The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 93    Average: 3.4/5]
51 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 27783
Rating: 3.4
Category: Funny
Date: 09/30/06 02:30 AM

51 Responses to Tech Support FAQ for Idiots

  1. Profile photo of RonSijm
    RonSijm Male 18-29
    28 posts
    September 29, 2006 at 10:28 pm
    Link: Tech Support FAQ for Idiots - Compaq even answers the really dumb questions.
  2. Profile photo of mapleleaf
    mapleleaf Male 13-17
    162 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 2:39 am
    lol
  3. Profile photo of INFZ
    INFZ Female 13-17
    68 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 3:03 am
    wow. I didn`t think it was possible for people to REALLY get this dumb.


    pretty damn funny.

  4. Profile photo of Boxtop
    Boxtop Male 18-29
    652 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 3:30 am
    Retards who ask that question shouldn`t even be using computers.

    Triindiglo, shut the hell up and GTFO.

  5. Profile photo of cruxshadows
    cruxshadows Female 18-29
    2144 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 4:03 am
    Har-Har.
  6. Profile photo of DMDekoth
    DMDekoth Male 70 & Over
    888 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 6:21 am
    Wow, everyone that Ive known that asked that says it as an obvious joke.
  7. Profile photo of pancor12
    pancor12 Male 18-29
    1 post
    September 30, 2006 at 7:01 am
    I worked in tech support for, well, to long. I have on several occasions been asked this question. There are some seriously stupid people out there.
  8. Profile photo of ryan14
    ryan14 Male 13-17
    2057 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 7:26 am
    what an idiot. Then again it could have just been a joke. Its on the simpsons as well
  9. Profile photo of Brian 61316
    Brian 61316 Male 18-29
    741 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 9:40 am
    Its sad how dumb the question is
  10. Profile photo of green_wrath
    green_wrath Male 18-29
    498 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 9:52 am
    LOL
    some ppl ar real idiots even ma mom
    knows that there is no such hing as an any key lol
    :->
  11. Profile photo of snapplemouse
    snapplemouse Female 13-17
    160 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 10:03 am
    Any key? What that? Is it that big glowing button on the side of the screen that says turn monitor off? Well, well, lemme try... AGHHH! My data! It`s gone! Nooooo! What? Press it again? Well I don`t see where this is going...
  12. Profile photo of videogamer
    videogamer Male 18-29
    3016 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 10:24 am
    http://snopes.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm#add

    The bottom of the page will link you to three computer user humor sites.

  13. Profile photo of dani_chick
    dani_chick Female 18-29
    290 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 10:32 am
    Just because we obviously know how to use computers doesn`t mean the whole world should be able to. Elderly people may not be able to understand the computer concepts we find simple. Or how about people in third world countries who have never been exposed to computer technology. Sure, most people asking that question aren`t the brightest, but that may not always be the case.
  14. Profile photo of Pitbull3291
    Pitbull3291 Male 13-17
    93 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 10:49 am
    oooooooooooooooo ok finally sum1 awnsers me ;)
  15. Profile photo of ddr_coke21
    ddr_coke21 Male 13-17
    374 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 10:50 am
    not serious, is it?
  16. Profile photo of sims2luver
    sims2luver Female 13-17
    797 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 11:26 am
    Frequently asked questions. WTF?
  17. Profile photo of Bekll
    Bekll Female 18-29
    1984 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 11:27 am
    HILARIOUS:

    # Customer: "I can`t seem to connect to the Internet."
    # Tech Support: "Ah, right. What operating system are you running?"
    # Customer: "Netscape."
    # Tech Support: "No, what version of Windows are you using?"
    # Customer: "Uhhh...Hewlett Packard?"
    # Tech Support: "No, Right click on `My Computer,` and select properties on the menu."
    # Customer: "Your computer? It`s my computer!"
    # Tech Support: "No sir, I mean the little picture called `My Computer` on your desktop."
    # Customer: "I don`t see an icon called that on my desktop. I do see one called that on my screen."
    # Tech Support: "Right, just right click that, and choose Properties from the menu."
    # Customer: "Right click?"
    # Tech Support: "Just a moment, sir." (mutes phone) "AAAAAAAARGH."

