100 Reasons You`re Still Single

Submitted by: buddy 9 years ago in Funny
http://radaronline.com/from-the-magazine/2007/08/100_reasons_youre_single_1.php

Now you know.
There are 69 comments:
Female 731
Bad. Plus, none of them applied to me...
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Male 1,289
wait...now that i read it, i don`t do any of those things...sweet.
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Male 1,289
wait...i`m not single 0_0
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Female 986
... :( I hate it when the people on wheel of fortune don`t know a simple answer... Is it bad that I thought one of those were a good idea?...I have some pretty crazy ass dreams... *decides to make a dream journal* ...MMORPGs FOREVER! :( and what is wrong with calling my underwear panties? That is what they are :( and I would date someone that had samurai swords in their office :D and people that kept dream journals and played mmorpgs... scrumptious is a great word... I think that was enough angry ranting. You know valid reasons (though there were some there would have been) 1. You live in your mother`s basement at the age of 37 2. You make boob contact instead of eye contact 3. You don`t go outside your home therefore you don`t meet any potential partners. :P
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Male 521
read them all and only one applied :)
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Female 143
All the reasons I am still single:

1. I want to be single.

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Female 583
None of these apply against me. Yay.

I`m just imagining being dumped for some of those reasons.

"Yeah, I had a great time maybe we should do this again somti-........."
"What?"
"IS THAT A F*CKING STUFFED ANIMAL ON YOUR BED?!?!"

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Male 244
the best ones...8. Have a ferret on your shoulder

9. Call sex "the squishy squish"

10. Are Courtney Love

12. Address acquaintances as "guy"

13. 
Use emoticons in handwritten letters

14. 
Own a "It`s Not Going to Suck Itself" T-shirt
class..26. Flash devil horns in wedding photos i do that..

38. 
Refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex

39. Take off work each year to celebrate Cinco 
de Mayo; are Irish

47. Have a five o`clock shadow, on your ass

51. Call underwear "panties"

52. Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed

57. Own a 60-inch flat-screen plasma television but sleep on a broken futon

69. Have a rhyming nickname

70. Sold your forehead to goldenpalace.com

71. Have a "LaRouche `08" bumper sticker

72. Have taken a course on improving your oral sex technique

73. Will do anything for "poos and giggles"

78. Own all 24 volumes of Now

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Female 21
thata was stupid stuff like "if your Oj Simpson"..oh dats well funny hahah NO........
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Male 164
60 comments jeez. Everyone`s mad that they`re single and it`s making fun of them. Big deal laugh at yourself and get on with your life.
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Male 336
101) caught on tape molesting pinatas
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Male 52
Those were funny. You all just need to get laid.
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Male 203
I fall under 2 of these. I play an MMORPG and consider riddles icebreakers.
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Female 1,397
101. Are fugly
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Female 441
dat was incredibly stupid
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Female 4,376
67. Subscribe to any massive multiplayer online gaming experience


me and my fiance LOVE mmorpgs and i call underwear panties and he thinks its adorable/sexy


sooo psshh in your face link!

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Male 247
Bull Sh*t.
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Male 907
58. Have taken more than one cell phone picture of your genitals

I bet he said "more than one" because otherwise it would have counted against him ^_^.

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Male 246
Hm, this should be pretty useful for the people that have about 2000 posts on iab. :-)
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Male 813
"37. Prefer the "fist bump" when meeting strangers and always insist they "lock it in"" People do that to me sometimes and I just want to backhand them. It`s not cool, it`s annoying and retarded, piss off.
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Female 2,244
SO TRUE!
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Female 194
Hm. I thought some of those were funny. None of them actually applied to me, and I`m single.

My dad uses the word "scumptious".

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Male 743
i got 6 of em........lol yet im not single =D
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Female 241
LoL...
the geico caveman!
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Male 3,619
well, i dont realy got much of this stuff on my list, AND IM SINGLE!
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Female 363
82. Have cellulite on your face

Ewww. And that was pretty lame. :/

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Female 488
I guess I`m going to be single forever... -_-;;
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Male 12
HEY!!, i LIKE the bosstones... >o
but ya, some of them made be laugh,
but for the most part,
not funny.
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Male 76
I read about 4 and got bored o.0
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Male 118
malikymoo"whats wrong with ferrets?"

nothing except mine just bit me ,little git

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Male 308
that was so stupid, why did I even bother reading all 100?..none of them were funny?
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Female 576
ehh i had one against me..
i have 1 stuffed animal on my bed.
tsk tsk tsk.
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Female 2,552
"9. Call sex "`the squishy squish`"
Hahaha!
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Female 486
Okay, so...none of those are actually true for me, and I`m still single. =(
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Female 2,027
whats wrong with ferrets?
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Female 350
Whats wrong with iguanas?
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Male 64
51. Call underwear "panties"
That`s bloody well what they are...

