Reasons Why its Better to be a Man

Submitted by: san111 10 years ago in Funny
http://intensehumour.blogspot.com/2006/10/reasons-why-its-better-to-be-man.html

Yep.
There are 121 comments:
Male 1
WellCOME
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MAIN KHILAFAT CHOOK)SHOP # NO (165)
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Female 815
Meh ok ok. We is equal. -hopes everyone goes with that and shuts up about sexist racist bollocks-
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Female 815
-Has epileptic fit because she sees men as nothing more than a monkey who wishes it wasnt one- .... -oh yeah and they are ok for making love to i guess-
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Female 268
aqausixia, u identify with at least 30 of those things?!?! i could not even relate to 1. then again i am extremely girlie. i dont leave the house until i look perfect, meanwhile my brother just throws something on. unless he is going on a date and then it takes him forever to choose something to wear and he always asks my opinion and my mom`s opinion. but he burbs and stuff that i would never do. ew!
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Male 1,079
WTF??
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Female 1,397
Basically its a sexist racist world and unless your a white man, your screwed.
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Female 415
that list was great! Is it bad that I identify with at least 30 of those and I am a chic? mabey I will wear a skirt instead of jeans tonight
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Female 60
click on the link that says 30 reasons why women are better!
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Male 1,263
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
lol not for my freind
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Male 159
Look, I am bored, and the list is damn funny.

nuff said

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Female 706
Volcom, get out, you fail at life for posting serious crap on IAB comment sections.
^ I find this comment to be amusing because it is just as m,uch "crap" and a waste of space than anything Volcom said. As is this comment.
But whatever. Volcom can say what she wants, she`s just trying to look out for her sisters.
There are some men out there that treat women like second class citizens, and there are some discriminitory situations (for example, the fact that on average men make more than women for the same job) and sometimes women feel the need to stand up for womankind. There`s nothing wrong with that.
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Male 51
the comments are by far funnier, but they just got messy towards the end.

men are from earth. women are from earth. deal with it!

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Female 7
i just want to add on ething to this already prolific discussion: humour can be dangerous. anyone remember that whole debate about the cartoons making fun of mohammed? serious violence insued from that in the middle east. i am not comparing this discussion to that, but it`s just to say that humour is not as innocent as it may seem. it can expose the basest prejudices of a group or a person and it can be used as an oppression tool, not only against women like in this case but also against other groups. now as for me, i didn`t think the list was funny only because I know that most of the things aren`t true and to find something funny you have to recognize what is mocked, and i don`t. so it was something of a waste of time for me.
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Male 195
Bah, that`s why you lighten up and just take it as a job. It is the rantings of a little mind taking pride in his own nature. Let him reveal in it, and if you feel less somehow for his pride, make your own damn list why females kick ass.
Stop beating the hell out of any idea with massive over-anylzation.
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Female 511
Know what`d be an amusing comparison to all these "it`s just a joke" people? Let`s make it not a list of why it`s better to be male than female, but rather why it`s better to be a neonazi than black. I`ll start - your dogma comes complete with ample opportunities to kill whoever you don`t like.

Now, should anyone feel the desire to say "that`s not cool" - lighten up, it`s just a joke!

As for the entire thing? Most of it only applies to stereotypical males and females. So any girl or guy that doesn`t fit the Barbie and Ken mold won`t find it amusing. Especially since things like this have been going around for YEARS. And they`re really boring now.

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Female 174
"Volcom, get out, you fail at life for posting serious crap on IAB comment sections."

I know I know. I`m going...

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Male 2,605
I don`t consider you a feminist, VolcomStoner, as women have been repressed in the past and you are merely stating historical fact. However, I can see why some people would consider you such, and it`s mainly in the wording. I agree male repression of females is vile, but there`s no need to be poetic when describing it as "the pestilence". It is what it is; no need to be rhetorical about it.

While I`m not a sociology student, I took it a few semesters ago and disliked it primarily because the book was so depressingly basic (I took great issue with the author`s definition of a theory) and the teacher was a goof (who put the author`s definition of a theory on the test...). I made A`s on all my tests but a C in the class because I couldn`t be arsed to write an essay with a pre-selected topic. I`ve since made up the GPA that was lost, but it was still a disappointing class. Um, I`m not sure why I brought that up.

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Male 2,605
"however if only guys can think about sex 90% of the day..."

