Power of Punctuation

Submitted by: acjacobson 10 years ago in Funny

Just a few little symbols change a lot.
There are 93 comments:
Male 1,064
A woman without. Her man is nothing?
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Female 1,264
punctuation`s powerful? sure the next time some one jumps out from a dark alley screaming "GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY". the smartest move would be to correct his grammar.
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Male 382
Soon we will no longer be able to communicate.
Soon language will be just a basal series of grunts.
Oh woe is us.
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Female 192
Hahahahah
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Female 25
I like the panda one :-)
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Female 1,470

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Argh_Beast
Male, 18-29, Europe
404 Posts Thursday, May 03, 2007 4:58:34 AM
Ha yes! The Eternal Sex war thing. The problem is that the war is already lost! With so many women thinking they can live without man and man without women the Gay population in the world enlarges like nothing else

LMAO

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Female 673
The original sentence has correct grammar if that`s what you want to mean and the male`s sentence has incorrect grammar. There should not be commas there.

The female sentence had it turn into another meaning, which is cool, but it contains a sentence fragment.

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Male 276
So I`m nothing because I`m gay? I think not. However I still found this entertaining, and I think this would be somehting to pass the time, to write a sentence and then try to shift it`s meaning with mere punctuation.
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Male 756
I just found out that my uncle jack`s off his rocker.
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Male 1,674
-All right, i`lll take your case but i will require a $1000 retainter.
-Bute your ad say "Works on contingeny, no money down."
-Oh, they got that all screwed up:
"Works on Congtingency? No, Money Down!"
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Male 756
For all you "Hermans" out there... just remove a space and capitalize Her, and you`ve got,

"A woman without Herman is nothing."

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Male 187
"What are you going to say next? That periods are a curse to women from taking the fruit from the gay little tree in the gay little garden that didn`t exist in the first place? For f*cks sake you make me sick."

Calm the f*ck down u stupid b*tch he was only kidding sh*t whats wrong with u!? Oh wait your pic says you`re emo...nevermind...

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Female 1,492
ya damn skippy the last one is true
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Male 907
this can easily be switched to.
A woman without her man, is nothing.
or.
A woman without her man: is nothing.
either way, im still going to fail my english language course.

Apparently :-P

"A woman without her man, is nothing."

You forgot another comma. It should be "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
You could just avoid putting commas in the sentence altogether and it would make sense.

ALSO
":" serves as the word "is".
Ex: YouThink: A great site.
NOT
YouThink: Is a great site.

I enjoy grammar so much :-).

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Male 154
this can easily be switched to.
A woman without her man, is nothing.
or.
A woman without her man: is nothing.
either way, im still going to fail my english language course.
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Male 31
This is so horribly stupid I cannot even bear to look at it. Male/Female jokes are so overused and overdone, and furthermore, any joke that has an undertone of feminism in it is in my book completely retarded. I have no problem with women having whatever rights they want but I have a massive problem with women that think like whatever tards wrote that on the chalkboard. It is such a Rosie O`Donnell joke/way of thinking.

God I dislike Feminism.

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Male 247
It`s funny though that you would take such offense to that.
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Male 247
"Oh look. A sexist God loving prick. Lets kill him."

It was a joke, and nothing more.

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Female 52
hm.. well this has turned slightly hostile...

honestly, i saw the guys` interpretation first, which made me want to slap the hell out of the professor that did that

and as for this whole "Uncle Jack" thing, when its written it looks better, but when you say it thats when it depends on the way you emphasize words and which words you emphasize

like in: "I helped my Uncle Jack off his horse" you would put emphasis on "Jack" (believe it or not)

and in "I helped my uncle jack off his horse" you would put emphasis on "uncle"

but, meh, we`re talkin about punctuation, sorry for my interjection of off-topic ness

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Female 1,062
oh yay, more stereotypes
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Female 815
What are you going to say next? That periods are a curse to women from taking the fruit from the gay little tree in the gay little garden that didn`t exist in the first place? For f*cks sake you make me sick.
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Female 815
"A woman: without her, man would still be in the garden of Eden."

