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62 Comments - View/Add
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Rating: 3.8
Category: Funny
Date: 08/09/06 02:15 AM

62 Responses to Guidelines for Cats

  1. Profile photo of buddy
    buddy Male 30-39
    10116 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:14 am
    Link: Guidelines for Cats - The rules that cats follow.
  2. Profile photo of chestertheje
    chestertheje Male 13-17
    605 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:18 am
    "When a string is dragged under a newspaper or throw rug, it magically becomes the Paper/Rug Mouse and should be killed at all costs. Take care, though. Humans are sneaky and will try to make you lose your dignity. "


    Hehe...stupid, simple things make me laugh...

  3. Profile photo of chestertheje
    chestertheje Male 13-17
    605 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:19 am
    kinda like this...


  4. Profile photo of -NeonCarrot-
    -NeonCarrot- Male 13-17
    1496 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:23 am
    QUADPOST!! ^^

    haha that was the least funniest things i`ve seen in a long time. by the way i just beat SUPER MARIO 64 ALL 120 STARS IN A COUPLE OF HOURS!

  5. Profile photo of Delayclose
    Delayclose Male 40-49
    9 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:30 am
    is it caturday yet?
  6. Profile photo of kenthegod
    kenthegod Male 13-17
    379 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:31 am
    why do the links suck?
  7. Profile photo of MagicMoose
    MagicMoose Male 13-17
    623 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:31 am
    lmao chestertheje wth?
    and when am i EVER going to need these? EVER?
  8. Profile photo of Tyrizzle
    Tyrizzle Male 18-29
    908 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:32 am
    I really dont like cats...
    They are always outside my window meowing...
    So i spray them with hoses
    muahha
    im evil
    yes
  9. Profile photo of Yumiii
    Yumiii Female 13-17
    1382 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:35 am
    Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

    BWAHAHA that is so true, only my puppy uses the catdoor :P

  10. Profile photo of Razamire
    Razamire Female 18-29
    660 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:36 am
    uhm
  11. Profile photo of FeeFee
    FeeFee Female 18-29
    583 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:46 am
    For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.

    LOL hilarious..and so true

  12. Profile photo of LellersD
    LellersD Female 13-17
    4 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 3:08 am
    All of those...SO TRUE.
  13. Profile photo of Rivey
    Rivey Female 18-29
    88 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 3:12 am
    that was a cute post and cat owners will understand 100 percent!! I loved the part about convincing the owner that you are starving to death bit.. thats totally my cat.. probably why he gets fed 10 times a day lol
  14. Profile photo of Gleeballs
    Gleeballs Female 18-29
    850 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 3:15 am
    this is drating stupid. we`re not ALL creepy people who have ten cats. What`s with the lame animal posts lately? Let`s all eat the animals. I would look at a link that was dedicating to eating cats.
  15. Profile photo of cruxshadows
    cruxshadows Female 18-29
    2144 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 4:35 am
    I Loved This Link, It`s Very True. Cute!
  16. Profile photo of bubbles2005
    bubbles2005 Female 13-17
    57 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 5:15 am
    Did anyone else notice that in the Humans section there were four primary functions for humans instead of the stated three? Otherwise, it was very true. Gleeballs, I have one cat and I`m not...Ok well maybe I am creepy, but moving on, one cat is enough to know that most of the listed things are what cats do all of the time.
  17. Profile photo of Smudgie
    Smudgie Female 18-29
    52 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 7:39 am
    Some of these were actually pretty accurate, especially the ones about standing in the doorway and lying across the book.
  18. Profile photo of wauwa1983x
    wauwa1983x Female 18-29
    811 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 8:09 am
    Aww, I want a kitten.
  19. Profile photo of AOD-ninja
    AOD-ninja Female 13-17
    302 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 8:09 am
    so frikkin true its not even funny, lmao
  20. Profile photo of Pandasims
    Pandasims Female 18-29
    504 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 8:29 am
    hehe true, the bed mice bit is hilarious my cat never seems to understand
  21. Profile photo of KoRn_Rock9
    KoRn_Rock9 Male 13-17
    77 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 9:23 am
    the kig of the hill one has happened to me a few times. dam the cats and their "rules".
  22. Profile photo of Moodyblues
    Moodyblues Female 18-29
    340 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 10:48 am
    lol Isn`t this the truth?? My cat followes me everywhere!
  23. Profile photo of IAMMIZ
    IAMMIZ Female 13-17
    45 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 10:49 am
    meow! *stares at humans hungrily, immediately after eating several cans of cat food* yep, that`s my cat
  24. Profile photo of misscutieroo
    misscutieroo Female 18-29
    1944 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 11:13 am
    i tried to make my cat read this...but i guess she already knows this stuff....
  25. Profile photo of ruthless1990
    ruthless1990 Female 18-29
    3001 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 11:46 am
    hahahaha lmao...tht was funny and painfuly true all at the same time :-/
  26. Profile photo of thedoor92
    thedoor92 Male 13-17
    70 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 11:54 am
    Yeah, all cat owners will understand this one.
  27. Profile photo of Astera121
    Astera121 Female 13-17
    59 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 12:00 pm
    "Always sleep on the human at night so s/he cannot move around."

