5 Minutes to Kill Yourself

Submitted by: Brian 61316 10 years ago in Games
http://www.adultswim.com/games/fiveMinutes/

You have 5 minutes to kill yourself before a boring meetings starts.
There are 126 comments:
Female 2,064
2:47! :-)
0
Reply
Male 13
3:30. Nice Game Played This around May So I New What To Do, This Game Is alsome BUt after about 30 Mins You Kinna Know what To Do, drating Legend
8/10
:)


GamersGuru-

0
Reply
Male 876
I died in 4:20. That game is going in my faves and then, I`m playing it again!
0
Reply
Male 2,620
4:32. Took me two tries.
0
Reply
Female 428
Crappy controls...
0
Reply
Female 727
I died in 420
0
Reply
Female 3
Kristen, almost all of us have someone close to us that has thought about or commited, suicide. We can laugh at this. Suicide is definitely not a good thing, as you pointed out, but everyone has at least had the feeling where they just wanted to throw their hands up in the air and yell `Shoot me now! out of frustration. This game is funny, because of the abstract game idea (most games, the point is to NOT die) and the way we know that this situation is one that is completely ridiculous- you don`t want to go to another meeting so you kill yourself. People, unless depressed or religiously so, value their lives more then that. If you don`t like it, fine, you are entitled to your opinion. But don`t take it out on us in a disrespectful way, as you such did. You had, in the first post, called the game stupid and insensitive, and assumed that the producers had never lost someone to suicide. You are entitled to say so, but don`t be surprised to find your name on many IAB users` hit lists.
0
Reply
Female 22
haha took me 4 min 36 sec to die!
0
Reply
Female 13
omg i only had 10 seconds left
0
Reply
Female 13
it aint loading
0
Reply
Male 447
woot woot bitches!! 1:51
0
Reply
Male 447
3:44
0
Reply
Female 850
Well, Kristen,sugar, SHUT UP! If you don`t like it don`t watch it, THERE! There is your FREAKIN` answer!
0
Reply
Male 37
LOCK&LOAD!
SURGAR SUGAR, SUGAR SUGAR
Sorry this whole thing is just to funny.
Sorry Kristen and sorry other peeps. ( I hope I spelled right)
0
Reply
Female 1
OMG I love this freakin game. The 1st time I won I lost it and I am dumb and couldn`t figure out the buttons for the game....dur arrow keys and the little thing that say directions. lol I LOVE THIS GAME!
0
Reply
Female 175
4:18 this time!! Getting better! (That`s a scary thought!)
0
Reply
Female 175
Whhoooohoooo! I did it!! And with only 30 seconds left, too. Odd game, I wonder what happened to the person who made it up... and I wonder why we all love playing this games, too. Makes you think, doesn`t it?
Here are some things that helped for me:
[spoiler]Sharks, weasels, and clowns help A LOT!![/spoiler]
0
Reply
Female 175
Mwa!! I don`t get it... I`ll try again!
0
Reply
Female 298
Yay! 3:17 first time. Fun!
0
Reply
Female 80
[quote]On 4/10/2007 11:21:12 PM Nicolicious wrote: How the hell do you talk to people? I`m walking around with the arrow keys, and using spacebar to pick things up and start talking- but then when my options come up, I don`t know how to select an answer. I`m buttonpunching and it`s like the game is frozen. Arrows do nothing, spacebar does nothing, letter keys do nothing, clicking my response does nothing- wtf? Can someone explain what I`m supposed to do?[/quote]
I scrolled through the answers with the arrow keys, then used the spacebar to select one. Try that. :-)
0
Reply
Female 80
I did it in 4:20.
0
Reply
Male 134
I won i 1:53
0
Reply
Male 11
1:11 O_o

The timer wasn`t working correctly somehow. I noticed that during the run, so I just kept going while I usually would`ve restarted. This was only on pace for a mid 1:20 run or so. wtf

0
Reply
Male 22
If people who have attempted suicice can joke about it then its funny so shush
0
Reply
Female 1,018
nice post

3:54 not great.

