Jon Stewart`s Suggestion to End World Poverty

Submitted by: buddy 10 years ago in Funny

This just could work.
There are 88 comments:
Male 2,605
"Overmann, I think you need to learn that nothing is above ridicule."

That doesn`t mean it is necessarily tasteful or humorous, or that I should consider it such simply because Mr. Stewart meant it as a joke. If you`d like to adopt a regressive mindset regarding world crises, I suppose that would be your prerogative; leave me to mine.

"BTW, no offense meant, but if you meant your last post as a joke you REALLY need to learn that."

If one were going by my last post alone, it would seem I already have.

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Male 957
it still seems wrong to screw somebody over just to end world poverty. id rather screw rich people out of being like paris hilton because, gasp, that might just solve the problem!
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Male 48
Overmann, I think you need to learn that nothing is above ridicule.
BTW, no offense meant, but if you meant your last post as a joke you REALLY need to learn that.
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Male 266
i would do hear anyday to stop poverty
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Female 284
lol
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Female 13
I guess Overmann has already said all I felt (waaahhh!!! I always arrive when the fun is over!). Good to know there`s still some people left with a brain.
No, wait, that`s not true. I`m glad to know there`s still some people who lnow how to use their brains. =)
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Male 2,605
^ Hold that thought while I fetch some sodium chloride.
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Male 136
overmann and suicism make IAB boring.
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Male 2,605
"Please?"

Um, no?

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Female 375
No comment
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Female 302
Okies, I do think angelina jolie is ugly too, but thats beside the point ^^

I tought it was funny ^_- I mean come on ... think of the littles kids in africa! you got to do it for them!

I wish Brad Pitt will give abit to charity... and others people too, be sure to choose who you giving you money too, if you arent christian and dont want to force any charity to "convert" poor people in echange of money, be sure to read the little characters...

If you are christian and want to convert people, well read the little characters too ^_-

I personnality give a little, what I can in fact ^^ Its not alot but its stupiditly make me feel better ^^

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Male 3,631
Please?
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Male 1,496
Seeing as she would probably be dead before she got here and her doing every one would kill off most of the people with AIDS and sh*t clones would be the way to go.
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Male 2,605
"I think that rule reguarding apostrophies... ...so I guess I answered my own question!"

Good job; it just takes a bit of thought.

"Well, it would look PRETTIER with a comma, and read more poetically. Sorry that you don`t want to be poetic."

I didn`t see a need to utilize poetic license while writing a forum post, especially one about the proper use of grammar. I am poetic, however, and I could direct you to some poems I`ve written if I really wanted you to read them.

"Why are you such a prude, Overmann?"

You say it as if that`s a bad thing.

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Male 83
"angelina is still ugly and nasty"

eh, I`d still hit that.

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Male 3,631
Well, it would look PRETTIER with a comma, and read more poetically. Sorry that you don`t want to be poetic. Why are you such a prude, Overmann?

By the way, this website prevents you from exercising proper grammar in every respect COMPLETELY; it converts your two spaces (which follow the end of a sentence) into one, WITHOUT EXCEPTION! You should write buddy about that.

I think that rule reguarding apostrophies and the word "it" is very frustrating, because in proper indications of possession, you always position the apostrophie inbetween the end of the subject word and the s which indicates posession. I guess I was always worried that if people put an s at the end of an "it" without using an apostrophe, people would interpret that as multiple its, rather than possessive its. But I guess there is no such thing as a plural it, so I guess I answered my own question!

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Male 2,605
"Second `I,` just thought it could have used a comma."

Think of my use of `though` as `albeit` and no comma is necessary - not that a comma is necessary as is because its usage is the same.

"Oh, and you probably had problems with your picture due to it`s format."

You mean "its" format? Probably, but I`m not taking any chances. It`s there for all to see and if they`d like to make presumptions about how obsessed I`d have to be to put it up there: oh well.

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Male 3,631
"That does not say I can`t feel sorry for the less fortunate that have to live in the same period of time as I though under far less favorable conditions."

Second "I," just thought it could have used a comma.

Oh, and you probably had problems with your picture due to it`s format.

Try this one; seemed to work for me:

http: //scv.bu.edu/ aarondf/Webgifs/prism. gif

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Male 2,605
"No, I was referring to your `I` without a comma."

Mind giving me a direct quote?

"You can still change it, you know!"

