What to do in a terrorist attack

Submitted by: texorama 11 years ago in Funny
http://www.houstonjusticenotwar.org/humour/terrorist_attack/index.asp

Apparently, our government has some interesting perspectives on how to respond.
There are 106 comments:
Male 60
Love Stuff like this, haven`t laughed this much in ages.

Loved the conserve oxygen by not farting one.

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Male 404
I actually laughed out loud like crazy!!!!!!!
Not kidding, ROFL!!!!
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Male 361
that was pretty funny i loved it
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Male 1,725
they were all great but i think the best was


austin is radio active move to houston

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Male 26
Hmmmmm....not trying to sound nerdy here but the last one annoyed me. Quick science lesson:

There are 3 different types of radiation,Alpha, Beta and Gamma.

Alpha radiation is very weak and couldn`t penetrate your skin, and is absorbed by a foot of air.

Beta radiation could be stopped by a thin piece of card or indeed some plywood.

Gamma radiation is the only type of radiation that could puncture through you, and needs lead or concrete to insulate it.

So in fact the witty comment next to the picture

"A one-inch thick piece of plywood should be sufficient protection against radiation." is most probably true, and can protect you sufficiently against 2 types of radiation.AND Beta radiation is more damaging for you than gamma because although gamma passes straight through you, Beta gets stuck inside you, and makes you ill, so DO carry some plywood!

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Male 280
THEY ARE FROM AIRTOONS! stealers! http://www.airtoons.com/toons.php?toon=7...
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Male 280
i liked the
"if you see a terrorist arrow, try to pin it against the wall with your shoulder"
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Male 4
:-D that was funny
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Female 192
LOLZORZ ROFLMFAO nuf said.
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Female 264
ha ha thats like these
http://www.airtoons.com/
funny
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Male 137
"If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, do not look for it."

At that point, i simply lost all sanity and cracked up.

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Female 36
"If you`ve become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that poo."
hahahahahahahahaha
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Male 1,478
I love this. I couldn`t stop laughing.
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Female 7
that is really dumb
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Female 963
LMAO
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Female 600
Oh that is tears in the eyes hysterical. I could not stop laughing.
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Male 738
Those were spectacular! Please sir, can I have some more?
"More? MORE? NO BITCH *smack*"
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Female 96
What? I don`t get it.
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Female 55
funny
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Female 54
Whoops, copied too much.
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Female 54
Print this Page
What to do in a Terrorist Attack
The US government has a new website, www.ready.gov. It`s another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.


If you have set yourself on fire, do not run


If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.


If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder


If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.


Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!


The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one (1) armless hand.


"Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the f*** away."
Lmao. xD

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Female 584
Hahahaha!
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Male 594
That would be funny except that it isn`t.
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Male 69
That was funny, I thought the farting one was the best.
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Female 24
If your building collapses, give yourself a b***j** while waiting to be rescued.

That was fauckin funny!!!

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Female 19
Hahaha, that was funny. Good stuff.
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Male 468
all of them were funny..job well done
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Female 14
LMFAO
that made my day.
=D
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Female 1,426
lmao those were great! i love those!
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Male 66
i laugh till i cried! " if you`re vin diesel, yell really loud." that`s just so random.
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Female 119
ye the vin diesel one was the best i liked the one about fish,biohazard and hurricanes all being the same, think about it. I can just imagone all these people running screaming and one guys standing there contemplating it
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Female 16
That one actually made me laugh.
VERY nicely done.
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Male 962
lol
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Male 577
ROFLMAO
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Female 3
this was probably the funniest thing ever lol
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Male 213
Wow. That was hawt.

I`d tap that poo.

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Female 329
omg that actually made me laugh out loud-and I never laugh out loud from reading something
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Female 71
Lmao that was funny. XD

"Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically."

