Free Breast Exam Hoax

Submitted by: buddy 10 years ago
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/local/states/florida/counties/broward_county/14380228.htm

If a dirty old man claiming to be a doctor comes to your door offering a free exam, be warned.
There are 76 comments:
Male 221
... I got a 404 error
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Female 13
wow.
wow, wow, wow.
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Male 52
And to timak, you should just hope to hell that karma doesn`t exsit. Because it will screw you in the ass so hard that your head would spin.

^^Who is this karma fellow, and where do I get in line. :-D

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Female 2,552
Of course! Why call 911 when you can call BSO?
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Female 226
Makes you wish they`d do something more idiotic and get a Darwin Award.

Someone, please, bring back natural selection.

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Male 561
Two women accepted the exams? wow!
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Female 879
I cannot beleive that there are women like this, how have they survived for so long already? There are much more difficult decisions to make everyday besides "hmmm, should I let this weird man in to squeeze my boobs?"-these women are raising other humans for christ sake!
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Female 286
Seriosly there are sum sick bast-ards out there.
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Male 349
lol this is my home town :)
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Male 3
Holy sh*t!!!

... He`s either quite clever or they`re pretty f*cking dumb...

Hm... Interesting how easy it is for some people to say they love someone... Ah, well.

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Female 706
Ok, creepy old guy.
And to timak, you should just hope to hell that karma doesn`t exsit. Because it will screw you in the ass so hard that your head would spin.
Whether or not you love her, or whether or not it`s a good relationship, you`re making her whole life a pathetic lie. She`s desperately clinging onto nothing.
But whatever. Maybe she deserves it.
But maybe you`re just a pathetic f ucker.
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Female 161
I can see it now.
*old man walks to the door*
"`cuse me ma`am but have you had your breast examed, I am a doctor and have the bag to prove it! now it you`ll just let me in ,lift up your shirt, and put on some soft music we can get started."

The women who feel for this must be real dumb*sses.

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Male 110
could it be that I love her and won`t admit it? No. I have grown fond of her, and I would be lonely if we were to break up. But I`d get over it quick. But to quote Forrest Gump. "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is" I have loved and lost, but right now I don`t love at all. I do like her a lot as a person.

She asks me all the time if I think she is fat, or if her pants make her ass look big. I say no. That is as much as a lie as me telling her I love her. There is no difference even though a lot of women don’t want to admit it.

I really don`t like how this has become a blog about me not loving my girlfriend, and I really didn`t mean to turn it into that, but people started attacking me, and my natural reaction is to defend.
As much as I would love to stick around and analyze my feelings further with all you folks, I do have a life after work. So off I go. Fare yee well people

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Male 429
hurray for stupid people... or is it hooray? I hate those questions
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Male 356
Lucky perv, stupid woman.
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Male 452
lol a 76 year old man feeling boobs - priceless.
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Male 1,265
On the other hand, timak may just really want to get his freak on with his girl, and she goes "Not till you say it", so he says "I love you" and they screw. I really don`t know anything about you timak, and I`m really not pretending to, but lying to someone to get what you want to someone who, as you say, loves you so much is kinda wrong.

Anyways, I took a breast exam once and failed.

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Female 578
sad sad sad, did their mother`s not teach them not to talk to strangers?
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Female 427
Im sorry im goign to take timak`s side on this one

You wouldn`t lie about loving her and try to make her happy if you didn`t love her.

I am positive that you really do love her and you wont admit it.

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Female 963
Hahahahahaha.
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Female 94
OMR that is the stupidest thing i have ever heard those women should be STONED (hehe makes me very sad to know I live only 2 hours away from Miami hmm definately not opening any doors for strangers anymore n_~) and btw can we drop the whole Timak thing? I don`t really give a rats ass about this so please drop it what he does in his personal life is his own business
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Female 221
I`m tempted to argue with timak, but then again I`m not. so here goes (don`t give me any bullcrap) If you tell your girlfriend you love her and you don`t that`s lying. If she has a fat ass and you don`t tell her that`s not lying. So that`s kinda a medium relationship. And please stop bragging timak, I HATE that. Yes, we know you have a great job, and get sex all the time, and a house bigger than you can use that`s paid for. And you get paid for sitting around and typing for fun. That`s all just wonderful. but you know, there`s millions of people who want to be you,timak, in Africa and such, and be able to do the things you do, but aren`t able to. Why not take some of your leftover money and help to at LEAST feed them. Not trying to bring you down. [/bullcrap rant/rave]
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Female 92
wow. just.... wow.
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Male 110
^ Hah! How little you know boy.

I have a great job. In fact I have been getting paid quite a bit to sit here and mess with you guys all afternoon. My personal life is full of enjoyable activities, and I have a house bigger than I can use that is already paid for. How many 29 yr olds can say that?

I am already somewhere.

Stick with what you know son, and attach yourself back to your mothers nipple.