  18. Profile photo of rockerbunny
    rockerbunny Female 18-29
    173 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 11:33 am
    My mom`s a smart woman... unless it comes to computers. She`s extremely non-computer savvy. She barely knows how to use hotmail, let alone simple computer tricks I`ve grown up with. Like control alt delete. I had to explain that to her for a while before she realized the consept. Why? Because when she was my age, all she had was the huge computers with punch cards.

    It all depends on how well people have kept up with technology. Some people just don`t understand things we take for granted. When we`re elderly, some of us won`t be able to understand the technology young people are masters of.

  19. Profile photo of sporka
    sporka Female 18-29
    818 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 11:46 am
    XD Fuuuuuuuuunny.
  20. Profile photo of SmagBoy1
    SmagBoy1 Male 40-49
    4432 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 12:42 pm
    Okay, first of all, they didn`t clearly answer my question about the "any" key--what do they mean just "strike any key on the" keyboard? Strike it?! With what? What if I break the keyboard? I have no idea how hitting my keyboard will expose the any key? Please help me. :-(
  21. Profile photo of byebyemoto
    byebyemoto Female 13-17
    345 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 12:44 pm
    Nobody`s that thick, surely.
  22. Profile photo of kraimer
    kraimer Male 13-17
    143 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 1:09 pm
    Ive always wanted to know where the all illusive any key was.
  23. Profile photo of Galileo53
    Galileo53 Male 13-17
    731 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 1:10 pm
    oh my god.... B-|
  24. Profile photo of wauwa1983x
    wauwa1983x Female 18-29
    811 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 1:29 pm
    He he, the any key!!
  25. Profile photo of insanepirate
    insanepirate Female 18-29
    364 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 1:44 pm
    Pfft. Stupid question.

    But they need more than one.

  26. Profile photo of karfoogle
    karfoogle Male 18-29
    32 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 1:55 pm
    I work in tech support right now, and I can easily believe people are this dumb. And rockerbunny I don`t expect everyone to know things about computers, but it`s my opinion that if you are going to own one you should know at least the BASICS of how to use it. You shouldn`t own something you don`t know how to take care of.
  27. Profile photo of Boxtop
    Boxtop Male 18-29
    652 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 2:00 pm
    "Nobody`s that thick, surely."

    Have you ever set foot outside your house? There`s stupid people all over the place.

  28. Profile photo of ThatDamnKid
    ThatDamnKid Male 13-17
    3 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 3:45 pm
    Quote from the Diablo II manual

    "Throughout this manual there are some terms with which you might be unfamiliar. Since your interaction in the game is accomplished by using your mouse, you should be fluent with some mouse-specific expressions. The phrases "click" or "left-click" refer to quickly pressing and releasing the button on the top, left side of your mouse. The phrase "right-click" refer to quickly pressing and releasing the button on the top, right side of your mouse."

  29. Profile photo of cinamon707
    cinamon707 Male 13-17
    28 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 3:47 pm
    Lol reminds me of my mom who didn`t even know how to open Microsoft Word.
  30. Profile photo of nicole_xo
    nicole_xo Female 13-17
    2552 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 3:57 pm
    LMAO!! Any key.
  31. Profile photo of mafino2005
    mafino2005 Male 13-17
    37 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 4:26 pm
    Frequently Asked Question? That? Oh Lord.
  32. Profile photo of MarthFador
    MarthFador Female 18-29
    1004 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 4:37 pm
    my grandmother isnt allowed on the comp for this sort of reason...
    "Hey! Lemme on!....Okay, i wanna go online and look something up....*types* Where`s the `dot` button for, like, something dot com?"
    .....oh....my lovely, clueless grannie...
  33. Profile photo of superbitch19
    superbitch19 Female 13-17
    21 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 4:45 pm
    erm...that ddnt help me wotsoeva i still cant find the "any" key...can ne1 help me please will b 4eva gr8ful....
    haha lmfao....XD
  34. Profile photo of meganopoullu
    meganopoullu Male 18-29
    167 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 5:31 pm
    - Close all of your windows

    - Even the one in the kitchen?