Oh look. A sexist God loving prick. Lets kill him.

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Female 2,220
I laughed out loud and thought, "Thank god for punctuation".
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Male 756
A little effort in synonymous word usage can structure a sentence that eliminates confusion...

I helped my Uncle Jack dismount from his horse.

I helped my Uncle Jack masturbate his horse to orgasm.

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Female 3,696
A panda eats shoots and leaves.

A panda eats, shoots, and leaves.

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Female 190
uhm. ok cool :]
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Male 308
That`s pretty funny. Oh, and nice examples BigBonny and HylianNinja.
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Female 175
Seen it... but it is AMAZING!!!
Haha girls rule, guys drool. :-P ;-)
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Male 991
"I helped my uncle, Jack, off a horse." Right? Not "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse." The second one still sounds wrong to me. Blah, what happened to all the good posts?
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Male 158
where my white wimmenz?!
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Male 1,364
meh bit cleaver at best
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Male 1,866
fantastic!
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Male 10,440
how dumb
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Male 128
Not funny, But not stupid.
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Male 139
more like A, woman! witout man @ is ( nothing%%%%#%%!#$^%#&^[email protected]%&$%&[email protected]%&[email protected]%&@$%1
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Female 697
My english teacher did that with my class but he just told us to punctuate it every way possible then explained it to us.
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Female 344
hahah so true men are nothing without their women =D
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Female 576
i`ve seen this a million times but i still think it`s cute.
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Male 98
just like dont drink water, fish have sex in it. Meanining you shouldnt drink water because fish have sex in it or
dont drink water, fish, have sex in it.
meaning the fish should have sex in the water instead of drinking it.
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Female 690
Punctuation is great.
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Female 74
damn straight! LOL
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Male 92
DiePSPolice, you`re wrong. :)
The male`s version is not the same as the original. The part that is in commas is an interrupter. You can take it out, and the sentence would mean the same thing.
If I`m understanding right, you`re trying to say that "man" means humans and "men" is for males. Really, man is singular and men is plural.
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Male 1,263
lmfao clever
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Female 667
ha...? ha...?
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Female 136
Considering the original sentence was pretty degrading to women, saying they can`t live without men i pretty much understand how the women of the class had to defend themselves, pretty clever i must say.
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Male 994
It`s interesting to see how one see a sentence differently.

But maybe I`m just hopped up after reading Fahrenheit 451 .

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Female 1,065
haha! Punctuation is awesome..
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Female 174
v clever and v true! :D:D
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Male 511
*WARNING SLIGHTLY OFF TOPIC*
"^^ I suppose you`ve experienced a few firsthand hmm?"

yes

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Female 214
"say, this reminds me of this endecyclopedia brown story. Someone turned a love letter into hate mail, hehe"

Me too! I loved those stupid things.

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Male 182
it`s fun how the guys think this post is lame and the girls think this post is awesome
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Female 169
Brilliant!
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Male 315
haha, this is cool :)
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Male 242
yay for sexist jokes :-P
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Male 247
A woman: without her, man would still be in the garden of Eden.
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Male 756
Punctuation and Capitalization are good things.

And as for capitalizing Uncle Jack (or uncle jack), I believe the horse is better off, regardless of which way the sentence is presented.

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Female 2,552
Oldddd but I still like it.
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Male 2,216
thespamonkey... I wrote that one on page 1.
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Female 31
VikStar must think that everyone is stupid and that there is no such thing as an english class. Most people know what a colon is and what to do with it, maybe you can take your stupid comment and shove it up your dumb ass
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Male 29
i prefer the one about the importance of capitals:

I helped my uncle Jack off a horse.
or
I helped my uncle jack off a horse.

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Male 187
How do u fix ur washing machine?

