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if it doesn`t for you either
Most of these are deliberately weird - I think they`re good.
i totally get what he`s trying to say. spot on, spot on.
Especially "McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."
I gotta see a video of that. You know, a bag of vegetable soup fall from that high. Which reminds me; has anyone posted the "David Letterman`s Top Ten Things to See Fall From 7 Stories" yet?
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you`re on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. -- Roy Ashley, Washington
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.-- Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
Priceless. I swear ive seen this list before somewhere though
Best ones. XD
the best one EVER!
Oh and only primitive people watch Jeopardy at 7:30! I watch it at 7 o clock ONLY! If i were to move, that would be one of my main concerns, when Jeopardy would come on!
in southern california Jeopardy comes on right at 7! woohoo!
The love one is awesome.
I liked this one.
That`s actually pretty good.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.-- Russell Beland, Springfield
In other news, "Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." Pure brilliance.
"The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. "
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
-These kids are pure genius..
As phreakphit pointed out already, these were not "taken from high school essays" but are from The Washington Post`s weekly humor contest from the Sunday Style section.
For those who figured that they were too cute / clever / (un)intentionally ironic - that`s why.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
intentionally stupid im sure but HILARIOUS!!
Heh heh, I couldn`t stop laughing at that one.
"her eyes were like two circles with dots in the center."
Lovin it lovin it
That`s actually quite clever. Especially compared to the "six-foot three-inch tree."
"My heart is a dark dungeon in a Dark castle with thick cold stone walls"