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Date: 01/28/07 02:03 AM

136 Responses to Worst Analogies Ever Written

  1. Profile photo of mattjblythe1
    mattjblythe1 Male 13-17
    149 posts
    January 27, 2007 at 7:23 pm
    Link: Worst Analogies Ever Written - Taken from high school essays.
  2. Profile photo of tulip
    tulip Female 50-59
    250 posts
    January 27, 2007 at 7:45 pm
    HAHAHA! funny!
  3. Profile photo of Shisi
    Shisi Male 18-29
    779 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:24 am
    Lmao. I thought they where pretty funny.
  4. Profile photo of KoalaMeatPie
    KoalaMeatPie Male 18-29
    2578 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:28 am
    I should thrown in a Few of my Ex GF`s 9Named Cathy Gagnon. Be my guest for whatever you want to do using that name) (I`m not resposible)

    "My heart is a dark dungeon in a Dark castle with thick cold stone walls"

  5. Profile photo of meganopoullu
    meganopoullu Male 18-29
    167 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:31 am
    thiss is my second drrunk psost!"
  6. Profile photo of -NeonCarrot-
    -NeonCarrot- Male 13-17
    1496 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:33 am
    #3 Wins.
  7. Profile photo of BPP4GLC
    BPP4GLC Male 18-29
    36 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:37 am
    You have to admit, these are pretty creative
  8. Profile photo of phreakphit
    phreakphit Male 18-29
    98 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:43 am
    These aren`t taken from high school essays. As the actual page says, it came out of a contest, and adults wrote them. It`s from the Washington Post, and their Style Invitational contest.
  9. Profile photo of R_U_Kidding
    R_U_Kidding Male 18-29
    4246 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:43 am
    Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

    That`s actually quite clever. Especially compared to the "six-foot three-inch tree."

  10. Profile photo of dudeman1st
    dudeman1st Male 30-39
    1354 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:45 am
    These are pretty funny.I especially liked "Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze"
  11. Profile photo of derangedingo
    derangedingo Male 13-17
    810 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:54 am
    i liked em.
    McBride fell 12 stories and hit the ground like a hefty bag full of vegetable soup.
  12. Profile photo of Scotchy
    Scotchy Male 18-29
    592 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:18 am
    yea, some of those were pretty good, don`t know why they are in the "worst" category.
  13. Profile photo of SpoonFork
    SpoonFork Male 30-39
    1265 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:25 am
    Some of those were intentionally ironic or lame, I`m sure.
  14. Profile photo of BakaNeko728
    BakaNeko728 Female 18-29
    665 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:34 am
    wow, glad to know that teachers are doing their job...
  15. Profile photo of Delfette
    Delfette Female 18-29
    173 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:34 am
    The ones I had to suffer through in that damn Honors Compostition course were much worse.
  16. Profile photo of Pinkies
    Pinkies Female 13-17
    679 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:42 am
    Lol...

    "her eyes were like two circles with dots in the center."

    Lovin it lovin it

  17. Profile photo of TheEx
    TheEx Female 13-17
    155 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:42 am
    "Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center."

    Heh heh, I couldn`t stop laughing at that one.

  18. Profile photo of pat125
    pat125 Male 18-29
    756 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:52 am
    The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

    ROFL!

  19. Profile photo of Kaizer250
    Kaizer250 Male 18-29
    777 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 4:10 am
    This post wilst forever remain upon this site`s Top Rated list.
    So mote it be.

    ooooOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm

  20. Profile photo of upendy
    upendy Female 13-17
    1211 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 5:06 am
    John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  21. Profile photo of chikoori
    chikoori Female 18-29
    1011 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 5:28 am
    My favourite: The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn`t.
  22. Profile photo of Volaverunt
    Volaverunt Male 13-17
    160 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 6:37 am
    Love school essays
  23. Profile photo of Will-O-Wisp
    Will-O-Wisp Female 18-29
    458 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 6:53 am
    Actually, yes, some of those are pretty good. Particularly for a humor essay. Even the hummingbird one could work if you added the right surrounding sentences. However, as a whole, it was pretty funny. :)
  24. Profile photo of DragonSageX
    DragonSageX Male 18-29
    193 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 7:00 am
    The first one already had me laughing, so did number 5...But I was most surprised to see that this thing has a rating of 4.0 that`s like...rare right?
  25. Profile photo of Kainonis
    Kainonis Male 18-29
    243 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 7:06 am
    XD Haha, this is fantastic.
  26. Profile photo of lolakitty72
    lolakitty72 Female 30-39
    1972 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 7:09 am
    The "second tall man" was best.
  27. Profile photo of BigBonny
    BigBonny Male 18-29
    2216 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 7:18 am
    The way a bowling ball wouldnt, that one is fine, and witty. Russell Beland has a few entries there though.
  28. Profile photo of FLB
    FLB Female 18-29
    1229 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 7:36 am
    " He was as tall as a 6 ft 3inch tree"
    that just cracked me up for some reason, very funny!!
  29. Profile photo of Bennyd
    Bennyd Male 13-17
    1092 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 8:00 am
    Things like this always crack me up. awesome.
  30. Profile photo of maples
    maples Male 13-17
    1217 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 8:33 am
    hahaha, the "what kids think about love" one was a hell lot funnier XD (go to the archives, its first)
  31. Profile photo of siny_toy_gun
    siny_toy_gun Female 13-17
    267 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 8:46 am
    i dont know why but the one about the hefty bag made me crack up hahaha
  32. Profile photo of Dukit
    Dukit Male 13-17
    78 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 8:55 am
    "His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free" Is my favorite.
  33. Profile photo of phatzoma
    phatzoma Male 18-29
    312 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:17 am
    Yeah, like derangegingo said. LMFAO at that one!!! (while trying to imagine a hefty bag full of soup doing exactly that!)
  34. Profile photo of jvcc
    jvcc Female 13-17
    354 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:30 am
    I love the one about the lovers racing towards eachother like freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:30 PM.
  35. Profile photo of LPAkira
    LPAkira Male 13-17
    213 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:33 am
    I think "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." is too amazing to be real. That is just hilarious. I can see someone putting that in a school assignment and the teacher not even getting mad - assuming he or she had a good sense of humor.
  36. Profile photo of Rich5678
    Rich5678 Male 13-17
    131 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:40 am
    The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

    well duh!

  37. Profile photo of TJAW
    TJAW Male 13-17
    610 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:54 am
    "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn`t"\

    LMAO!!

  38. Profile photo of DBtG
    DBtG Male 18-29
    330 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:34 am
    "gone and unnoticed like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can".

    Genius.

  39. Profile photo of lexmex
    lexmex Female 18-29
    458 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:38 am
    isnt this a repost?
    oh well i liked this one the most

    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

    intentionally stupid im sure but HILARIOUS!!

  40. Profile photo of Pikachu42
    Pikachu42 Female 18-29
    1492 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:46 am
    that my friend was bad
  41. Profile photo of hannah_h
    hannah_h Female 13-17
    155 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:49 am
    On 1/28/2007 7:09:05 AM lolakitty72 wrote: The "second tall man" was best.
    I thought that one was actually good.
  42. Profile photo of neeley2009
    neeley2009 Male 18-29
    142 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:52 am
    The bowling ball one reminds me of Douglas Adams...
  43. Profile photo of 42467
    42467 Male 18-29
    743 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 11:06 am
    best thing on iab ever......
  44. Profile photo of MinLokWat
    MinLokWat Male 30-39
    8 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 11:15 am
    Let`s try this again people.

    As phreakphit pointed out already, these were not "taken from high school essays" but are from The Washington Post`s weekly humor contest from the Sunday Style section.

    For those who figured that they were too cute / clever / (un)intentionally ironic - that`s why.

  45. Profile photo of thecranberry
    thecranberry Male 18-29
    731 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 11:34 am
    i love you neeley. that what i was going to say, it`s freaking plagerism! the analogy is: "the little boat floated across the pond much as a bowling ball would`nt". the douglas adams quote: "the ship hung in the sky much the same way bricks don`t."
  46. Profile photo of HaruHaru
    HaruHaru Female 13-17
    1065 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 12:02 pm
    "From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you`re on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30."

    -These kids are pure genius..