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Male 1,265
If it concerns oral sex then the chances are it`s good.
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Female 350
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.. oh man... I can`t breathe.
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Female 272
hahaha, i was cracking up at the vin diesel and the farting ones.
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Male 919
Lmao that was great!
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Male 354
I laughed myself to tears!
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Male 598
wow, that was pretty funny, about time.
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Male 2,057
hahaha
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Female 61
X_Y_Z.........you`re not the only one. Some were okay...others were just lame. airtoons is much better.
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Female 57
lmao thts funny stuff
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Male 2,781
FUNNY SH`T
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Male 198
Where`s the one with "Invade a foreign country that had nothing to do with the terrorists"? Oh yeah, I forgot, that`s real life...
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Female 1,463
lol yer the vin d 1 was gd
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Male 177
THAT WAS FUNNY @$$ $#!T
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Female 211
I looked at airtoons.com and they had the some of the same pictures as this link, however, I thought this website had much more funny captions.
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Male 2,605
Hey now, Yanni kicks so much ass.
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Male 1,853
that was highlarious
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Male 27
Am I the only one that didn`t find it funny? (Guess so, eh?)
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Female 1,007
Haha! Loved it.
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Female 109
omg that was great. not what i expected at all. wonderful post.
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Female 18
sorry cant spell, and only joking bout my goverment!!
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Female 18
my goverment is so stupid that really is their way the respon to a terrorist attack :D
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Male 111
Funny, but a total rip off of airtoons.com...Which was way funnier.
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Female 1,697
this is the funniest thing I`ve seen on a while, it really made my laugh, now my stmomach hurts
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Female 229
Ahaha! Classic stuff!
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Male 1,014
LOL terrorist arrow, that one was great!
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Female 815
Lmao XD Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you see this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes then run the f*** away
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Male 70
Hahah, those were all really good. I like the one where he`s bigger than the door and the contact lens.
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Female 576
lol those werea ll really funny
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Female 223
Wow, great post. I laughed so hard.
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Male 437
that was funny!!!
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Male 1,586
Oh, don`t joke about global warming, but go ahead and yuck it up over terrorist attacks.
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Female 3,001
roflmfao!!!!!!!!!!......that was soooo funny hahahaha had me and my m8s in hysterics
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Female 109
Very funny! :-)
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Male 80
omg thats so funny
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Male 109
repost
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Male 188
The contact lens one made me laugh more than I have for ages!
The pin the arrow one was really funny as well. Hehe
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Female 228
loveeeeeeeed it! :D
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Male 53
I think those came out after 9/11, but they`re still funny.
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Male 77
i love the "pin the arrow against the wall one".
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Female 665
hahah that was hilarious!
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Male 99
I`ve seen that website a few times over the last couple of years, but each time it still brings tears to my eyes.
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Female 136
Old.. but funny all the same :-)
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Female 339
LMAO :-> very funny
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Female 316
I can`t breathe, I`m laughing so hard! Vin Diesel was great, so was the Michael Jackson one.
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Male 382
Haha that`s excellent!
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Male 2,567
Lol
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Male 803
"repost, but it still made me laugh!!"

...it`s not a repost

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Female 430
Loved it..
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Male 144
repost, but it still made me laugh!!
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Male 401
A bit old but still hilarious.
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Female 17
that was as funny as anything,the best one was the blow**b one :D
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Male 34
My favorite was the mutant one. :)

The Vin Diesel one was good, though.

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Male 108
Yup those were all funny to me... at least to a certain degree... but yeah I like the vindiesel and BlowJ** one haha
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Female 583
God that was so funny
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Female 205
Rather humorous. The Vin Diesel one was probably the best.
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Male 379
*bar*
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Male 379
*writes them down,then finds them pointless and goes and gets a candy bae*
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Male 623
roflmao i love that kind of stuff
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Male 2,486
Hahah
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Male 20
Funniest thing I`ve ever seen on the net!
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Male 1,496
The Vin Diesel one was great and so was the karate chop doors open.
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Female 211
I thought the Vin Diesel one was great.
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Female 1,972
^^^ I was just thinking that too chestertheje.
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Male 605
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Male 605
reminds me of that airtoons site...

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Female 660
hahaha funny
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Female 660
couldn`t help but slightly laughed
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Male 25
Link: What to do in a terrorist attack [Rate Link] - Apparently, our government has some interesting perspectives on how to respond.
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