Slap her and tell her to get back to work

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Male 988
yeah i saw the guy`s impression first. What about you girls, which did you think of first?
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Male 118
Forgive me if im wrong, but isnt the female sentance actually false due to switching quantatives (may not be the right word) and use of an incorrect term.
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Male 946
lmao well done cheeseman!
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Female 49
haha
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Male 1,406
Reminds me of Lionel Hutz. No, money down!
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Female 399
It`s just a shame that the whole scenario is unrealistic. A teacher teaching English grammar in school? I`ll believe that when I see it! And a student correctly identifying a colon, let alone using one is almost unheard of. Most adults wouldn`t know what to do with one.
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Male 8
What diePSPolice said about nobody would think up a bunch of non standard punctuation is wrong.Our theacher in my high school put this on the board and within two minutes we had both of them. The part about all males thikning one and females thinking the other was not ther case in our class tho.
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Female 579
It`s quite cool really. I like it. Not funny, more "Oh I didn`t realise!".
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Male 99
this post, like many recently, is lame
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Female 1,395
=)
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Female 345
^^ That`s wrong. The singles population enlarges like nothing else ;)

Anyway ... boring old women against men joke.

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Male 838
Ha yes! The Eternal Sex war thing. The problem is that the war is already lost! With so many women thinking they can live without man and man without women the Gay population in the world enlarges like nothing else.
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Male 4,012
I`m still waiting for the lazy typers in here to throw in their non-puntuated sentences.
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Male 383
Lmao HylianNinja. Well done.
And DiePSPolice, your tech-related peeve #4 made my day. = )
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Male 699
Class dumbass: Aw, Oman without Herman is not hung!

Or something along those lines...

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Male 493
Everything about this is retarded.

1) The original version (sans punctuation) is a perfectly valid sentence.

2) The males` version, while perfectly fine, has commas that are totally unnecessary. Nobody would walk up to the chalkboard and add two commas to make a sentence that was identical in meaning to one without the commas.

3) The idea that anybody would read a perfectly valid sentence and then imagine up a bunch of non standard punctuation including a colon and the secondary definition of "man" (which actually means "humans" and not "men") to make a really awkward, clumsy sentence because she was female is stupid.

4) The text, comprised of about 340 bytes of information, was made into a crappy text collage and scanned, resulting in a bloated 77,638 bytes of garbage. That`s like taking a turd and shipping it in a crate.

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Male 902
`Good example for the lazy. Illiterate morons!!!`
Ballsy of you to call EVERYONE illiterate morons when the lazy are clearly your target.

`very clever and so, true.`
Terrible argument. So clever=true?

`Pretty. Old!!`
YEAH SCORE!

`chuckle!!?! chuckle?!??!`
I`m as offended as you are, my friend.

`How? True?`
Clearly.

`All girls in? The world should do nothing but housework!`
I knew they would rebel eventually, but the world is a hell of a thing to attack.

`Ahhh, behold the power of female back. *hand slaps*`
That`s more like it. They knew that rebellion wouldn`t work when they are just so made for the dish work.

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Male 2,216
Capitalisation is another one, its the difference between "I helped my uncle jack off his horse" and "I helped my Uncle Jack off his horse"
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Female 122
^^ I suppose you`ve experienced a few firsthand hmm?
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Male 121
ahhh behold the power of female back hand slaps
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Male 121
all girls in the world should do nothing but housework

boy wrote: All girls in the world, should do nothing but housework.

girl wrote:screw you s**t head *slap*

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Male 429
nvm got it...

say, this reminds me of this endecyclopedia brown story. Someone turned a love letter into hate mail, hehe

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Male 1,265
Yeah, punctuation is powerful. Lame.
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Female 167
As old as time.
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Female 327
How true.
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Male 643
chuckle chuckle
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Male 429
broken picture....
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Male 119
lol
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Male 460
Pretty old.
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Male 15
very clever and so true.
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Male 1,647

Good example for the lazy, illiterate morons!!!
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Male 148
Link: Power of Punctuation [Rate Link] - Just a few little symbols change a lot.
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