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Rating: 2.4
Category: Funny
Date: 09/15/06 02:17 AM

65 Responses to The Hardest Metal Known to Man

  1. Profile photo of RussianFire
    RussianFire Male 13-17
    1 post
    September 15, 2006 at 1:35 am
    Link: The Hardest Metal Known to Man - Learn all about diamonds.
  2. Profile photo of notapervert
    notapervert Male 13-17
    2567 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 2:34 am
    Lol
  3. Profile photo of bored-am-I
    bored-am-I Male 30-39
    785 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 2:42 am
    I`m lovin`it !


  4. Profile photo of quack_stud
    quack_stud Male 13-17
    439 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:14 am
    i edited it so that it says "quack_stud says to visit www.i-am-bored.com"
  5. Profile photo of Mani-Jac
    Mani-Jac Male 40-49
    805 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:30 am
    Boring and not funny
  6. Profile photo of dreddloxx
    dreddloxx Male 70 & Over
    287 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:53 am
    Oi,quack stud,is your dad a moderator on this site? When you consider how many potentially good posts get rejected on here,how on earth did this inane crap get accepted?! Words fail me...
  7. Profile photo of DragonSageX
    DragonSageX Male 18-29
    193 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:56 am
    quack_stud...why did you tell people to go here?
  8. Profile photo of missaquafina
    missaquafina Female 18-29
    208 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 4:01 am
    Stupid
  9. Profile photo of pudleofcrud
    pudleofcrud Male 18-29
    95 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 4:05 am
    WHAAAAA?!?!?!!? Now how will I plagiarize my report on diamonds?!?!?!?! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!
  10. Profile photo of CmdrBittles
    CmdrBittles Female 18-29
    1172 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 4:31 am
    lame. and since when is diamond a metal?
  11. Profile photo of kewldawg
    kewldawg Male 40-49
    182 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 6:11 am
    LOL that was funny
  12. Profile photo of signed_in
    signed_in Male 18-29
    122 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 6:14 am
    it`s uncyclopedia. They are the anti-wikipedia, sort of.
  13. Profile photo of k8vz
    k8vz Female 18-29
    122 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 6:33 am
    ...crap...
  14. Profile photo of dudeman1st
    dudeman1st Male 30-39
    1354 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 7:21 am
    dumb
  15. Profile photo of tomsss
    tomsss Male 18-29
    403 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 7:38 am
    "Courtney Stephan Gartland eats rebbeca evans vagina.. "

    Why is this shown after the first paragraph? :D

  16. Profile photo of MrEman
    MrEman Male 18-29
    329 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 7:49 am
    I call shenanigans.
  17. Profile photo of KekS
    KekS Male 18-29
    588 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 8:17 am
    Diamond is not a metal. It`s compressed coal. And coal is not metal as far as I know.
  18. Profile photo of MrEman
    MrEman Male 18-29
    329 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 8:41 am
    thanks for clearing that up keks. it is however the hardest substance known to man (aside from finger nails)... just look at the scientific testing they did at the bottom of the page. conclusive proof.
  19. Profile photo of farquaadhnch
    farquaadhnch Male 18-29
    1225 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 8:51 am
    They got rid of the vagina thing and put "I don`t know how this sentence got there."

    And in the disscussion page, someone wrote: "Dimand is a mineral, not a metal." Then I came back to it and it said, "We don`t care mineral man."

  20. Profile photo of Ktipr
    Ktipr Male 18-29
    121 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 10:34 am
    the text in the bottom doesnt make any sense...

    They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive???

  21. Profile photo of ranon
    ranon Male 18-29
    295 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 10:51 am
    Diamond is not a metal. It is made of carbon.
  22. Profile photo of ranon
    ranon Male 18-29
    295 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 10:54 am
    Oh, it`s Uncyclopedia- the content free encyclopedia.
  23. Profile photo of ryan14
    ryan14 Male 13-17
    2057 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 11:15 am
    diamond is carbon not metal
  24. Profile photo of Gammon_Rod
    Gammon_Rod Male 13-17
    431 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 11:38 am
    That was stupid
  25. Profile photo of Matwix_2004
    Matwix_2004 Male 18-29
    2551 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 11:45 am
    Titanium is the hardest metal known to man.
    Diamand is the hardest substance known to man, only because the only thing that can break diamond is diamond (used in dentists drill bits, builders drill bits etc)

    Diamond is made out of carbon, like people, and the so-called `lead` in pencils. I think it`s pencils, well, diamond and pencil `lead` are made out of the same thing.