Whoever said that wasn`t following any stretch of the scientific method or basic mathematics and I assure you it`s false. Let`s see... 90% of 24 hours (a day) is 21.6 hours, or 21 hours and 36 minutes. I`m only awake, say, 15 hours a day, so for the other 5 hours and 24 minutes, I`d have to be dreaming about sex. Dreaming occurs primarily (only?) during REM sleep, which lasts around an hour and a half maximum, leaving 3 hours and 54 minutes I`m not able to even think about sex. According to this data, I`d have to be thinking about sex every waking moment, in addition to dreaming about it, in order to be thinking about sex a little over 84% of the day. I ask, does this sound reasonable to you?

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Male 813
Volcom, get out, you fail at life for posting serious crap on IAB comment sections.
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Female 174
Overmann, thank you for the constructive criticism on my quote. I had never considered that viewpoint, but it makes sense.
While I do not share your view on inequality, I appreciate your tone. As a sociology student, I like to believe I am knowledgeable and well-founded in my perspective. I also respect your right to your own point of view. But I do not find that any of this makes the link any less offensive or any more humorous. (And for the record I am not offended by your use of the word "mankind" though it does have a bit of a misogynistic undertone, I am not such the "stereotypical raging feminist" as I have been made out to be by those people who are just biting at the bit to attack one).
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Female 174
Since most of you have responded to me based on the assumptions you have made from labeling me a feminist as opposed to what I actually said, I am going to assume that you just want to be controversial. You obviously have issues that are misdirected at me. I will not address your comments.
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Female 82
Mostly true...however if only guys can think about sex 90% of the day...I`m in serious trouble.
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Male 55
I respect women but this is still funny anything i find on the internet that isn`t on the news i laugh at because it means nothing. Not that many people were there helping women getting their rights on here. Have you ever thought about stop fighting over pointless things on the internet and going out into the real world and doing something? Just debating on here is showing that you don`t care enough to get up off the seat and do something about it. I see people fight over many things on the internet and I laugh because I think they are too lazy that all they can do is fight on the internet. I know a little off topic but I`m satanist and i still respect women as who they are . The list was on a website called INTENSE HUMOUR... Can`t you just take a joke they say all that stuff and fighting over it is just saying that you think its all true. If you let it go then it wouldn`t mean anything.

VolcomStoner
Go out there and do somethng instead of worry about this link. some people...

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Male 95
96. We do not have periods.
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Male 2,605
I agree it must suck that women are currently among the repressed (not oppressed, that is too strong of language and suggests an unreasonable passion), but come time, men will slowly fall in education and while there may be a bloody fight, women will come out on top. I wonder, then, if feminism, a supposed catalyst for equal rights, will opt to bring mens` rights to equal level? Will feminism then become obsolete?
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Male 2,605
Next, someone should have told you some time ago that the world is naturally sexist: we, the human race (or mankind if you prefer; I figured you didn`t), are comprised of females and males, each with our own biological and psychological advantages and disadvantages, ways of living, mindset, and opinions on... well, nearly everything. There is no way we can ever be truly equal. We can lessen the difference between the sexes, but the simple fact remains we will never be equal.

Because of this inherent inequality, one sex will always politically, socially, and generally dominate the other, whether it be men over women or women over men. While I don`t personally feel this is fair, nothing can be done about it. I wouldn`t want to see women run the world but it looks like it`s heading that way with female college enrollment exceeding male enrollment. (There is a 15:2 ratio of women to men in the math class for which I tutor.)

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Male 2,605
Dear Lord Who art in Heaven, forgive me for getting involved in another feminism debate...

VolcomStoner, first of all, I disagree with the quote:

"Those who don`t know their history are doomed to repeat it."

I feel that anyone is doomed to repeat history by virtue of the fact that different individuals are each contributing their own perspectives and experiences to each and every new situation. Essentially, anyone who does not possess the same wisdom as those before are doomed to repeat their mistakes. Time alone changes nothing.

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Male 393
feminists* sry, like i said, i was rushing
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Male 393
feminits are the most annoying people in the drating world. You talk about all of your drating opression and poo but you dont want equality, or so it seems because if there was some movie, commercial, show, whatever that had a part where somebody was cleaning a floor. if it was a woman, somebody would get pissed, if it was a guy and someone got pissed then there called sexist.

sorry if this is sounding really badly typed and thrown together but i am sort of in a rush here.


pretty much what i am trying to say is that if there is a woman doing something "degrading to them" such as ohhh cleaning a toilet in a movie, then the feminists would all get offended and cause problems. If it was a guy cleaning it then if some men decided to complain then they would all be called sexist for noticing it. its a pretty fcked up system.

