Letter to Optimus Prime from his Geico agent

Submitted by: texorama 10 years ago in Funny
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2007/7/9weaver.html

I wonder if he"s eligible for a driver"s safety course...
There are 25 comments:
Female 2,084
your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm.

hahaha.

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Female 1,596
o.o That`s a lot of money.
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Male 17
That was a waste of time, its much easier for all you to stop by my profile, lol
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Female 29
wasnt that funny
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Male 2,781
HAVEN`T SEEN THE MOVIE...IS IT GOOD?
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Male 194
GEICO does not cover Autobot Matrix of Leaderships.

LOLZ!!!!!

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Male 341
I didn`t read it all, but great idea.
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Male 210
tl;dr`d it.
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Male 126
Much <3 for anything from McSweeney`s.

I apologize to those of you who found it too long. Please, though, most of us would find it quite respectable if you would withhold your comments for the material you actually do process. Or you can just eat sh*t and die. Yes, do that, please.

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Female 87
Your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm.

LMAO at least he saved something..=D

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Female 274
This was clever.

Read it you silly people. Why the hell are you on IAB? Lazy kids.

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Male 301
The same people who claim this is too long are probably the same people who never read anything in school (for the same reason), and probably don`t read their own insurance statements (for the same reason). Oh well.

The amusement park ride and the breath test were my favorite parts! Pretty clever!

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Male 6
To sum up, GEICO has been unable to reimburse you for any repairs, but due to the high number of accidents you have been a party to this month, combined with the many accidents you have had in the preceding five months, your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm. Please have your check into our main office by the end of July.

Hilarity.

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Male 89
i would listen to a giant robot wouldn`t you
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Male 4,246
"You claimed the damage was caused by a giant mechanical scorpion, which I can only assume is some amusement-park ride"
Hahaha!!! That would be one Bad-Ass amusement park! :-D

Now, some people are saying this is "too long?" That is just......unbelievable. You people sicken me. Seriously, Holy F*cking $hit. "Too Long."

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Male 19
Only $235,567.50 per month? Lucky bastard.
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Female 1,589
Awww, lots of people are saying it`s lame. I liked it. D:
"Sneak attack by Decepticons" or "Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings."
LMFAO best part. XD
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Male 4,012
TLDR.

Much much too long for it to be funny.

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Male 272
`your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month.`

Do Transformers even get paid?
At least he saved with Geico.

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Female 3,726
"Sneak attack by Decepticons"....haha

$379,431.34 requested reimbursement for repairs to your truck cabin. You claimed the damage was caused by attacking fighter jets.

**I should use that excuse, it could definitely happen where I work......hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

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Female 1,832
I really liked Optimus Prime in the movie, he actually made me feel proud, lmao.
This letter (or faux letter) was too long but it did have its funny parts, like the Breathylizer thingy (I know its spelled wrong ).
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Male 376
I kinda liked it, pretty obvious references to everything in the movie and stuff, but still funny
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Male 49
nvm cant fit it all
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Male 49
Not funny... took me a while for it to even work so for people with same problem here


_______________________

A LETTER TO
OPTIMUS PRIME
FROM HIS GEICO
AUTO INSURANCE
AGENT.
BY JOHN FRANK WEAVER

- - - -

Dear Mr. Prime,

We have received your accident-claim reports for the month of June—they total 27. I regret to inform you that GEICO will not be able to reimburse you for any of those repairs. I feel that I have sent the same letter to you once a month for the last six months, and I am now sending it again.

Since becoming a GEICO customer in January of this year, you have reported 131 accidents, requesting reimbursement for repairs necessitated by each one. You have claimed not to be responsible in any of them, usually listing the cause of the accident as either "Sneak attack by Decepticons" or "Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings."

The only repairs for which you were reimbursed were the replac

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Male 25
Link: Letter to Optimus Prime from his Geico agent [Rate Link] - I wonder if he`s eligible for a driver`s safety course...
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