I know, but I had a hell of a time getting the picture to stay and I don`t much feel like going through that again. Besides that, I don`t particularly feel the urge to change it anyway. I`m not sure why anyone ever does, it`s just an avatar.

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Male 3,631
No, I was referring to your "I" without a comma. Oh, and you should totally go with the prism, dude. You can still change it, you know!
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Female 1,572
Also nice clip...Heh
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Female 1,572
She really isn`t I don`t understand Why everyone`s like o she`s so ot I`d bange her in a sec..
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Male 2,605
"It`s evident."

I fear you`re going to have to come up with something better than your opinion, Suicism, to back up an argument. If all any IDer had to do was say the "theory" of Intelligent Design "was evident" in regards to proving it...

"Oh, and nice EDIT. I noticed you missed a comma on page 2 in post 2, paragraph 2, sentence 3, word 24 as well."

I don`t believe I did. Are talking about my use of the word `but` without a comma?

"I think that edit more appropriately describes your presumptuousness in instructing others on their grammar"

Oh just you, Suicism, because unlike the others, you do try so very hard.

"Let me rephrase that; what ARE you doing about it..."

Aside from giving more of a sh*t than you, you mean? I donate 20 dollars to the Red Cross each month. When I enter my better paying career and make, oh, about 115 grand a year max starting, I`ll donate a greater percentage.

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Male 19
I`d hit her.
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Male 3,631
"...people like you attain personal gratification from worrying about problems of others which you can do nothing about..."

Let me rephrase that; what ARE you doing about it, besides complaining here in the I-Am-Bored forum to a bunch of online cronies who are far less aware of the technical erroniousness of their capricious capitalizations than myself?

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Male 1,014
Buddy, I hate those retards who stretch the page out as much as anybody else, but for the love of God PLEASE take this forty character limit off the forums! Can`t post an image or a link anymore! And I had a good one!
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Male 3,631
I think that edit more appropriately describes your presumptuousness in instructing others on their grammar: OBSOLETE!
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Male 3,631
Oh, and nice EDIT. I noticed you missed a comma on page 2 in post 2, paragraph 2, sentence 3, word 24 as well.
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Male 3,631
It`s evident.
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Male 2,605
"This guy`s idea of a party is sitting around over virgin margaritas and feeling sorry for the world`s poor."

Gee, can you prove it?

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Male 2,605
"I guess the only funny thing about you is your insistence on trying to convince others and yourself that Hannibal Lecter would want to have anything to do with you outside of enjoying your liver over Favre beans and a nice Chianti."

Oh please... Hannibal Lecter is a fictitious character in a friggin` book. The decision to put him in my avatar was actually arbitrary and isn`t a reflection on how much I like the character or not. If I had the mind and patience at the time I probably would have put up a peace sign or Pink Floyd`s prism.

On a side note, your quotation of "Favre beans and a nice Chianti" is terribly cliche and superficial. Those words were never written in Silence of the Lambs and are uncharacteristic of Harris` Hannibal.

EDIT: "Obsolutes" in my first post on this page should have been written "obsoletes"; the product of typing things faster than I bothered reading them.

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Male 2,605
"He thinks his sense of humor is `kick-ass,` and only HE understands it. In fact, he wrote `In the end, my sense of humor serves as a vast inside joke and is riotous to those who appreciate it.`"

I don`t need to tell myself I`m funny to preserve my self-esteem; those around me already do so. Granted I don`t suppose I exhibit much of a sense of humor here, but it is not my purpose to so I don`t. It strikes me, Suicism, that in order for you to consider yourself any sort of authority on my sense of humor, you would first have to witness it or, failing that, spoken to those select individuals who appreciate it. Failing both, your opinion on the matter is null.

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Male 2,605
"I thought you were all about the Human Species going extinct, anyway! Oh wait, unless they`re poor. Then they should be kept alive, if only so we can sit around drinking virgin margaritas and feeling sorry for them."

The human race will become extinct all on its own without any intervention from me due to overpopulation - it just takes time. Afterwards, the world will heal itself and begin anew as it always has. That does not say I can`t feel sorry for the less fortunate that have to live in the same period of time as I though under far less favorable conditions. The advantaged not wanting to help the clearly disadvantaged, even given the means to do so, is indicative of the sorry state of humanity and makes a paradox of the notion of justice.

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Male 2,605
"You should know that overmann, what with that presumptive avatar and that ironic screename!"