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Male 3,631
And where`s all the Feminist outrage against the book of Islam, by the way? In sura IV, verse 38, it states "Men stand superior to women... those whose perverseness ye fear, admonish them and remove them into bedchambers and beat them; but if they submit to you, then do not seek a way against them; verily, God is high and great." Ha ha ha, and you think THIS stereotypical HUMOR expose of MEN is sexist against WOMEN! It`s no wonder you underwent such oppression for so many years...
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Female 1,407
Ridiculously funny...you men are so full of themselves...where`s the womens` list, huh?(I`ll bet we`ll have more than 95 reasons) ~_^
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Male 3,631
So did you hear that from Volcom Stoner women? If you are not offended by this, then you are IGNORANT! Classic. I say it is our obligation to MAINTAIN this oppression - for then we will only be making good on what has already been accused of us! And isn`t it the seminole act of compassion in a relationship, when men allow women to believe that they have been right about something all along?
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Male 78
Wow... so yeah, the website was funny. I just felt the need to refute a feminist online. Have a nice day :-)
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Male 78
Erm... VolcomStoner, have you taken a look around lately? Statistics show that there are now more women in post-secondary institutions than men. Girls are doing better in school, and there are more women entering the workplace than before. Also, ever since the civil rights and feminist movements, women and blacks (if that`s the rights movement you`re talking about) have both become influential players in politics and the economy of western democracies. I know they aren`t as equal as they`d like to be, but they are far better off than before. The only reason why feminists like you exist is that you can`t just let it go and move on, you have to dredge things up and hope that enough people feel sorry for you. Instead of focusing on pain and suffering and claiming you`re going backwards, why not focus on the women that made a difference so that people like you can enjoy the freedoms that you have today?
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Male 1,406
See, neither of us have it better, because we are completely used to what we have. Women are fine with worrying about their periods, they`ve taken it is a common fact they can`t avoid. We men are used to the fact that sex drives us to do everything we do, and we`re used to it.
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Male 561
^^^srry i have been dancing with jack daniels another reason its good to be a guy you can drink your ass off and no 1 cares
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Male 561
oh they forgot gossiping about every F*cking body who the hell cares if she said that or if she looked like that or if she made that face let it f*cking go
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Male 536
65. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

=)

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Male 888
Hahah, oh man, funny stuff.

Oh.. uh.. yeah. This isn`t a study or anything. Its a joke. Its in the FUNNY section. That is all.

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Female 174
I would also like to note that not all women are educated about the repression in our past and the suffering endured to bring us to where we are today. That is why you have girls on here saying that they are not offended.

It is a sad fact that in the face of the new generations, we seem to have forgotten the struggles of our past. This is not only true for the feminist movement, but also for the civil rights movement.

"Those who don`t know their history are doomed to repeat it."

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Female 172
I didn`t even realize the numbers.

*shrugs*

When I see something like "We don`t have to clean the toilet", I don`t think of it as a gesture of pride, really. More of embarrassment. Imagine a man`s lack of capacity to clean his own toilet. Sad. :(

Monk on the other hand...

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Male 55
For all the people who are saying "why didn`t they round it off to 100": I`ve noticed that several of you are women, which feeds the fact that you have absurd attention to detail. I didn`t even look at the numbers.
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Female 174
"Ha ha,that was good.Damm feminazis ruining it."Its just a joke"."

"this is funny as poo im soo amused at how all the chicks are offended..."

That`s because you are ignorant and clearly haven`t an incling as to why a woman would be and should be offended. Any woman who is conscious of her oppression will find these remarks to symbolize more than a mere jest. It is an affront and a distasteful reminder of the pestilence of patriarchal oppression.

I am not implying that a man does not have a right to be secure and confident in his identity, but that is not what "Reasons why it is Better to be a Man" portrays. I would not very well go around making lists of "reasons why it is better to be white" or "reasons why it is better to be judeo-christian". It is not in good humor to take delight in mocking the plight of others.

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Female 97
will u STOP calling him sexist? its a JOKE
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Female 97
hey. im a chic and i CRACKED up. this is FUNNY and TRUE. stop tryin to defend urselvs...its just humor.
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Male 447
tooo dam true!!!!hahahah XD man there smart
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Female 155
Despite how sexist and cliche all of that was, I stopped reading at number 52, even though I was mildly interested.

52. You never have to clean a toilet
This was simply stupid, ridiculous, POINTLESS, and extremely sexist. Why is it (in cliches) that women always clean the toilet, while men sit on the couch watching the game drinking beer?

Sexist cliches aren`t funny (I mean funny as in comedy) they are merely a waste of space.

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Female 172
^ I`m not offended. *shrugs*

I don`t get it. Is this a list of why men are better or how they are more disgusting?
Or are they BETTER at BEING disgusting?