  26. Profile photo of Bekka-Babe
    Bekka-Babe Female 13-17
    177 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 11:48 am
    I don`t get it.
  27. Profile photo of Bekka-Babe
    Bekka-Babe Female 13-17
    177 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 11:48 am
    Lol. Did all those things acctually happen? Like the comet and the aeroplane crash?
  28. Profile photo of Muscatt
    Muscatt Male 13-17
    30 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 12:11 pm
    This is from 4chan.
  29. Profile photo of oldie
    oldie Male 13-17
    241 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 1:00 pm
    "Diamonds as ammunition
    Diamonds arent even that hard. Mr. T eats nails fr breakfast, and they are harder than diamonds! Diamonds have proven to be an expensive but highly useful projectile weapon, as they can be shaped and yet still retain their shape, a condition known as apoplexy. Currently there is no known way to make spherical diamonds, but scientists are working on it as spheres are best at destroying medieval castle towers. Sharpened diamonds are used mainly to fight porcupines, who are genuinely surprised to get a shard of carbon jammed into their skin. "

    WTF?

  30. Profile photo of dragonrice
    dragonrice Male 18-29
    632 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 1:02 pm
    Diamond is compressed carbon
  31. Profile photo of omgwtfho
    omgwtfho Female 18-29
    218 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 1:27 pm
    Look at all these people spouting their seemingly vast knowledge on diamonds.

    It`s a JOKE people. Fake, not real.

  32. Profile photo of mise
    mise Female 18-29
    583 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 2:36 pm
    not funny :-|

    and i think we clarified that diamonds aren`t metal.

  33. Profile photo of thecranberry
    thecranberry Male 18-29
    731 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:07 pm
    rofl rofl rofl. everyone on the freaking site edited it. good job whoever posted this link. now i wont ever know about diamonds.
  34. Profile photo of GrnFantasic
    GrnFantasic Male 13-17
    602 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:21 pm
    Onoz its been jamaljones-ized!
  35. Profile photo of Timicus
    Timicus Male 18-29
    70 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:27 pm
    For the LAST TIME! Diamond = Carbon = Metalloid!

    I don`t know whether to laugh or wish death upon jamal jones. Where the heck did he get that pic from anyway?

  36. Profile photo of gonadsonfire
    gonadsonfire Male 13-17
    579 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:32 pm
    I hope the ppl at uncyclopedia fix when ppl destroy an article becuze jamaljoones has ruined it, just like he is trying to ruin i-am-bored. :-(
  37. Profile photo of Invalok
    Invalok Male 18-29
    724 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 3:59 pm
    Lol, look at the edit history...

    19:38, 15 September 2006
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  38. Profile photo of AFTERSHOCK
    AFTERSHOCK Male 18-29
    2782 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 4:02 pm
    I BET I CAN CRUSH A DIAMOND WITH A HAMMER. UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE. GODDAMNED EXPENSIVE SH`T TOO. OF COURSE I WAS A LITTLE YOUNG NUMBNUTS BACK THEN.

    I SHOULD START INVESTING IN THAT APPOLLO DIAMOND SH`T

  39. Profile photo of B-Hazard
    B-Hazard Male 18-29
    2958 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 4:15 pm
    ::explains the creation and structure of a diamond because I have no sense of humor and/or am slow::
  40. Profile photo of 7451
    7451 Male 70 & Over
    1478 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 4:32 pm
    Uncyclopedia kicks ass. It`s not supposed to be right, pillocks.
  41. Profile photo of Sabrielle
    Sabrielle Female 18-29
    38 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 5:21 pm
    Matwix_2004, diamond is the hardest substance known to man because only a diamond can SCRATCH a diamond, not break. I can break a diamond with a hammer. Hardness is actually a rock`s ability to be abraded, or scratched, it`s "scratchability."

    Promise, I have a degree in Geology.

  42. Profile photo of guapodude
    guapodude Male 13-17
    329 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 5:40 pm
    Does no one here get the sarsasm?
  43. Profile photo of KMeTG
    KMeTG Male 18-29
    1265 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 6:46 pm
    ^^^I do.

    Anyone else or are we all taking retard pills today?

  44. Profile photo of guapodude
    guapodude Male 13-17
    329 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 7:10 pm
    Well, IAB isn`t exactly a breeding ground for anylitical geniuses.
  45. Profile photo of gonadsonfire
    gonadsonfire Male 13-17
    579 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 7:11 pm
    They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive.

    makes no sense.

  46. Profile photo of notapervert
    notapervert Male 13-17
    2567 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 8:44 pm
    Its freaking uncyclopedia not wikipedia you people!
  47. Profile photo of 643197
    643197 Male 18-29
    1078 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 8:50 pm
    lame
  48. Profile photo of esopillar34
    esopillar34 Male 18-29
    471 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 9:38 pm
    First off, gb2/b/. Don`t sully /b/`s good name by letting it loose on people who wouldn`t understand.

