Kid Wisdom

Submitted by: buddy 9 years ago in Funny
http://users.erols.com/geary/humor/kids.htm

Kids in first grade are given the first part of a proverb and asked to complete it.
There are 71 comments:
Male 115
i thought some were funny, some werent
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Male 242
Not the proverbs, but the other stuff really made me laugh out loud! Like this one:

"Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it`s not like he really needed them, right?"

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Male 321
i dont think these were written by first graders...
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Male 98
These are the types of kids you love so much, you just want to molest them.

What? What? Seriously. Put down the gun. You can`t shoot me through the computer.

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Female 363
A penny saved is.....not much.
Gahaha. XD
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Female 428
Those really didn`t sound like children...)-|
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Female 560
that seemed fake to me
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Male 7
"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. "

lol. so true

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Male 296
I liked the younger ones, not so much the older ones because when they write something funny, they`re just trying to be funny. The younger ones are genuine.
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Female 112
^ I`m... disturbed.
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Male 129
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??
"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don`t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy,8)

lol.

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Male 425
I hate to admit it, but kids are definately smarter than adults on a moral level.

Maybe there is hope left for the human race.

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Female 94
my class did this in the first grade. :) we made a book out of them, i still have it somewhere... i remember one i wrote, "never underestimate the power of... batman." *sigh* i was so silly...
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Female 582
"I don`t know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. "

i want to meet this kid

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Male 577
Female, 13-17, Europe
639 Posts Monday, June 18, 2007 5:54:07 AM
"It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president`s birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.

--Age 8"

We get a day off for the queen`s birthday? :-S

^^^ victoria day

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Male 1,866
hahah great stuff.
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Male 2,720
Top real, bottom unreal. That is all.
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Female 331
That did give me a giggle, not bothered if it`s real or not.
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Female 35
I dunno, my seven year old niece can come up with some, interesting little things
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Female 1,596
o.o Some of the were funny xD
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Male 34
smart-ass kids....
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Female 879
I really liked these..even if they were fake
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Male 24
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...you have to blow your nose. smartest words ever
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Female 1,984
"My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn`t want to upset him.
--Age 10"

Aww... child indoctrination. Y`see, Hell is worse than the fact that when we die that`s it.

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Male 1,364
hahahahaha
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Female 2,552
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
"It`s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...That`s why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)

..uh, what?

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Male 147
If normal American schoolkids are this funny, who are the spastics who write your crap.py sitcom scripts?
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Female 2,084
this is why i can`t wait to have kids.
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Female 1,007
My mother got this in one of those e-mails from the boss. :-|
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Female 110
These have made my day. :-)
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Male 3
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I`m just a kid. I don`t need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

Epic Win.

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Male 238
Some of them are funny, but it`s bs. 1st graders aren`t that smart.
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Male 625
i reckon all of these are fake so i stopped reading
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Male 126
Most of those are definitely not thought up by kids. For one, the vocabulary and sentence composition are remarkably refined for grade schoolers. Secondly, their senses of humor are particularly adult (one even mentions auditing tax returns o.0) When I was 6, my idea of a joke was, "Jake likes to fart!"
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Male 189
THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I`m just a kid. I don`t need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

WISE KID!

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Female 1,065
When the blind leadeth the blind......get out of the way.

Genius.

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Female 426
I kinda got bored, I didn`t think little kids like that had that big of a vocabulary.
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Female 1,832
Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it`s not like he really needed them, right?
--Age 15

I often wonder how come John Tesh isn`t as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it`s because he sucks.
--Age 15

LOL

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Male 1,092
"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don`t have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"

lol

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Female 525
WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??
"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don`t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy,8)

cute, cute but I do get the feeling some of these are fake

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Male 1,039
Who the **** asks little kids what a quality of a "good lover" is??!

Isn`t that borderline child molestation..LOL. So Jack, what makes daddy so good with mommy in bed?

I fall under the FAKE crowd on these questions.

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Male 358
Blind guys and musketeers FTW
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Male 1,149
This is sooooo old. Get some new stuff I-am-bored!
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Male 213
Hmm... I vote that at least 80 percent of these are fake. Funny, but fake.
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Male 967
Hahaha... So marvelous the mind of a child is.
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Female 274
This is cute.
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Male 907
When the blind leadeth the blind......get out of the way.

...@_@ so wise! I marvel at that monumental advice. :-D

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Female 262
Dhahahahaahah--->I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween

;)

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Male 240
I know fifteen year olds who couldnt say stuff that smart.. or maybe I go to a crappy school, anyway from my experience kids arent that smart
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Male 40
we have a bank holiday for the queen, everyone just call`s it a bank holiday though!
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Male 838
Lol! Just wait `till puberty =D
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Male 4,547
Yeah some of these didn`t look real at all. I really hope at least some of them are though. :)
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Female 64
haha yeah, yakkitori, i thought that, i`ve never had a day off for her birthday.
Some are pretty obviously fake and done by adults.
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Male 112
Oh and yakkitori I thoguht the same. Turns out we do.
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Male 112
Lol lower down
"My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn`t want to upset him."
--Age 10
A likely story.
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Female 630
"It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president`s birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.


--Age 8"

We get a day off for the queen`s birthday? :-S

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Female 630
"It isn`t always just how you look. Look at me. I`m handsome like anything and I haven`t got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)

Haha that one cracked me up

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Female 73
I hate that people consistantly post things "kids" have said or written, when in reality it is actually just a bunch of adults (or one adult) coming up with phrases or stories they think adults would find amusing coming from kids.

A similar idea would be the whole "simile" compliation if you know what I`m talking about.

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Male 119
I think the proverbs one are fake....
all thought by adults.
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Male 185
The definition of the site.
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Male 276
`I gaze at the brilliant full moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one`s right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come the closest to Utopia, and I show him a copy of the Constitution. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts.`

To my new friend, I salute you.

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Male 209
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)

DUH! Of course! Why didn`t I think of that!? *bang head on desk*

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Female 781
"Two`s company, three`s..... the musketeers."

Win.

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Female 447
I liked the last section the best. Some of them were really clever, especially from the older ones.
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Male 96
There`s another that I`ve heard but it isn`t on this list.

"Never look a gift horse in the...package."

Funny stuff.

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Male 842
In the words of the great Bill Cosby, "Kids say the Darndest Things!"
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Female 71
thats so cute
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Male 563
*pokes PhoenixPhata* meanie -.-
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Male 563
First! (I think)
some made me laugh, I`ve seen a couple things like this before, though
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Male 280
Oh wow, what a novel idea...
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Male 10,115
Link: Kid Wisdom [Rate Link] - Kids in first grade are given the first part of a proverb and asked to complete it.
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