  47. Profile photo of omgwtfho
    omgwtfho Female 18-29
    218 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 12:02 pm
    The fact they were written sarcastically makes them less funny. It would be better if high school students actually wrote them
  48. Profile photo of misscutieroo
    misscutieroo Female 18-29
    1944 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 12:26 pm
    no i think these are funny and original!
  49. Profile photo of JAXLEY
    JAXLEY Male 18-29
    988 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 12:32 pm
    as long as it was intentional, i think this one is really clever:

    "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

  50. Profile photo of dragonrice
    dragonrice Male 18-29
    632 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 12:35 pm
    That one made me laugh.

    "The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. "

  51. Profile photo of PhoenixPhata
    PhoenixPhata Male 13-17
    280 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 12:56 pm
    Simply because it reminds you of something doesn`t mean it`s plagiarism. It`s even quite possible that the author in question has never heard of Douglas Adams in which case even if it was the exact same phrase it`s simply independent discovery of hilarity.

    In other news, "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." Pure brilliance.

  52. Profile photo of swtdreams285
    swtdreams285 Female 18-29
    1408 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 1:13 pm
    By reading this, I think my IQ dropped a couple of points :-P
  53. Profile photo of r0adk1ll
    r0adk1ll Male 18-29
    27 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 1:23 pm
    His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
    -- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

    Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
    -- Russell Beland, Springfield

    lmao

  54. Profile photo of Aramil
    Aramil Male 18-29
    315 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 1:26 pm
    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn`t.

    That`s actually pretty good.

  55. Profile photo of xDDitsmee
    xDDitsmee Female 18-29
    266 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 1:47 pm
    Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."


    I liked this one.

  56. Profile photo of Galileo53
    Galileo53 Male 13-17
    731 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 1:49 pm
    this is fantastic! i laughed all the way
  57. Profile photo of nicole_xo
    nicole_xo Female 13-17
    2552 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:25 pm
    Lmao yay funny stuff.
  58. Profile photo of kurry
    kurry Male 30-39
    25 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:38 pm
    "...exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn`t.", or to quote the original as written by Douglas Adams, "...they hung in the air exactly the way bricks don`t." -Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. Whadda rip.
  59. Profile photo of Izzy67
    Izzy67 Male 13-17
    158 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:48 pm
    #4 is the best XD
  60. Profile photo of thesupreme1
    thesupreme1 Male 13-17
    148 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 2:58 pm
    I`ve found a new website to kill time with.

    The love one is awesome.

  61. Profile photo of thesupreme1
    thesupreme1 Male 13-17
    148 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:01 pm
    Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
  62. Profile photo of beernotbombs
    beernotbombs Male 18-29
    144 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 3:57 pm
    McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
    that was pretty good
  63. Profile photo of Trizz
    Trizz Male 18-29
    1383 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 4:29 pm
    "The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease." WTF?!?!?
  64. Profile photo of xxkangrixx
    xxkangrixx Male 18-29
    306 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 4:47 pm
    lol...one of my favorites is:
    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\[email protected] but gets T:\[email protected] by mistake
    -- Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills

    lol..

  65. Profile photo of mushslipvayn
    mushslipvayn Male 13-17
    146 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 5:19 pm
    Haha those were really funny!
  66. Profile photo of JAK-STEEL
    JAK-STEEL Male 13-17
    1364 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 5:29 pm
    The best was "He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree." hahahha
  67. Profile photo of MechBFP
    MechBFP Male 18-29
    813 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 6:11 pm
    "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
    -- Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala." lol
  68. Profile photo of sanrio908
    sanrio908 Female 13-17
    29 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 6:13 pm
    its sooooo much funnier when you`re in high school
  69. Profile photo of canaryellow
    canaryellow Female 13-17
    422 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 6:21 pm
    hehe, clever but kinda old
  70. Profile photo of SPrinkZ
    SPrinkZ Male 18-29
    2283 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 8:08 pm
    Oh my God, this is a funny topic that Europeans and Americans can BOTH enjoy without mentioning that Europeans are tea sipping pussies.
  71. Profile photo of lemurarmy
    lemurarmy Male 18-29
    349 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 8:57 pm
    "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn`t" whats wrong with that one? seems accurate to me.
  72. Profile photo of Myst1278
    Myst1278 Male 13-17
    23 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:05 pm
    It definatly sounds like some of these were MADE to be funny.
  73. Profile photo of shizzaster
    shizzaster Male 13-17
    1866 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:41 pm
    Those are brilliant.
    Those analagies are as smart as when you open up a pickle jar and then take a pickle and try to cut it but it smells bad.
  74. Profile photo of Tegeno
    Tegeno Male 13-17
    1066 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:52 pm
    "Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. "