And you, with your ill-conceived understanding of English grammar that causes you to capitalize when you shouldn`t and not when you should, aside from using obsolutes like "presumptive". What is truly "presumptive" of you is how you feel I derived my screename.

"...people like you attain personal gratification from worrying about problems of others which you can do nothing about..."

I see you also have that sense of complete hopelessness in terms of helping the world`s poor. Who or what made you think you can do nothing to help them? And, if you must know, I receive personal gratification through masturbation. Yes, I feel I can safely say I get more personal gratification out of masturbation than any mere thought. Can`t you?

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Male 957
angelina is still ugly and nasty.
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Male 3,631
Oh, and fire_frog? Don`t feel bad. He told me the same thing. He thinks his sense of humor is "kick-ass," and only HE understands it. In fact, he wrote "In the end, my sense of humor serves as a vast inside joke and is riotous to those who appreciate it."
Well Overmann, I`m sure it sticks solely `to your ribs` as it were (whoops, didn`t mean to make a quip about the consumption of food!), and I`m sure the vastness of your jokes is only matched by the hollowness through which they ring. I guess the only funny thing about you is your insistence on trying to convince others and yourself that Hannibal Lecter would want to have anything to do with you outside of enjoying your liver over Favre beans and a nice Chianti. How `bout that for a slap in the face of world poverty? The guy`s enjoying Human flesh and FINE WINE, while others are starving in a country that needs infrastructure, not live-aid (it`s got enough living aids)! You wish you were worthy of that avatar...
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Female 228
Ok. . . but only for the kids in Africa!! XP
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Male 3,631
Do you feel better about yourself now, you Human beacon of compassion? Oh and by the way, Madonna PM`d; she needs her good-guy badge back.
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Male 3,631
So I’m NOT the only one to ever look at your posts and wonder which mortician you borrowed your sense of humor from! Comedy is ALWAYS a master/slave relationship. You should know that overmann, what with that presumptive avatar and that ironic screename! What`s unfortunate is, people like you attain personal gratification from worrying about problems of others which you can do nothing about; quite a futile exercise. I thought you were all about the Human Species going extinct, anyway! Oh wait, unless they`re poor. Then they should be kept alive, if only so we can sit around drinking virgin margaritas and feeling sorry for them.
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Male 3,631
This guy`s idea of a party is sitting around over virgin margaritas and feeling sorry for the world`s poor.
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Male 1,014
I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: Overmann, I wanna party with you! You and me, this weekend, we`ll tear it up! Whaddaya say?
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Male 2,605
That wasn`t the point of my last post, pudleofcrud, but good try. I`m sure it took a lot of mental energy to get even that far.
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Male 180
I`m down for it
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Male 83
american `humour` sucks. and i saw that `lets all drat her` ten years early
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Male 95
Yeah, i bet people in poverty would be really offended if anyone made a joke about having sex with angelina jolie. You people should be ASHAMED.

K, i was lying. THAT WOULD BE SOOOOO TIGHT!!!! I sooooooo wanna end poverty with her all night.

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Male 2,605
"Oh ya and Overmann, get a sense of humor"

fire_frog, I`m sure those suffering in poverty would greatly appreciate your labelling the ridicule of the attempts to save them as "humor". I happen to have an excellent sense of humor but I don`t feel much would be gained trying to explain it to you.

"And Overmann - world poverty is A FACT OF LIFE. Get used to it. There`s nothing wrong with a joke, anyway."

World poverty is *not* a fact of life, triindiglo, nor should it be considered such. Where did you get your data? What author or politician told you it was a "fact of life"? And surely you are not suggesting there isn`t such a thing as a bad joke?

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Female 33
Angelina is hot.
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Male 3,060
He was at OSU this week! YAY! Go Bucks!
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Male 361
lol :-D
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Female 1,007
HAHA. :-D
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Male 1,385
saw the punch line coming, didn`t think it was all that funny. John, stick to politics please
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Male 72
"Of course the entire second generation would not consist of nothing but incest. Think for a second."

Um, yes it would. YOU think for a second. Every kid in the second generation on the planet would have the same mom.

And Overmann - world poverty is A FACT OF LIFE. Get used to it. There`s nothing wrong with a joke, anyway.