don`t know how you lot got down to 1.30 =/

0
Reply
Female 799
The man in the kitchen trapped me.
0
Reply
Male 414
[quote]On 4/10/2007 6:07:14 PM trentoneli wrote: Welcome to suicide week on IAB[/quote]

#16

0
Reply
Male 11
1:21

3:39.90 ffs

0
Reply
Male 106
Didn`t work... I tried talking to someone and it wouldn`t let me select a response.
0
Reply
Female 58
How the hell do you talk to people? I`m walking around with the arrow keys, and using spacebar to pick things up and start talking- but then when my options come up, I don`t know how to select an answer. I`m buttonpunching and it`s like the game is frozen. Arrows do nothing, spacebar does nothing, letter keys do nothing, clicking my response does nothing- wtf? Can someone explain what I`m supposed to do?
0
Reply
Female 127
Man. You people just don`t get it. Suicide is a problem. But I suppose that serious things will always be mocked, and people`s pain will always be poked at.

If people gained some respect for others, crap like this wouldn`t be all over the internet. Stupid, feelingless people.

Whatever, I`m done.

0
Reply
Male 425
:plays "Sugar Sugar" on his stereo:
0
Reply
Male 22
This is like the single most imaginative game ever and deserves to be recognised as such. On another note the controls suck
0
Reply
Female 850
My Best was 2min. 15 sec. WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!! :-D
0
Reply
Female 850
Well little Miss Kristen you are OVER REACTING!!! They have therepy for the depressed and lonely. So..... SHUT UP! GOD! (I dont know why people call ya sugar your a B&*%H!!) *taunts you by saying sugar kristen!*
0
Reply
Female 850
My Best was 2min. 15 sec. WOOOOO HOOOOO!!!! :-D
0
Reply
Female 15
DIE AT 859
0
Reply
Male 258
Welcome to suicide week on IAB
0
Reply
Male 59
Kristen, suicide isn`t "a real problem." It`s a wonderful thing. Anyone dumb enough to kill themselves should be dead.

Yes, I`ve lost someone to suicide. But as I said, if you`re dumb enough to kill yourself, you`re better off dead.

0
Reply
Male 425
Kristen, don`t you ever watch TV? Complain to news stations about the violence, sex, and drugs they keep on putting on there.

Why don`t you just become more like us, and just not be suprised anymore. Plus, you`re complaining on a website that doesn`t give a damn about opinions. I doubt you`re going convert anybody to your ways of living. We`re all human; we`re all phuk3d up in the head one way or another, get over it.

I`m messed up, you`re messed up, we`re all messed up; and that`s why we enjoy these things, and these kinds of websites. It supports our constitution. You HAVE read the constitution right? All the amendments and all? Then stop complaining.

0
Reply
Male 425
New personal best.

2:16

0
Reply
Male 11
1:24 :)

I`m positive 1:23 is possible, but I`ll probably stick with 1:24
I should stop speedrunning this much.

0
Reply
Female 127
Hey, Kiger, how about you learn how to be a decent human being. From your post, you`re telling me not to tell others how to live their lives- news flash, I wasn`t. I`m saying that suicide is horrible and the fact that people are making games advocating it is irresponsible and just plain bad. It`s a real problem.

And don`t call me sugar. That has to be my biggest pet peeve, people calling other people pet names to be condescending. So why don`t you take your little kid, immature self and realize what real issues are and that there are wrong ways to handle them. This "game" is one of those wrong ways.

0
Reply
Male 425
3:17 is my current best. I have an idea on some of the quickest killers.
0
Reply
Female 403
Fun!

2:30

go down to the elevator, grab the fish on the wall, then get attacked by a shark

0
Reply
Female 250
lol my fav was the pinyata
0
Reply
Male 11
This game has got to be a great stress reliever.

I got 1:57 in a few tries, then worked it down to 1:28. I wonder if under a minute would be possible.

I`m in love with whoever created this game ^^

0
Reply
Female 331
It`s OK..

I can`t work the controls, I keep going in the wrong direction.