    LOL

  75. Profile photo of MRMike
    MRMike Male 13-17
    217 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 9:59 pm
    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\[email protected] but gets T:\[email protected] by mistake
    Bua HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
    *Ahem* what?
  76. Profile photo of artistchick7
    artistchick7 Female 18-29
    963 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:42 pm
    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\[email protected] but gets T:\[email protected] by mistake
    -- Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills


    ROFL :-D

  77. Profile photo of jhonmayer1
    jhonmayer1 Male 18-29
    1289 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:49 pm
    BWAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA that was great!
    the jeopardy one was the greatest!
  78. Profile photo of zep fan
    zep fan Female 18-29
    492 posts
    January 28, 2007 at 10:53 pm
    Those were hilarious!
    I liked the train one.
  79. Profile photo of kikikitkat
    kikikitkat Female 13-17
    152 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 12:15 am
    "Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
    -- Jennifer Hart, Arlington"

    Hehehe. :-D

  80. Profile photo of tourettes
    tourettes Male 18-29
    957 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 12:29 am
    These were all funny like that dumb fat kid pretty much everyone knows whose spit is always more white than yours, even if he Isn`t!

    Oh and only primitive people watch Jeopardy at 7:30! I watch it at 7 o clock ONLY! If i were to move, that would be one of my main concerns, when Jeopardy would come on!

    in southern california Jeopardy comes on right at 7! woohoo!

  81. Profile photo of thewabbit
    thewabbit Male 13-17
    366 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 3:25 am
    it might have been funnier if it wasn`t the same 3-4 people writing them all.
  82. Profile photo of IkeRay
    IkeRay Male 18-29
    2704 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 10:36 am
    The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

    the best one EVER!

  83. Profile photo of sprink99
    sprink99 Male 30-39
    393 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 10:39 am
    This is proper creative writing, a bit of imagination for a change. I`d read a book by Russel Belland of springfield.
  84. Profile photo of Igmo
    Igmo Male 18-29
    1263 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 10:41 am
    LMFAO! XD
  85. Profile photo of takerrules
    takerrules Male 18-29
    236 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 11:43 am
    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\[email protected] but gets T:\[email protected] by mistake just...magical
  86. Profile photo of RichJames88
    RichJames88 Male 18-29
    74 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 12:43 pm
    if i was a teacher and i saw this, i`d give an A
  87. Profile photo of catcatdog
    catcatdog Female 13-17
    110 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 2:03 pm
    John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
    I loved that one! :D
  88. Profile photo of Indigo_M
    Indigo_M Male 18-29
    354 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 2:51 pm
    Worst? Those are some of the best analogies I`ve ever seen!
  89. Profile photo of xRevengex
    xRevengex Female 18-29
    419 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 4:28 pm
    Dr Zoid I laughed at that too!
    The hacker one made me laugh the most.
  90. Profile photo of TBirdVBall
    TBirdVBall Female 18-29
    519 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 4:49 pm
    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
    -- Jennifer Hart, Arlington
    They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan`s teeth.
    -- Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.

    Best ones. XD

  91. Profile photo of SilentxEm
    SilentxEm Female 60-69
    670 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 5:22 pm
    Actually, some of these are pretty good... if you have any sense of humor, I mean.
    :D
  92. Profile photo of boredest1
    boredest1 Male 18-29
    556 posts
    January 29, 2007 at 7:29 pm
    Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like"Second Tall Man."
    -- Russell Beland, Springfield

    The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
    -- Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.

    Priceless. I swear ive seen this list before somewhere though

  93. Profile photo of Voxifera
    Voxifera Female 13-17
    29 posts
    January 30, 2007 at 12:33 am
    I loved this one... And agreed!!