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Male 404
Great plan, but do you have to be 18?
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Male 227
Oh ya and Overmann,
get a sense of humor
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Male 227
If it`s for African children I will put my rooster to good use.
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Male 2,605
So, Stewart`s suggestion to ending poverty is to have an actress have sex with everyone? Gee, what a slap in the face to all impoverished people of the world. I don`t care that Stewart or his audience felt it was comedy; it wasn`t right and global poverty isn`t a matter to make quips about.
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Male 4,014
Soldato said:

"Wouldn`t the entire second generation consist of nothing but incest?"

Yes, and the same applys to Christianity`s story of creation. If adam and eve were the first people, then all of their kids had to get busy with each other. So, we`re all inbred, according to the Bible.

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Male 110
I think she is ugly as sin. I`m not sure why people think she is hot.. but it is fine with me if people think she is good looking saves more women for me that actually ARE beautiful.
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Male 724
Im all for that idea... sign me up to the list while its still short!
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Female 1,071
ooooooook..................
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Male 1,014
Alright, alright, I`ll do it. Thanks Jon, guilting me into it like that. Geez, the things I do to end poverty.
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Male 2,057
hmm ok if i have to
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Male 2,720
Its gonna get really messy around central America.
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Female 3,574
"by the way everybody, her name means "beautiful little angel" in frawnche"

"Angelina" is not Angel in french, Ange is :P and there`s no little in there... her last name just means "pretty".

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Female 3,574
Angelina is NOT very pretty imho >_O
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Female 999
ya know, i dont think id do her.

but then again im only half gay.

the other half is just bi.

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Male 908
Offlinetourettes
Male, 18-29, Western US
370 Posts Friday, November 03, 2006 4:39:39 AM
jolie screwed enough people. it hasnt done any good!!!!! shes an ugly whore, its not as obvious as paris hilton but i wish it was. this is a disgusting idea and i hope jon stewart gets STD`s


You are just mad because she doesn`t want your pee pee ^_^

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Male 870
Of course the entire second generation would not consist of nothing but incest. Think for a second.
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Male 36
Wouldn`t the entire second generation consist of nothing but incest?
--
Dude, it would be totally worth it!!
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Male 91
by the way everybody, her name means "beautiful little angel" in frawnche

and im with stewart

i would put those big smooshy lips to good use!

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Male 119
Now I dont wanna save Africa, and Angelina Jolie!, if you`re reading this, you know what to do....
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Male 104
LOL i cant wait till big bonny comments on this!!! tee hee hee!
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Male 1,204
lol.... that`s just funny...
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Female 24
dude...it was a joke...
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Male 957
jolie screwed enough people. it hasnt done any good!!!!! shes an ugly whore, its not as obvious as paris hilton but i wish it was. this is a disgusting idea and i hope jon stewart gets STD`s
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Male 2,567
lol
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Female 546
Lol. Poor Angelina.
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Male 1,217
She`d probably die before she even got a fifth way through the population, considering how much we`re growing. There`s like 80 new people coming into our world and staying there every minute. INCLUDING DEATHS OF OTHER PEOPLE AND CHILDBIRTH.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -This post was inspired by lyrics by Eminem in the song "Dead Wrong" by Biggie Smalls and Eminem.

"get a new whore, met on the second, wed on the third, and she`s dead on the fourth"

Sorry, I just felt like doing something stupid.

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Female 24
hahahahahhahahahah thats just wow hahahahhahah
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Male 27
"i say. CLONE her. one jolie for every man on earth...that, would solve a lot of problems. and make a beutiful generation"

Wouldn`t the entire second generation consist of nothing but incest?

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Male 70
I`d be doing this world a disservice if i didn`t do Angelina. I`m sure she`ll agree.
Hell, if Billy Bob Thornton can bone her, anyone can...
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Male 1,526
i say. CLONE her. one jolie for every man on earth...that, would solve a lot of problems. and make a beutiful generation
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Male 51
hey! i was before u. besides im an african kid so i get preference.

remember, it`s about us.

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Male 336
dude since john stewart alreadys got dibs on first, dibs on second, and maybe third too, hell ill take 4th and fifth too while im at it, the line for angelina starts after me
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Male 51
Agreed 100% with jon stewart. i`d do her for the kids in africa.
im a kid living in africa, do her for me.
yeah!! =D
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Male 356
Technically....you just did....

Liar.

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Male 185
Who says the daily show isnt funny anymore?
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Male 10,115
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