0
Reply
Male 98
yes i died in 2:42
0
Reply
Male 98
yay i commited suicide im so proud (i think)
0
Reply
Female 39
yay!! under 2 minutes! this game is awesome ..itd be cool if thre were more levels.That fat guy is annoying, he keeps asking me about italian sandwiches.
0
Reply
Female 560
i died in 2:56 yay
0
Reply
Male 36
fun
but i barely made it
4:57
0
Reply
Female 1,492
damnit why can`t i die!!!
0
Reply
Female 105
The controls were horrible. This game was a waste.
0
Reply
Male 1,343
HA!!!

i got the best time here.

i had 0.76 seconds left the first time i died.

BAM!!!

0
Reply
Female 110
Burn yourself, nuke yourself, staple yourself smash your head in the copy room then go play with the shark.
0
Reply
Female 1,025
wth, NOOO. IIII was going to suggest this!!

darn it!

0
Reply
Female 110
You died in just 4:29 ho hum, I am not emo enough
0
Reply
Female 152
Kristen323, sugar, it isn`t that hard to you know...GET OFF THE dratING SITE...and you know..JUST IGNORE LINKS IF YOU FIND THEM OFFENSIVE...yea..don`t tell people how to live their lives..AND NEVER tell someone what they can and cannot post..

Just a little help...^^ No harm done

0
Reply
Male 542
Poor man died
0
Reply
Male 907
I kept getting wrestled by the buff b*tch..that was fun :-D
0
Reply
Female 47
I cut it pretty close..the clown was funny. XD


0
Reply
Female 509
whoohoo!
3:12
0
Reply
Male 30
well after reading all the comments i came 5th by dieing in 2:07
0
Reply
Female 127
Why is this on here?

Suicide is not funny! It is so not something to be laughed at. I can guarantee that whoever made this stupid, insensative game has never gone through the pain of losing someone to suicide.

IAB shouldn`t post this kind of very offensive, hurtful crap.

0
Reply
Female 218
I won with 7 seconds on the clock
0
Reply
Female 36
Hmmm. . . I guess that this is not work safe in more ways than some.
0
Reply
Male 1,371
3:51

yeah supplied, electrocuted, weasel things, etc, it was easy but still fun :x

0
Reply
Female 149
i died in 4:50, gotta get better!
0
Reply
Female 152
You`ve been supplied
0
Reply
Female 1,984
I didn`t die the first try. The second time I did with around 35 seconds to spare. Yippee!
0
Reply
Male 93
cool ... i died
0
Reply
Female 3
who woulda thought the bathroom would be such a death trap hahah i luv this game
0
Reply
Male 2,958
just a blank red/pink box for me....
0
Reply
Male 689
clown beat me down
0
Reply
Male 1,228
3:27

"You`ve Been Supplied!" Made this SO easy!

0
Reply
Female 12
yay i died in 4:23

the controls pissed me off

0
Reply
Female 1,784
the controllers were really annoying, and a shark ate me and I still lived!
0
Reply
Male 9
Awsome game! Just another day at the office..
0
Reply
Male 1,825
u can piss on the computer?? dam*it!!!!!!!!!!
0
Reply
Male 578
How did I not die!
I stapled myself, set myself on fire, a guy unloaded a machine gun on me, impaled by an umbrella, electricuted, pummeled by guys with baseball bats, got a chainsaw to the face, and I was still tickin!
0
Reply
Male 610
completed it in 2:35
0
Reply
Male 2,513
Any game with attack weasels is ok with me
0
Reply
Male 151
whoop! just 4 mins 56 secs :D
0
Reply
Male 732
Ha! When you set your system date to friday, you can wear casual clothes.
0
Reply
Male 732
Yeah, that was about how I did it, mntlmstrbtr, (what a name!) but instead of the hand dryer I insulted the girl at the microwave.
0
Reply
Male 151
whoop! just 4 mins 56 secs :D
0
Reply
Female 1,596
Funny game!
0
Reply
Female 106
4:19. Yeah, that was awesome!
0
Reply
Male 737
oh, I got it - I went blowtorch, microwave, hand dryer, shark, weasels, and finished it off with a handy pair of scissors. Finished in 1:38! I`ve got a screenshot but can`t figure out how to insert it here.