    And second, it`s "Diamond is one of the hardest metals (If not THE hardest metal) known the man."

    It started as a discussion on Gamefaqs about fast cars vs. durible cars, and how they would react if they hit a wall. Then it got into the discussion of a diamond car, then diamond wall, then somebody busted out with the gem "Diamond is one of the hardest metals (If not THE hardest metal) known the man." The web community /b/ took it an ran with it, turning it into one of their memes.

    There`s your history lesson for the day. Now stop saying "diamond isn`t a metal". It`s like saying "Hey, owls can`t really say `oh really`", and makes you look stupid.

  49. Profile photo of misscutieroo
    misscutieroo Female 18-29
    1944 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 10:10 pm


    this is what i see now but like an hour ago it was about not rubbing the diamond on ur lip....weird
  50. Profile photo of flippant
    flippant Female 18-29
    447 posts
    September 15, 2006 at 11:24 pm
    um...ok.
  51. Profile photo of shizzaster
    shizzaster Male 13-17
    1866 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 1:29 am
    hahaha, ok then.
    thanks for melting my brain.
    i don`t think diamonds are the hardest substance known to man anymore... i can`t remember reading somthing, ugh. forget it.
  52. Profile photo of lakerzz8
    lakerzz8 Male 18-29
    366 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 1:38 am
    HEY PEOPLE!! IT`s a JOKE
  53. Profile photo of xJmanx
    xJmanx Male 13-17
    62 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 3:45 am
    Lol, that website has the best stuff, someone look up the ipod articles, they get ridiculous
  54. Profile photo of spack12
    spack12 Male 13-17
    98 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 11:18 am
    I didnt realise it was uncyclopedia until I went on here and you guys said it.
  55. Profile photo of Sabrielle
    Sabrielle Female 18-29
    38 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 12:40 pm
    I only posted to correct a misunderstanding on the properties of diamonds. I know the damn website is a joke. I print out pages and post them on my wall because I find them hilarious.
  56. Profile photo of AmyNicoleduh
    AmyNicoleduh Female 18-29
    1158 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 1:55 pm
    -yawn-
  57. Profile photo of equus578
    equus578 Female 18-29
    1 post
    September 16, 2006 at 2:13 pm
    This guy is a complete idiot. That was not funny at all! I think I might have become stupid after reading that... I work at a jewelry store and I know about diamonds. Diamonds are not a metal, they can be broken by other substances, not just other diamonds if you hit them the right way. The Andes are on the west cost of South America NOT in South Africa. That was the stupidest thing I have ever read!
  58. Profile photo of Scaredycat
    Scaredycat Female 30-39
    39 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 2:32 pm
    Oh my god, that was so funny! I actually thought that was for real for about two seconds...

    "Sharpened diamonds are used mainly to fight porcupines, who are genuinely surprised to get a shard of carbon jammed into their skin. "

    Yeah, I bet they get surprised! LOL :-D :-D

  59. Profile photo of kph155
    kph155 Male 13-17
    528 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 3:49 pm
    LOL UNCYCLOPEDIA FTW!!
  60. Profile photo of oceanzero
    oceanzero Male 13-17
    16 posts
    September 16, 2006 at 10:22 pm
    They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted the earth`s orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards midwestern Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour.

    They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour,

    GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

  61. Profile photo of B-Hazard
    B-Hazard Male 18-29
    2958 posts
    September 17, 2006 at 12:27 am
    -This guy is a complete idiot. That was not funny at all! I think I might have become stupid after reading that... I work at a jewelry store and I know about diamonds. Diamonds are not a metal, they can be broken by other substances, not just other diamonds if you hit them the right way. The Andes are on the west cost of South America NOT in South Africa. That was the stupidest thing I have ever read!-

    Really? Cause what you just typed was the stupidest thing I`ve ever read.

  62. Profile photo of Sabrielle
    Sabrielle Female 18-29
    38 posts
    September 17, 2006 at 4:48 pm
    Sho` nuff!
  63. Profile photo of gmedra03
    gmedra03 Male 13-17
    377 posts
    September 18, 2006 at 9:53 pm
    Cool website!
  64. Profile photo of olivetrees
    olivetrees Female 18-29
    2 posts
    September 27, 2006 at 6:45 pm
    Wow, I`m amazed at "Matwix"`s lack of general knowledge. Sure diamond`s made of carbon, so`s coal and graphite (which is of course wat pencil leads are made of, they used to be lead, but, you know lead poisoning of all the kids who liked to bite their pencils soon stopped that...)
    PS. you guys should look up some other stuff on that site it`s pure hilarious...
  65. Profile photo of Rauron
    Rauron Male 13-17
    563 posts
    November 10, 2007 at 8:04 pm
    it`s funny how many people don`t know it`s supposed to be a spoof :3

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