62. Use the word "scrumptious"
If you`re not describing what you`re eating with "scrumptious", then I`d understand it...

I would`ve added 67, but considering I don`t do P2P, I don`t necessarily subscribe. `course, they really should`ve added:

101: Rite lik u typ

Or something to do with the horrible-ness of netspeak.

C`est la vive, it`d be nice to claim I was single...

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Male 686
according to this i shouldnt be single since none of those things apply to me.... but then again im only 15
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Male 407
OMG i dont do any of those.. yet im still single!
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Male 148
I read only the 1st page and it made me more bored. Please tell me if there was "Because you watch internet porn 2 hours/day and don`t need women anymore"?

That would be my reason. Or excuse.

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Female 525
17. Posed shirtless for your MySpace page
^^so many guys i no do this...its utterly stupid


11. Hug amusement park mascots
^^i do that!

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Male 2,005
nr: 67 and 99 was the only 1s that fitted me,
1 more thing; the more i learn about women the more i love my car
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Male 1,270
6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks

It`s like they`re watching me...

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Male 26
These.
Aren`t.
Funny.
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Male 232
Come off it, there not that bad... no wait, it was terrible. Burn the link in spam.
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Female 1,412
Ahh BlueTools...stupid idiots....take of the frickin bluetooth..
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Male 1,385
40. Have a disturbingly high thetan count

Wouldn`t that rule out Tom Cruise?

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Male 4,246
OK, so a good portion of those are valid; but for the most part: CRAP! There is NOTHING wrong with ferrets! Stupid Radar people. >-(

"94. Work at Radar"

Although it`s good they can laugh at themselves. :-D

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Male 314
Own all 24 volumes of Now That`s What I 
Call Music!

--------------------------------

24???? Last time I checked it was in its 50 or 60`s.

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Male 69
Wheel of fortune and MMORPGs against me, but they aren`t why I`m single..none of the crap on that dumb list hhad anything to do with why.
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Female 274
I think everyone agrees that this is LAME. Ergh.
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Male 1,354
I haven`t posted on IAB forever. I just logged in to say how incredibly stupid this is.
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Male 98
Wah. I don`t wanna be single anymore. Or at least get some. Right fellas? *gives anyone who will accept a virtual high five
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Male 1,142
i read them all. one applied to me. some of them were just dumb like the guys who made this list would buy http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?lin... . thats what i see win i try to picture the kind of person who made that list.
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Male 44
I thought everybody screamed out the answers to wheel of fortune =]
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Male 270
I stopped reading at "The squishy squish", too unbearably stupid.
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Female 37
I got four against me. I don`t care what it says. I`ll hug as many mascots as I want. And have stuffed animals on my bed if I want. And play City of Heroes. And like to buy Happy Meals for the toys.
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Female 2,084
2. 

Have entertained the notion that "the Axe 
Effect" is real
i seriously don`t like the smell of that stuff.

9. Call sex "the squishy squish"
and this on made me lol.

25. Know someone who knows someone who knows the Geico caveman
wth?? lol.

44. 
Refer to Target as "Tar-Jay"
omg. i know so many people who do that!!!

79. Are O.J. Simpson
just . . .

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Male 991
Some of them made me chuckle, but not lol.
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Female 1,158
Couldn`t bear to read all of them.

They were dumb. Seriously.

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Male 209
Heh. Single, and not a single mark against me.

Maybe it`s just `cause I`m 14

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Female 118
heheh, the squishy squish.
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Female 168
This is pathetic
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Male 835
AFK to kill myself.
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Male 251
im sure there r alot more reasons...
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Female 416
i only read half and i`ve already got 3 strikes against me....not terrible ones but they`re there.

my self-esteem just died and it wasn`t even funny.

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Female 97
101) Can sit and read through 100 examples of stereotyped crap.

102) They could have at least been funny.

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Male 3
stupid
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Male 10,115
Link: 100 Reasons You`re Still Single [Rate Link] - Now you know.
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