    From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you`re on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
    -- Roy Ashley, Washington

  94. Profile photo of shinu
    shinu Male 18-29
    1387 posts
    January 30, 2007 at 9:33 am
    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\[email protected] but gets T:\[email protected] by mistake. hahahahaha
  95. Profile photo of sims2luver
    sims2luver Female 13-17
    797 posts
    January 30, 2007 at 8:54 pm
    Idiots!
  96. Profile photo of ardor
    ardor Male 18-29
    2 posts
    January 30, 2007 at 9:00 pm
    *Best analogies ever written
  97. Profile photo of BABYWENDY
    BABYWENDY Female 18-29
    152 posts
    January 31, 2007 at 6:50 pm
    these are great!!
  98. Profile photo of Mbirdgurl
    Mbirdgurl Female 13-17
    920 posts
    January 31, 2007 at 8:30 pm
    Most were written by guys XD
  99. Profile photo of gotboost88
    gotboost88 Male 18-29
    78 posts
    February 1, 2007 at 11:13 pm
    Russell Beland really owned that contest
  100. Profile photo of RadRockette
    RadRockette Female 13-17
    655 posts
    February 2, 2007 at 9:02 pm
    LOVED THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  101. Profile photo of liamthebof
    liamthebof Male 13-17
    106 posts
    February 3, 2007 at 2:45 pm
    The the night was a black as something that is very black.
  102. Profile photo of liamthebof
    liamthebof Male 13-17
    106 posts
    February 3, 2007 at 2:46 pm
    The night was as black as something that is white isnt
  103. Profile photo of poematik13
    poematik13 Male 13-17
    21 posts
    February 3, 2007 at 8:09 pm
    lol..."Her beautiful hair glistened like nose hair after a sneeze"

    LOLLERSKATES

  104. Profile photo of NumbuhZero
    NumbuhZero Female 18-29
    878 posts
    February 4, 2007 at 9:23 pm
    I laughed so hard I injurd myself.
  105. Profile photo of TaterTotz173
    TaterTotz173 Female 13-17
    140 posts
    February 15, 2007 at 9:37 pm
    he was as tall as a... six-foot-three-inch tree.
  106. Profile photo of ImNoGod
    ImNoGod Male 18-29
    1149 posts
    February 22, 2007 at 8:36 pm
    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
  107. Profile photo of Oceana
    Oceana Female 18-29
    27 posts
    February 26, 2007 at 1:42 pm
    It got me at "McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."
  108. Profile photo of ragragdoll
    ragragdoll Female 18-29
    88 posts
    March 20, 2007 at 5:58 pm
    liamthebof: The night was as black as something that is white isnt

    Haha cute.

  109. Profile photo of schmexie
    schmexie Female 13-17
    351 posts
    April 10, 2007 at 10:26 am
    i like the "second tall man" one, i thought that was pretty clever actually.
  110. Profile photo of RadRockette
    RadRockette Female 13-17
    655 posts
    April 24, 2007 at 5:10 pm
    hahaha i luv em
  111. Profile photo of flyingpixiex
    flyingpixiex Female 18-29
    152 posts
    May 1, 2007 at 3:15 pm
    they are freaking genious
  112. Profile photo of Prowler2885
    Prowler2885 Male 18-29
    425 posts
    May 23, 2007 at 7:44 pm
    My computer has a synthesized voice; so, making it read some of those was pretty funny.

    Especially "McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."

    I gotta see a video of that. You know, a bag of vegetable soup fall from that high. Which reminds me; has anyone posted the "David Letterman`s Top Ten Things to See Fall From 7 Stories" yet?

  113. Profile photo of CaptainPat
    CaptainPat Male 18-29
    1584 posts
    June 14, 2007 at 4:19 pm
    I went to my fridge and got a Dr Pepper just to see if the dot was on the can. It`s not. Wow those were hilarious its to hard to pick a favorite. Oh and Jeopardy has always been on at 7:00 here.
  114. Profile photo of ADRUNKHOBO
    ADRUNKHOBO Male 18-29
    295 posts
    June 22, 2007 at 4:04 am
    I couln`t stop lol... (that`s laughing out loud)
  115. Profile photo of LUVPEACE90
    LUVPEACE90 Female 13-17
    348 posts
    July 7, 2007 at 2:15 pm
    LUVD EM ALL
    ROFL
  116. Profile photo of idolmonkey
    idolmonkey Female 18-29
    330 posts
    July 7, 2007 at 6:10 pm
    I don`t think they`re the worst... They actually make sense. THey`re brilliant and hilarious. IMO
  117. Profile photo of texasdg
    texasdg Female 30-39
    4 posts
    July 11, 2007 at 12:08 am
    "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

    Too funny.