0
Reply
Male 51
That sux i sumitted this a week ago and was turned down
0
Reply
Male 737
wait, tom s fox, how did you do it in 1:50?
0
Reply
Male 737
almost forgot - hit on the big guy in the kitchen = 10-15, I don`t remember how much
0
Reply
Male 737
Did it in 2:57! Woo hoo! BEST DEATHS:
1. go to bathroom, into stall with clown = 10
2. in bathroom - flush toilet and then push hand dryer = 15
3. lighter + canister = 18
4. nuke bomb (trophy + microwave) = 18
5. Shark on third floor = 20
6. put umbrella on conveyor in basement, then stand at other end = 18
7. talk to god lady = 10
8. talk to god man = 10
9. weasels on top floor = 25 in all
10. pinata + guys = 15-20
0
Reply
Female 71
ahh i do everthing n it wont let me die :S:S:S lol
0
Reply
Female 223
4:49. death by pinata! hoora!
0
Reply
Male 41
HA! Did it with 14 seconds left. :-)
0
Reply
Male 732
Ha, I found out how you can kill yourself under 1:50!
0
Reply
Male 732
Cool, but needs more levels!
And I have to correct you: Talking to the people can help you, too!
0
Reply
Female 243
This fat guy kept talking to me...
And wouldnt you be dead if you stabbed yourself with sissors,and whaked yourself in the head 4 times with a stapler?
0
Reply
Male 951
Aggghhh!!! I don`t have to even play this to know this is a 4 and the best game ever. :-D :-D Oh FINALLY something creative and funny. And um, sick I guess.
0
Reply
Male 5,094
Jesus lover one and two, stapler, flame thrower, kicked in the nuts by fat guy, drinking water from mop bucket, flushing toilet and electrocuting myself. 3.55.
0
Reply
Female 9
Died at 4:24. Such an addicting game!
0
Reply
Female 407
4:06 for me. 3rd try i think though. Supply room, photocopiers, shredders, pinata, and some jesus loving guy i think. Probably are a lot more ways but didnt have time to find them all. Nice game though...haha
0
Reply
Female 86
3:10 The Weasels and The Shark helped a lot :)
0
Reply
Male 4
2:18 oh yeah
0
Reply
Male 165
hmm... i like. harder than it sounds
0
Reply
Female 173
the shark got me ahaha and the weasels
they work

and the fire and the pinata.

C=

good game

0
Reply
Female 1,065
I got my head smashed in the copy room xD
0
Reply
Male 336
Woot killed self in under 3 minutes.
0
Reply
Male 16
Fun. I died just only 3:06!!
0
Reply
Male 527
Incredibly morbid and disturbing yet increasingly addictive! The trick is not talking to anyone. That just wastes time!

Very funny outcome, xvitamin!

0
Reply
Male 17
I won in 4 mins.
0
Reply
Female 1,228
I just couldn`t die.
Wondered around for half of it tho with a pinata on my head.
That made me laugh.
0
Reply
Male 336
I did it in 3:28 Puke in the wash room, Use the staplers and photo copiers to damage you.
0
Reply
Male 991
Well I didn`t win, but I went to the meeting with a pinata on my head...
0
Reply
Female 442
I finished in the last three seconds!! Woot!!
0
Reply
Male 204
i didnt think killin yourself would be this hard.

i thought the peeing on the computers would have done it for sure

0
Reply
Male 429
How can you die faster? I just keep going to the supply room to suicide
0
Reply
Male 336
oh, it loaded.

nevermind, mom!

0
Reply
Male 2,616
wow some kids in one of my classes were just talking about this game
0
Reply
Male 336
wtf? a big square?

do we die in te game or in reality, because i dont want to die in reality!!!!

i want my mommy...

0
Reply
Male 41
Haha.

Goddamn how`d you do it? I was all bloodied up but I just wouldn`t DIE.

0
Reply
Male 1,364
hooray i died and in just 3:56
0
Reply
Male 741
Link: 5 Minutes to Kill Yourself [Rate Link] - You have 5 minutes to kill yourself before a boring meetings starts.
0
Reply