The more you know! *shooting star*

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Male 95
this is funny as poo im soo amused at how all the chicks are offended...
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Male 738
I`d really love to see where the gathered the data for the pay for men and women. I hope they accounted for hours, position, and overtime and such. If there was one women and 1 man, and the man worked 22 hours a day, and made $100 an hour, and a woman worked 2 hours and made a $100 an hour, would the statistic say the woman made 11 times less money then the man?
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Female 33
Whatever. Girls are prettier. :) Men are hairy and gross. I also don`t like the idea of being controlled by a certain organ in my pants.
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Female 33
Women make more than men in some jobs.

I don`t see why this is so hilarious. Unequal pay? Ha...ha...ha? o_O

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Male 1,866
grlz have teh c00tiez!

common, i`ve been doing this for years..
someone needed to see it coming.

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Female 2,552
Um, whoever made this should get slapped.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
10. Same work .. more pay.

I`m too lazy to red the rest, but seriously.


And for this one...
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
..People notice.

If I met someone like this, I would NOT be there friend.

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Male 143
this reminded me. i love life.
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Male 1,386
well, maybe a little less because of the repeats, but still! we pwn dem noobz
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Male 1,386
ok, we have 95, and the girl one had, what, like 30? we win!!!!!!!!
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Male 556
18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
unless ur talkin to a chick...and finger nail clippers work for me, not a knife!
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Male 468
12. You don`t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
52. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.
67. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
75. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

these are my favorites!!
so funny

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Male 651
"I`m as much of a man as any of these guys, only prettier."

Seriously doubt that.

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Female 1,984
A whole heck of them applied to me. Hm...
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Male 10,440
yea, men make more than women, but not by much. And if you take an average that makes sense.

Aditionally, every inch of your height above 5`10` adds and average of $750 to your annual income.

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Female 963
-.- This is old.
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Male 1,204
the one person said u hardly see women dressing as men. go to kensington in south philly. or was it north? well somewhere there. u`ll see plenty of em.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
40. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

that is a joke whoever thought it was weird. all people who don`t really think these are funy, u have a bad sense of humor or ur a feminazi. this is a JOKE, hence the funny section?

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Male 56
lol, some of the best ones are 29, 66, 67, and 90. rofl, so funny
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Female 797
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
Yes you are orange, red, black, yellow, blue, white, tan, etc.
That`s a really dumb one
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Female 670
Meh, I do most of this stuff anyway... I`m as much of a man as any of these guys, only prettier.
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Male 2,486
"69. Foreplay is optional.

That`s total crap, if you`re in a relationship or not."

"or not" What do you mean? Foreplaying with.. yourself? o_o

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Male 57
72 --- You can`t take your shirt off whenever you want !!! That`s gross
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Female 237
most of these were
1. repeats
2. the same as others, just worded differently
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Male 72
Ha ha,that was good.Damm feminazis ruining it."Its just a joke".
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Male 144
92. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you`re not funny." I dont get that one

the following are not true

"54. Sex means never worrying about your reputation."-scooter girls anyone?

"2. Your orgasms are real..... Always." I`ve faked with a fat girl

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid."
you should see some of these bar bitch`s...I wouldent be a friend if I didint say something

41. You don`t have to monitor your friends` sex lives.
you dont have to...but it`s fun

69. Foreplay is optional.


the rest is moderitly true

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Female 187
oh and the list,just how many of them were about pissing? jesus H christ
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Female 1,211
^^^And even then they used some twice :-D
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Female 187
ammmm.....Accurs3ds0ul.i`d just like to say for all the girls out there, rite now, that getting kicked in the fanny (cos i dont use the C U Next Tuesday word) is no laughing matter either.in fact, like for guys and their balls, it can be very dangerous.i`ve had the unfortunity of being kicked there a few times.one time i could bearly breathe for a minute or more!
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Female 818
Gawd, so many of these apply to me. :D

And why only 95? They couldn`t think of five more to round it off at an even hundred? Lazy bums.

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Male 272
There`s one reason why it`s better to be a woman that kicks the crap out of why it`s better to be a man.

Getting kicked in the balls.

And yet, women STILL complain more...-.-`

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Male 1,083
Pinkies..... there are alot of tomboys out there they just dont stand out as much as a guy wearing a dress. But yeah did anybody understand #67. You caneat a banana in a hardware store. what women can`t? theres some unwritten rule " NO women shall not eat bananas in hardware stores" and anyway how is that a perk?
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Male 20
boobs have 100 good reasons alone.
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Female 296
I`m kinda scared.

Half of those apply to me.

I`m a girl.

