logo used is for the Australian Kmart (which is a different company). A similar version without the italics was used in America but only until 1990.
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Female 2,927
sounds like a fun guy.
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Male 1,289
AAHAHAA! =]
nicccce
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Female 184
You know that`s fake and everything, obvious typos too, but funny things anyways.
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Female 156
....fake yet funny
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Male 145
December 18 and down were really funny ROFL
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Male 1,029
OLD. I got this in an email back in 2005 I think.
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2,767
very funny even though its fake.
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Male 135
obviously fake....look at the font, it changes slightly
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Male 306
hehehehe....lol...rofl
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Male 1,385

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Male 693
lmao, "asked the clerk where the antidepressants are in the gun section." :-D
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Female 195
There was a list of things to do at Wal-Mart on I-Am-bored with the majority of these on there.

Why do we repost these?

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Male 133
Obviously fake. Not enough legal terminology.
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Female 57
Never realized how much fun you could have in K-Mart before!
A wonderful deconstruction of our consumer culture.
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Male 8
Just called the store and asked for the manager. I told him code 3 and he got all pissed off. Apparently I`m not the only one to prank this guy.
He told me to stay on the phone and keep talking like he was gonna trace my call or something. ROTGDFLMMFAO!
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Female 101
mmm, middle school pranks from ten years ago.
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Male 598
obviously fake
but funny
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Female 444
NO! NO NOT THE VOICES AGAIN!!!
I`ll have to try that...
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Female 818
I`d say the terrible grammar totally discredited it.
Then again, it IS K-Mart.
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Female 52
A gun department?? Seriously?

I`m not joking. I mean, a gun department?!

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Female 584
The old ones are the best ones.
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Female 550
I called the number at the bottom of the letter and asked to talk to John Walker, the manager. The lady I talked to sounded really annoyed when she said, "There is no one here by that name!"

My guess is there are other people that call and ask for him

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Male 437
oh god that was hilarious. i am totaly using this as a checklist to get kicked out of wal mart
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Female 217
LOL! `There`s no toilet paper!`

It`s fake though.

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Female 1,492
it`s Kmart...does anyone really care?
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Male 134
ya, it cant be real, because its exactly word for word the "fun things to do in Kmart" list, and some of those like "the madonna look" the security could not possibly know, i know i wouldnt. but ya, funny to see this list again
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Male 1,485
hilarious, even though it is fake
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Male 425
lol thats great, too Bad its fake. :-(
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Female 1,426
They should have made the grammar right. It was annoying having the past tense and then having them just copy and paste the present tense there. It`s like saying "the last time he was here he is bored."
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Male 317
Some of those were good ideas. Urge to put condoms in random peoples carts rising...
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Male 210
fake or not, this is really funny. lol
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Male 1,584
they took this from an onld thing i saw a long time ago of "things to do when you are bored in walmart"
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Female 1,412
I have also yet to try those in a shop =) Tesco here we come =D
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Female 1,412
Thats either fake or someone got it off that thing where it tells you what to do in a shop =/

Not amusing soz !

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Female 295
I knew it was fake.....but in the back of my mind I REALLY wanted it to be real....
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Male 41
must.. do... everything.. on... list!!
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Male 1,275
ALL FROM A JOKE BOOK
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Male 1,406
Another way to create a list of fun things to do in K-mart.
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Male 1,023
shopped
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Female 1,984
Yeah, it`s fake... but funny.
Humming the "Mission Impossible" theme really isn`t bad.
The guy who wrote this probably got the ideas from those "What not to do/how to annoy in a store" lists.
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Female 152
She has the last name as me...weird.
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Female 416
ROFL, i`m gonna go try to get banned from K-mart now.

Its not like it would be that much of a loss.

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Male 869
Obviously it`s fake. Funny premise though. As if a store would take the time to actually write you a letter,list every offense in said letter and wait until the 20th offense to take action. But most importantly.....as if K-Mart would turn anyone away.
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Male 51
well the good way to do it is have someone with you that has a hidden camera and film reactions as you do the things
also do everything on the list within one day.
it could be like a scavenger hunt everyone around the iab universe could do it and have a special website for the best reaction from around the country/world lol
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Male 788
Yeah,it would be great if it were real...but the Manager cant spell sometimes...
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Female 285
I am going to try hiding behind clothing racks and say "pick me". That sounds awesomely fun!!
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Male 7
Fake, it`s gramatically incorrect. The one where he uses the the survalience camera as a mirror forgot to use the word "is."
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Male 392
Fake.
I caught so many typos.
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Female 2,552
They have a gun department?
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Female 1,398
Haha, that`s such sh*t. I read a funny joke website with this joke on it titled "Things to do in Stores When Your Wife Makes You Go Shopping". It had the exact same things on it. I`ve also read ones with the same stuff called "Stuff to do in Wal Mart" and other store names.
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Male 384
another tell that it`s fake is the lady said `invite the in` instead of `invite them in`
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Male 773
i dont care if it was fake or not, it was funny
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Male 265
Not very funny to me, waaay too fake.
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Male 317
this is funny, because i never saw it previously. But the poster should have linked to snopes instead. snopes list is longer.
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Male 296
this is so fake. but funny
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Female 159
Saturday, September 22, 2007 3:47:12 "AM
It became increasingly obvious that it was fake. Most noticeably when he was getting busted for making noise, considering security cameras can`t record noise ."