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Male 1,420
well, timak, its a good thing all you think about is sex. because if you had real human thoughts you might acctually get somewhere in life.
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Male 1,521
Stupid Women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 76 year old mand ofering to rub your tits for free and they say yes? Idiots they are owned! Deserve it for their poor judgment!
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Male 163
I don`t think they should arrest the "doctor". In fact, they should give him an award for such a creative idea. And I think they should arrest the two women. I mean, come on, how stupid could you be?
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Male 110
Judge me all you want. Call me what you will. It bothers me not one bit. I have been called worse than what you can post here.:-D
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Male 2,600
Cindy, sometimes there`s just no arguing with the mindless idiots that plague society. In my eye, Timak is as good an example of one as any.
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Female 531
Timak, just so you know, you can`t have things like that as your avy. That`s why it keeps disappearing.
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Female 9
Geez, leave the poor guy (timak) alone... It is HIS relationship and HIS problem. It shouldn`t matter to you, as long as there is no abuse or law breaking.

Anyways, back to teh topic about the hoax...

IT`S HILARIOUS! :D I can`t believe women can be soo stupid! That old guy is my new hero! Seriously! He must be really clever. Of course even though he`s my new hero I ain`t letting him get closer to me than 10 meters. :D

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Male 1,406
When I`m old and don`t care if I go to jail I`m SO doing this.
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Male 110
Manicstoive, we get along, and have great sex... why wouldn`t I stay with her...

So what if I don`t love her, and she has a big ass. It doesn’t really bother me. Like I said I am content. I am also comfortable with our life together. Everything I lie about are unimportant details.

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Male 110

Eh, I know she lies to me about quite a few little things. BUT I know for a fact she is monogamous, and she dedicates all of her spare time to me. I do the same... I`d say we have a better relationship than 95% of the other couples out there. We are happy being around each other, and we screw like rabbits after 9 years together. There is a good reason to hold back the truth to spare the other person`s feelings.

Are you guys done trying to play Dr. Phil with my relationship? I bet mine is better than yours.

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Male 1,030
can I feel your tee-tons? can I smell your feet? can I see your hay-nanny-nanny? Normal people say no. Dumba$$es say yes.
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Male 632
Maybe those women were just ugly sluts that wanted some.
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Male 904
Timak mate,if all you`ve said is true, wtf are you still doing with her? Is it a dare or a favour or summat?
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Female 123
pretty clever old perverted coot, i`d say...


we all lie in one way or another, to whom other, for whatever the reason,...some are just better than others at it and we call them sociopaths...well, hopefully your girlfriend isn`t lieing to you....no, she`d never do that....

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Male 110
Well, I DO have a nice c*ck, and I know for damn sure she has multiple orgasms with me every time.. You can`t fake the kind she has... heh. Other than that, I don`t really care what she lies about.

She really does love me, and that’s why I`m still with her. She would do anything for me, and I go out of my way to make her happy and satisfied. What’s the big deal if I tell her what she wants to hear to have a better relationship.. I don’t cheat on her, and I don’t abuse her. She has it good… So what if I don’t “actually” love her. I am ‘content’ with her. I have a feeling it wouldn’t be so fun if I told her that after each time she said “I love you”

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Female 531
The other choice is "dating". You could have chosen that one.
Yknow, did your girl ever tell you that you have a nice c*ck? Or that she actually had an orgasm with you? Guess what? Two can play the "lie" game.
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Male 110
Holy crap! Telling my girlfriend something that she wants to hear makes me an immoral MONSTER!!! I suppose since I DON`T tell her she`s fat that makes me immoral too. I mean, she IS fat, but I don`t tell her that...

So what you are saying is that since I tell my girlfriend that I love her, that she isn`t fat, and that she is gorgeous, that makes me a horrible immoral person…. Great reasoning..

Crap, Maybe I should go tell her the truth right now and say “Baby I don`t love you, YES all pants make your ass look big, and you aren`t in my top 5000 list of good looking girls.” That would make me a HERO!!
God you guys are so great. Thanks for the awesome relationship advice. I bet Karma will reward me for telling the entire truth by making my girlfriend love me even more, and put out twice as much!!

BTW I`m not married therefore I`m single.

You guys are idiots. Why don’t you turn your head to the right and read my avatar…

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Male 213
Only in Miami...
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Female 531
[quote]On 4/21/2006 1:20:49 PM timak wrote: I lie to my girlfriend every day by telling her I love her just so I can grope her tits and touch her pussy... Does that make me a criminal? No, just an average guy. [/quote]
Your profiles says your single. Either you`re a liar, or a jerk. It`s ok, though, because Karma doesn`t like stuff like this and will bite your ass extra hard.
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Male 4,014
And if there is a hell, there is a special seat reserved just for you and your ilk, with one special red-hot poker to shove right up your ass, so you can finally pay for all of your immoral acts. Too bad there probably isn`t a hell, and that only your conscience may serve to correct your misdeeds. The problem with that is that a proper conscience can exist only in properly functioning brains, and if you are inclined to immoral acts, you probably lack the nessecary synapses to realize what a horrible person you are. Read what you wrote, I hope you were joking.
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Male 4,014
^No, not average, it makes you Immoral. Telling your GF you love her, when you know you don`t, means you are a soul-less, uncaring person, who hopefully, oneday, will pay for your lack of integrity. Violating someone`s trust, with wanton disregard for their feelings, just to get your nut on, means you are a horrible person. Does it happen often? Yep. So does rape, and theft, and infidelity, and murder. Using the "everybody does it, its no big deal" excuse is shallow and lame.