  35. Profile photo of xtreme_dude
    xtreme_dude Male 18-29
    1372 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 7:20 pm
    how to find the "any" key

    1.get a large blunt object
    2.strike it aginst your computer
    3.get a gun*
    4.put the barrel** aginst your head
    5.pull trigger***

    *make sure theres a bullet inside
    **you know,that thing that the bullet comes out of
    ***that little part you have to pull to launch the bullet

  36. Profile photo of STARTSOMETIN
    STARTSOMETIN Male 18-29
    561 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 8:04 pm
    this had to be a joke
  37. Profile photo of engelbert
    engelbert Female 18-29
    236 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 8:37 pm
    Oh my God I just read every single comment and I want to scream.

    I completely agree with karfoogle. If you`re gonna spend out a bloody lot of your wage on a piece of technology that you can`t even use then you`re a complete moron.

    Additionally, whoever made the self-righteous comment about wah wah old people shouldn`t be expected to use computers and people in third world countries can`t. HELLO. People in third world countries can`t AFFORD computers. You`re an idiot.

    It also scares me that someone who can`t work out what "any key" means is allowed to venture onto the internet to look it up. >.<

  38. Profile photo of gingerirene
    gingerirene Female 30-39
    10 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 10:07 pm
    like homer simpson --- try the "tab" key and wait for a soda!!!
  39. Profile photo of CheeseMan1
    CheeseMan1 Male 18-29
    1408 posts
    September 30, 2006 at 10:09 pm
    Back to the simpsons, "which one is the any key"? Good times, good times.
  40. Profile photo of Boxtop
    Boxtop Male 18-29
    652 posts
    October 1, 2006 at 2:36 am
    "this had to be a joke"

    Hardly. There`s idiots who actually ask these kinds of questions. This is why I`m never working in tech support.

  41. Profile photo of nicholelibra
    nicholelibra Female 18-29
    663 posts
    October 1, 2006 at 11:56 am
    If you`re willing to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a computer then why the hell can`t you spend $29.99 on a damn how to book?
  42. Profile photo of shreder23
    shreder23 Male 18-29
    799 posts
    October 1, 2006 at 3:17 pm
    simpsons moment
  43. Profile photo of Pikachu42
    Pikachu42 Female 18-29
    1492 posts
    October 1, 2006 at 3:37 pm
    That couldn`t have been serious...I mean... )-|
  44. Profile photo of violingirl77
    violingirl77 Female 13-17
    1426 posts
    October 1, 2006 at 5:11 pm
    Customer: Can you download the internet onto this floppy disk for me?
  45. Profile photo of KMeTG
    KMeTG Male 18-29
    1265 posts
    October 1, 2006 at 6:06 pm
    I know it`s nothing to do with computers, but here`s an illustration of the stupidity I see all the time at work:

    Customer walks into the building and finds a person behind the counter, facing the entrance. Everything is set up for service, and the customer asks, "Are you open?"

    To which the only plausible response is, "No, I live here" but you have to grit your teeth and just say Yes.

  46. Profile photo of Masterion
    Masterion Male 13-17
    36 posts
    October 1, 2006 at 8:55 pm
    I don`t get the any key joke, unfortunately
  47. Profile photo of lolakitty72
    lolakitty72 Female 30-39
    1972 posts
    October 2, 2006 at 1:25 am
    I think it is time that tech support hotlines should also be equipped with a zapper device coming from the phone. Everytime a stupid question is asked-ZZAAPP!
    It would make my job sooooooo much more satisfying.
  48. Profile photo of ShaggE
    ShaggE Male 18-29
    45 posts
    October 2, 2006 at 9:34 am
    To see this kind of idiocy more often, all you have to do is play Counterstrike. The morons on those servers set new records for asshat-ery.
  49. Profile photo of jkhoo
    jkhoo Male 18-29
    145 posts
    October 2, 2006 at 9:51 am
    haha all these tech support jokes are hilarious
  50. Profile photo of Mo0k
    Mo0k Male 18-29
    664 posts
    October 2, 2006 at 10:30 am
    "Just because we obviously know how to use computers doesn`t mean the whole world should be able to. Elderly people may not be able to understand the computer concepts we find simple. Or how about people in third world countries who have never been exposed to computer technology. Sure, most people asking that question aren`t the brightest, but that may not always be the case."

    Someone smart enough to contact Compaq online should be able to know what "any key" means.

  51. Profile photo of pickleklk
    pickleklk Female 18-29
    54 posts
    October 2, 2006 at 5:16 pm
    my father got that confused the first time he used a computer also.

    i just cant believe its on the compiece of poo website FAQ`s

Leave a Reply