    My cats always do this...

  28. Profile photo of Gleeballs
    Gleeballs Female 18-29
    850 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 12:00 pm
    I still can`t get over how gay you people are. HAWHAW SOOO TRUE!!! CAT OWNERS WILL UNDERSTAND! SO FUNNEEE.
  29. Profile photo of bionicRod
    bionicRod Male 30-39
    1014 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 12:17 pm
    I hate cats.
  30. Profile photo of Overmann
    Overmann Male 18-29
    2600 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 12:49 pm
    Not as funny or cute as the e-mail forward I received listing the methodology cats employ in controlling humans.
  31. Profile photo of LochNess-Abz
    LochNess-Abz Female 13-17
    815 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 12:49 pm
    My cat believes in the Bed Mouse :-| It hurts.
  32. Profile photo of ne028
    ne028 Male 18-29
    889 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 1:03 pm
    I`m American I`m not going to read that..
  33. Profile photo of FudgeSundae
    FudgeSundae Female 18-29
    101 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:02 pm
    "I still can`t get over how gay you people are. HAWHAW SOOO TRUE!!! CAT OWNERS WILL UNDERSTAND! SO FUNNEEE."

    Dammit, I knew all cat lovers were homosexual.

    My cat follows most of the rules, esp. bed mice. Now I know what he`s been up to when I catch him at the computer at 3am.

  34. Profile photo of Omgroflwtf
    Omgroflwtf Male 13-17
    510 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:35 pm
    LMFAO!!!

    *COUGH*That is far by one of the least funniest links i`ve ever read.*COUGH*

  35. Profile photo of twizzler01
    twizzler01 Female 18-29
    552 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 2:55 pm
    this is so true
  36. Profile photo of bullshiznit0
    bullshiznit0 Male 13-17
    177 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 3:07 pm
    and the oriental rug thing...completely true
    cat thinking* tile or rug? yea ill take the rug
  37. Profile photo of WistfulEarth
    WistfulEarth Female 18-29
    163 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 3:32 pm
    Ha! Bed mice!
  38. Profile photo of AFTERSHOCK
    AFTERSHOCK Male 18-29
    2782 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 3:58 pm
    MAN WHEN THEY DART UNDER YOUR FEET AND YOU HAVE TO LIKE MAKE A CRAZY ASS JUMP SO AS NOT TO STEP ON THEM
  39. Profile photo of dutchgrl22
    dutchgrl22 Female 13-17
    3 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 4:09 pm
    They forget to mention that if a cat figures out how to turn on your tv, beware. My sister`s cat Pedro figured it out. He also figured out how to turn on the lights. He enjoyed doing that at night right after we got into bed. (There was also an article in the paper about how one cat kept buying pay-per-view videos, but that wasn`t Pedro.)
  40. Profile photo of kristun666
    kristun666 Female 18-29
    214 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 4:21 pm
    ^^^ ha ha...i`m glad my cat hasn`t figured out how to order pay-per-view.....i might have to get rid of her then....
  41. Profile photo of ryan14
    ryan14 Male 13-17
    2057 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 4:27 pm
    my cat could only figure out how to meow, and he has trouble with THAT, mainly just sounding like a broken lawnmower
  42. Profile photo of zomgimonfire
    zomgimonfire Female 18-29
    582 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 4:34 pm
    i think mitzi, maverick and molly have read this before
  43. Profile photo of goatfish
    goatfish Male 18-29
    47 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 4:52 pm
    these are all true. its scary.
  44. Profile photo of GoogleIsGod
    GoogleIsGod Female 13-17
    46 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 4:55 pm
    my cat`s favorite trick is to sniff at her full bowl of cat food, then walk in front of me and my computer, refusing to eat from the bowl unless I, myself, reach over and shake the bowl for her.