My parents own a restaurant/bar. We have seven security cameras, all of which record sound.
The letter was stupid .. I`ve seen the list so many times that I didn`t find it funny :-(

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Male 1,497
*attempts to hijack this comments page*
So uh, god damn! i forgot what i was gona say to hijack this comments page, carry on!
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Female 441
Ive always wanted 2 go do that stuff at walamrt...i laughed when i sa wthis but i wuz wondering y thye chose Kmart
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Female 2,220
HAHAHAHAHAA.
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Female 197
is is completly hilarious!!! i love it it meda me lol i should try that som times...
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Female 241
FAKE~
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Male 1,497
God damn it! this is a repost ive acctually seen before, now that is sad...
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Female 338
You don`t need Snopes to know this is fake. The grammar`s awful. It was funnier when it was called "Ways to Piss People off in K-Mart" (Or something like that)
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Male 276
ROFLOL!!!
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Male 308
someone actually did these and posted on iab? xD
we all know about the things to do in wal*mart..well I guess now k-mart
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Male 79
those are funny alone... but trying to put them in a letter for banning someone from K-mart... not funny. omg he cries when ppl talk to him kick him out of the store!!!
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Female 663
Whether it`s fake or not still doesn`t change the fact that the concept is funny.
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Male 498
LOL
SEPTEMBER ONES ARE THE BEST LOL
"why cant everyone leave me ALONE !?"
LOL
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Male 4,012
Fake, but it needs to be made real.

Anyone up for the challenge?

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Female 95
Gay
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Male 513
Complete B.S. The cameras don`t pick up sound, plus they are up on the ceiling, so how can the guy use one as a mirror to pick his nose?
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Male 4,246
"Snopes can I am a pretty little girl, I`ve done more than this in one store."

What exactly are you trying to tell us there, SerFox? )-|

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Female 268
"And if Snopes says its fake, then its definately fake"

Im not saying that in this case Snopes got it wrong or in many other cases, Snopes is usually reliable, however nothing in this world is 100%, there is a chance that Snopes can get things qrong.

Question everything, even question the questions ;) :P

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Female 195
definately fake, ive seen the same thing but for Tesco instead of K-mart

still funny tho :)

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Female 156
Now to find a guy to marry who does things like that. That would make my day if I was married to him.
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Female 79
The Store managers name is spelt different iat the top and bottom of the letter XD
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Male 625
Funny, but before anyone says Anything, FAKE.
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spre...

no poo sherlock

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Male 276
Snopes can I am a pretty little girl, I`ve done more than this in one store.

This guy has class, though a couple of them were uninspired, a few were rather clever.

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Male 3,619
cuzz iu would probably don the same.
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Male 3,619
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "mission Impossible theme"

HAHA that guy rulez

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Male 191
yea i thought it was fake anyways because they said the instead of they.. they proofread that stuff to check if they made mistakes. And if Snopes says its fake, then its definately fake
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Male 5
Such idiocy....brilliant!
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Male 4,246
Oh, if only somebody actually WOULD do these things and make it onto the evening news or something.
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Male 1,629
i used to do the fetal thing all the time lmao soo much fun
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Female 268
"this is so old"

Perhaps, but i hadn`t seen it before.

Recycle!

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Female 268
Awww it`s not real :(
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Female 4,376
u can tell its fake anyways because a real formal letter like that wouldnt have so many spelling errors. i did 2 of them in walmart when i was 11 tho
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Female 2
OMG wtf my account has been reset! All my favourites are gone and my post count has gone down to TWO.
Seriously WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT i-am-bored?
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Female 2
This is not even close to being real. There are so many spelling errors, its clear someone has just made this up.
If someone did a REAL one, then that would be funny...
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Female 56
definitely not real. i got this in an email about 2 years ago.
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Female 134
Whether it`s fake or not, it got better as it went, December is fabulous. The 3rd and the 23rd are particular favourites.
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Male 550
Fake according to Snopes, but still funny nonetheless.
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Male 779
I`ve seen the list posted elsewhere.
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Male 108
Funny stuff... thanks, I am a lot less bored :-)
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Male 695
That was hella funny.
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Male 315
Fake or not, I now have a very amusing to-do list.
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Male 41
agreed completely fake!
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Female 150
haha. did anyone notice that they made a spelling error?? It should have been "he`d invite THEM in if they`ll bring pillows.."
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Male 2,958
I can`t believe this made it on here...

I know I shouldn`t as much as I do, but I friggin hate this picture. It`s so obviously fake and it`s like they just took one of those "what to do in:" lists and put a story in front of it. It just gets under my skin.

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Male 151
"this is so old"

*nods*

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Male 3
this is so old
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Male 623
It became increasingly obvious that it was fake. Most noticeably when he was getting busted for making noise, considering security cameras can`t record noise .

But it was pretty damn hilarious, I`ll totally pull some of those pranks at K-Mart or Target the next time I go.

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Male 107
"honey why did you put these condoms in the cart? don`t you already have some at home? besides these are way to large for you." as a groups of girls start laughing as they walk by.
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Male 888
Hahah.. asked if there were antidepressants in the gun section?
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Female 32
I wish I owned a person like that...
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Male 411
Yeah you can tell it`s fake. If it`s real then this guy must be bored.
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Male 128
Definitely Fake
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Male 151
yea, check out the snopes link above :p
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Female 681
im going to see if its real myself
& call that store # at the bottom
& make fun of the manager ;-)
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Male 151
wow, thats definatly not real, but very funny
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Male 32
LMAO!
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Female 4,028
These are getting old.
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Male 2,576
Funny, but before anyone says Anything, FAKE.
[url=http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spree.asp]http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/spre...[/url]
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Female 8
This is freaking hilarious.
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Male 46
Link: How to Get Banned From K-Mart [Rate Link] - What a guy did to get himself, his wife, and his family banned from K-Mart.
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