But before you convince yourself that you are "average," don`t lose sight that you are in fact immoral.

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Male 110
I lie to my girlfriend every day by telling her I love her just so I can grope her tits and touch her pussy... Does that make me a criminal?

No, just an average guy.

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Male 110
This guy is my hero. There is nothing wrong with what he did... it was all consensual.

You can say It was under false pretences.. SO WHAT!! Every guy that tries to pick up a woman and sleep with her get there by lying his ass off it is completely normal behavior!!
How many men have told a woman they are a doctor in a bar just to get them to spread their legs? Thousands I’m sure… this is the same damn thing!

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Male 2,600
...Why didn`t I think of that?
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Male 2,510
i be the master of the hoax!
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Female 174
That is kinda messed up, but also pretty funny because the women were stupid enough to let some random guy claiming to be a doctor come in and fondle their boobs. I don`t even answer the door for people I don`t know, much less let them in for ANY reason. Haha, I wonder how he came up with the idea. And I wonder what he did when men answered the door... Haha.

P.S.> mikallang, love your avatar... Viva la Revolucion!!!

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Male 4,014
The fact that a few women were willing to do it, just goes to prove that the world is full of very stupid people. The best part is, one women got "suspicious" when he performed a gynological exam WITH NO GLOVES!!! SUSPICOUS?! How about pissed off!!!! Jesus, people are drating idiots, and perverts. Not all, but some.
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Male 1,478
They would have to be really stupid, they deserved it.

"Hi, i`m going door to door touching peoples boobs!"

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Male 53
Hello, I`m a doctor...uh...a breast examiner...and a gynocologist...Mind if I take a look at what you`ve got there? You understand, I may have to do some probing. o:-)
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Female 529
That was a bit stupid... "Trust me, I`m a doctor, I have a doctor`s bag to prove it. Look at my doctor`s bag."
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Female 1,463
wat stupid woman
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Male 314
Actually, I was thinking of going door to door offering prostate exams.
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Male 233
lol funny story - kind gives me an idea

ANY FOR BREAST EXAMS ?

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Male 737
*Ding Dong*

Hello, Miss....

Um, hi? What d`you want?

Hee hee *dribble* I like the taste of your body...may I examine it?

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Male 363
Hahaha. Yeah, this is one of the few instances where woman are subconsiously allowing themselves to be victimised. You gotta know the guy is fake, going door to door offering breast exams? What the hell man?
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Male 1,385
What`s next? Ding dong "I`m here to give you your free anal exam" lol
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Male 904
I`ll check breasts!!!

Erm, don`t women have their own GPs anyway? Not saying anyone deserves to be sexually assaulted but christ, this reaches a new level of stupidity.

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Male 106
the woman should also be locked up for being retarded
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Female 25
How bright do you have to be to realize doctor`s don`t make house calls like that? And would you not ask for I.d? Honestly!
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Male 567
now thats a good idea that man is a kniky 1 tho
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Female 206
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha. this is to funny. i have friends that would totally fall for this. fishtaco.
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Male 52
lol ths fxin hillareas, hi im a doctor i wanna grope ya boobs and feal ya pussy an its ok coz im jus an old doctor (slobers on the tits)

^^This is the future? If so, I might as well just jump off a bridge right now. Is he the end result of what the European education system has to offer. I hope, for our futures sake, it was just one too many drugs.

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Male 1,265
poo, they caught me.
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Female 133
Ahahahaha, what a perv. Seriously.
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Male 1,115
jeez, docters dont make house calls anymore so Y LET HIM IN!?!?!?
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Female 146
Argh! This kinda crap pisses me off! Arrest those women, too. That man is a bastard, but why do people allow themselves to be so stupid?!
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Male 84
I saw this on Tv, that dudes my hero, he should get a medal. If your stupid enough to fall for it you desrve it. People need to get some common sense, maybe I should try selling it on ebay.
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Female 43
he was 76!! Couldn`t they have fought him off? This is hysterical.
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Male 923
I hope that any man or woman stupid enough to fall for any sort of hoax this obvious dies a horrible death soon after. Children are our future and if that be the case we don`t want the idiots breeding and leaving their idiotic kids to care for our future -_-
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Male 220
Dumb women. "Ding-Dong." Hi, I`m a Doctor. I`d like to squeeze your boobs.
Um, okay come on in, wait hey! That`s not my boob! His jail buddies are gonna laugh.
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Male 610
too freaking funy...AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER..FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRSSSSSSSSSSSSST POST!!! =D
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Male 10,115
Link: Free Breast Exam Hoax [Rate Link] - If a dirty old man claiming to be a doctor comes to your door offering a free exam, be warned.
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