  118. Profile photo of i-am-emo
    i-am-emo Female 70 & Over
    1264 posts
    July 13, 2007 at 9:22 pm
    terry pratchet does the BEST analogies
  119. Profile photo of mise
    mise Female 18-29
    583 posts
    July 21, 2007 at 11:13 am
    Russell Beland is pretty good at making the worst analogies...
  120. Profile photo of unreedemed
    unreedemed Male 13-17
    544 posts
    August 8, 2007 at 3:56 am
    Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\[email protected] but gets T:\[email protected] by mistake

    i totally get what he`s trying to say. spot on, spot on.

  121. Profile photo of sophiemichel
    sophiemichel Female 13-17
    217 posts
    August 27, 2007 at 1:01 pm
    "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

    Most of these are deliberately weird - I think they`re good.

  122. Profile photo of jinxiejae
    jinxiejae Female 30-39
    2927 posts
    August 29, 2007 at 7:05 pm
    i kinda like the bowling ball one.
  123. Profile photo of slushy50254
    slushy50254 Male 13-17
    151 posts
    January 5, 2008 at 3:28 pm
    lol i feel the hacker one happened to me once... only once
  124. Profile photo of Terp00
    Terp00 Male 13-17
    46 posts
    January 31, 2008 at 12:45 pm
    lol
    "The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."
  125. Profile photo of xmeyo
    xmeyo Female 18-29
    19 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 2:23 pm
    i thought it said worst apologies ever written... i was expecting apology letters or something
  126. Profile photo of adelco67
    adelco67 Male 13-17
    13 posts
    April 15, 2008 at 4:59 pm
    My favorite "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."
  127. Profile photo of smartdude00
    smartdude00 Male 13-17
    21 posts
    April 28, 2008 at 8:48 pm
    I write stuff like this all the time on midterms as a form of protest if the essay topic sucks. (referring to migrating geese as "avian angels", etc.)
  128. Profile photo of ball_dogg_49
    ball_dogg_49 Male 18-29
    444 posts
    May 21, 2008 at 9:54 pm
    The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. LoL
  129. Profile photo of DDylan
    DDylan Male 13-17
    98 posts
    August 18, 2008 at 1:53 pm
    the link didn`t work for me: get it here

    http://www.etni.org.il/farside/analogies...

    if it doesn`t for you either

  130. Profile photo of kmitch717
    kmitch717 Male 13-17
    207 posts
    August 31, 2008 at 9:13 pm
    Well it seems more like they were intentionally made ridiculous and stupid, which actually makes them better.
  131. Profile photo of trashcan7
    trashcan7 Male 13-17
    564 posts
    October 10, 2008 at 10:05 pm
    Wooww!!! This was so funny! I was literally laughing so loud!
    thanks to DDylan for providing the solution to the broken link at http://www.etni.org.il/farside/analogies.htm
    Pass it on!
  132. Profile photo of Powerhouse83
    Powerhouse83 Male 18-29
    47 posts
    November 15, 2008 at 7:00 am
    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn`t.
  133. Profile photo of deftonepiper
    deftonepiper Male 30-39
    4 posts
    December 8, 2008 at 10:26 am
    link doesn`t work
  134. Profile photo of mchrist1990
    mchrist1990 Male 18-29
    63 posts
    June 1, 2009 at 11:32 pm
    some of those were actually really, really good analogies. but the others were quite hilarious.
  135. Profile photo of Rauron
    Rauron Male 13-17
    563 posts
    June 9, 2009 at 6:54 pm
    I would totally use ones like these oO
    If they`re accidental, then the writers are dumb. If they`re intentional, then the writers are brilliant.
  136. Profile photo of Samsonite219
    Samsonite219 Male 18-29
    703 posts
    October 5, 2009 at 3:07 am
    how are these worst? clearly these are the best

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