    This link is so damn true.

  45. Profile photo of Schooler90
    Schooler90 Male 18-29
    598 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 5:17 pm
    wow, thats funny for people that own cats. But I dont, so... that sucked!
  46. Profile photo of pieratepie
    pieratepie Female 13-17
    4 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 6:08 pm
    well i know totally how to become a cat!
    i will be the GREATEST cat in the history of the world!!
  47. Profile photo of Gleeballs
    Gleeballs Female 18-29
    850 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 6:12 pm
    I wish a cat would figure out to shoot itself in the head, then there`d be one less cat
  48. Profile photo of KingofFreaks
    KingofFreaks Male 18-29
    123 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 7:44 pm
    The only human guideline is we have guns. Use on cats at all costs.
  49. Profile photo of kaccoon
    kaccoon Female 30-39
    26 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 8:11 pm
    Very boring and not funny. Who ever wrote this wasn`t very good, I had to re-read some parts to understand what they trying to say.
  50. Profile photo of jhonmayer1
    jhonmayer1 Male 18-29
    1289 posts
    August 9, 2006 at 11:44 pm
    i hate cats...and those are some of the reasons.....
  51. Profile photo of brokensoftly
    brokensoftly Female 13-17
    16 posts
    August 10, 2006 at 2:38 am
    My cat happens to do almost all of this.
    Stupid thing. xD I love him.
  52. Profile photo of bomoman
    bomoman Male 13-17
    216 posts
    August 10, 2006 at 7:20 am
    try the pencil gleeballs
  53. Profile photo of jennwisner
    jennwisner Female 18-29
    165 posts
    August 10, 2006 at 9:58 am
    "When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted."

    I just got down house-sitting two cats, and damn, if this isn`t the truest statement I`ve ever read...

  54. Profile photo of hovalady411
    hovalady411 Female 18-29
    1262 posts
    August 10, 2006 at 11:22 am
    As mentioned above, in order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good, especially if it contrasts with your fur color. If it`s in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the better. Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the disadvantages of being seasonal and dependent on current and previous weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise.

    That IS my cat. I`ll come to sit at the computer and he will be in the chair and refuses to move. Then I cant close the windows because he`s sleeping in them.

    I completely understand this. Half these things my Kouga does and the other half he tries his best to do.

  55. Profile photo of Viktorija
    Viktorija Female 18-29
    420 posts
    August 10, 2006 at 7:49 pm
    ah, my cats don`t act like that!
  56. Profile photo of bubba_gum
    bubba_gum Male 13-17
    278 posts
    August 11, 2006 at 4:01 am
    lol that was some funny and cute stuff =).
  57. Profile photo of jjcruiser13
    jjcruiser13 Female 18-29
    706 posts
    August 11, 2006 at 4:52 pm
    This. is so. mother. f*cking. true.
  58. Profile photo of elyse_42
    elyse_42 Female 18-29
    344 posts
    August 12, 2006 at 10:01 pm
    haha so true and king of the hill i get three cats playin` ;P
  59. Profile photo of 7451
    7451 Male 70 & Over
    1478 posts
    August 13, 2006 at 12:19 pm
    That is so true... i have a cat. the whole section on doors describes my cat so perfectly.

    here`s some piccies of him!!!
    http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6308/...
    http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6308/...
    http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6308/...

  60. Profile photo of mistykat78
    mistykat78 Female 13-17
    76 posts
    August 14, 2006 at 12:05 pm
    This is SSSOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!! Although my cat`s favorite place to lay is places the SAME color as her fur, so she gets sat on and then picked up and comforted.
  61. Profile photo of evilempress1
    evilempress1 Female 13-17
    416 posts
    March 18, 2007 at 8:09 pm
    "Sharpening your claws on a human is not recommended." My cat does that. OUCH!!

  62. Profile photo of evilempress1
    evilempress1 Female 13-17
    416 posts
    March 18, 2007 at 8:12 pm
    Then again, my cat is a retard...

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