O_o

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Male 616
There`s this lady who`s been here for over 8 years and I got a promotion over her in only 2 years. She isn`t dumb or anything. I find this hilarious!
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Female 408
Periods is the number one reason why it would be better to be a guy. Pfft.
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Female 429
haa
the one about opening a beer bottle
i had a contest with someone to see how many we could open using something different each time, and he lost :D
muahahahaha so thats 94 :]
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Female 706
Yes, it`s a shame that it is true that men on average do get paid more than women. Which is why I work at a place where all the employees are women! ^.^
Some of them are sterotypical, for instance, I don`t make beds in hotel rooms, they change the sheets anyway so that`s really usless, and I`m pretty sure that my party the night before my wedding will be just as wild as my bf`s will be... but that`s just me.
I think that the main reasons that guys can be thankful that they`re a guy is periods and childbirth. =P
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Female 340
most of this is sooo true. guys really do have it alot easier than girls. damn you guys :P
by the way...I say "screw it? all of the times.
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Female 3,001
alot of them true

all of them funny

and everyone sayin "same work, more pay"
isnt true
it is
in america 60% of men get payed more than women who have the same jobs

and in the uk
its only 40%

but thats still pretty high lol

so yea it was funny =)

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Female 679
*Huh*

*Why its better to be a woman*

1. WE got on the titanic first.
2. There ARE LOADS of gay men, dressing up like women. Hardly any girls dressing up as men.
3. We can wear mens clothes and look gorgeous but when they wear ours they look stupid.

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Male 381
^^^^^
That`s the best one Marshall
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Male 18
what about not going through labour and having a kid?
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Female 75
I agree with all of them. And I`m a girl. And I don`t do any of them. Which is why people call me a man. But anyway. I find them funny because they`re true.
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Female 37
the shaving thing is disgusting...modern men DO shave below the neck! those who dont repulse me completely
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Male 169
well ur in the south lizzy
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Female 77
83. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

Ok,well I`m a girl
and I don`t think I`ve ever brought a present when I drop by someone`s house.A lot of these make no sense, I feel like i`m reading some of these from a freshman in high school.

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Male 55
i can totally open a beer bottle 20 different ways without using utensils.
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Male 74
yay for us
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Male 1,406
about 5 of them came up twice, but other than that I like a fair amount of these, which ARE actually true. Like the power to become president (thought that might change), how woman are always the naked ones in movies, etc.
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Female 70
actually statistically it is true, even today. women make 81 cents for every dollar that a man makes. look it up. despite what people may tell you, there really are still inequalities between genders in the workplace, at least in the US.
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Female 1,398
the "same work, more pay" pissed me. That is NOT true. Seriously... who do they think they are...
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Male 163
1. Bottle opener
2. Teeth (even if it is manky)
3. Brick wall
4. Keys
5. Your hand and a jumper
6. Rocks
7. Knifes
If I keep going I`ll just be naming various object suitable for bending a small piece of metal.
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Female 873
92. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you`re not funny.
^Huh?...
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Female 795
hold on a minute, what are 20 ways to open a beer bottle?
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Female 795
wonder why they stopped at 95, couldnt they round it off to 100?
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Male 24
is it really bad that i was nodding and smiling to myself more and more as i read through this...
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Male 459
hahaha
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Female 1,001
65. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

You have to be a man to do this? uh oh....

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Male 541
lol funny
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Male 99
oh, and as for the same work more pay, that`s complete BS, unless you`re living in the `50s
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Male 99
drizzle, yes i noticed that

nathorn... you`re a chick... this is saying guys can enjoy a quiet car ride.

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Female 50
Not sure i agree with number 24! :)
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Male 908
I do love the fact our clothing doesn`t physically affect us or financially really.
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Female 199
Did nobody else notice that 18 and 40 were the same?

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
40. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

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Female 2,144
Some Are Actually Quite True.
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Male 460
some are funny
some are stereo typical.
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Male 2,216
10. Same work .. more pay.
(Not in the UK! Is this true of the US?!)
57. You don`t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
(Well Im gay... but my bfs butt aint hairy, lol)
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Female 327
underwear is more than $10 for three...depending on where you shop of course...
Ouch @ Same work, more pay...bloody shame that it`s true
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Male 4,246
69. Foreplay is optional.

That`s total crap, if you`re in a relationship or not.

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Male 26
Probably written by a woman of all people...

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Male 1,142
37. The world is your urinal.

57. You don`t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.
lol

60. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
ive never been in a pissing contest.

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Male 268
Yup.
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Female 1,572
Eh..kinda funny
and kinda true
then some are just steriotypical
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Male 17
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