The best in arts & entertainment, news, pop culture, and your mom since 2002.

[Total: 106    Average: 2.6/5]
64 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 45382
Rating: 2.6
Category: Funny
Date: 03/07/06 02:32 AM

64 Responses to Women`s Rules for Men

  1. Profile photo of phroedoux
    phroedoux Male 18-29
    363 posts
    March 6, 2006 at 10:23 pm
    Link: Women`s Rules for Men - Not as funny as the guy`s rules, but there you have them.
  2. Profile photo of madox
    madox Male 18-29
    45 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 2:35 am
    deadlink ..
  3. Profile photo of Surrysounds
    Surrysounds Male 18-29
    118 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 2:43 am
    That was pretty lame. Certainly wasn`t funny.
  4. Profile photo of cruxshadows
    cruxshadows Female 18-29
    2144 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 2:46 am
    Always Boxers Boys! Always.
  5. Profile photo of Osprey39
    Osprey39 Male 18-29
    1408 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 3:03 am
    I don`t think a single one of those rules was reasonable.
  6. Profile photo of PrKitty
    PrKitty Female 18-29
    370 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 3:54 am
  7. Profile photo of PrKitty
    PrKitty Female 18-29
    370 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 4:12 am
    Finally loaded...

    ""Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Bitch" are bad." < Are you sure? lol i like this one.

    As for mostly all of them...it sounds like demands and stupid rules. As a women, I would not want to be told i`m not fat, when I am. I would want to be told the truth. These are rules from the stupid women who think they belong in the kitchen bare foot and pregnant. Idiots who wrote that...

  8. Profile photo of nursesue
    nursesue Female 30-39
    175 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 4:17 am
    wtf - does not load
  9. Profile photo of JonKemper
    JonKemper Male 18-29
    143 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 4:33 am
    dead link, fed up of stuff like this getting posted, especially when its dead. my links never get posted
  10. Profile photo of mikallang
    mikallang Male 18-29
    611 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 4:41 am
    loads for some not for others...meh wont waste my time.
  11. Profile photo of Toogs
    Toogs Male 18-29
    32 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 4:48 am
    Second and 48th rule is "Don`t lie," but several others encourage you to tell her things whether they`re true or not.
  12. Profile photo of GanjaMan
    GanjaMan Male 18-29
    99 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 5:39 am
    That helped me make up my mind to dump my girlfriend. THANK YOU to whoever posted this!!!!
  13. Profile photo of Emzy_RFC
    Emzy_RFC Female 18-29
    77 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 7:13 am
    I am female and even i think that is complicated. If some women weren`t insecure then most relationships would proberly work out. I agree with the one about if you want to break up just say and the do not lie one. But most of them are just rubbish proberlly written by insecure women that have jusy been dumped and think men are scum of the earth. Lets face it we need men and we love it when we have them and hate it when we dont so why make it hard?
  14. Profile photo of silvernano
    silvernano Male 18-29
    179 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 7:38 am
    UTTER BULLSH*T!!
  15. Profile photo of mrbaliw
    mrbaliw Male 18-29
    223 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 7:43 am
    ...anyone else yawned while reading this list?
  16. Profile photo of b3nzyme
    b3nzyme Male 18-29
    279 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 8:08 am
    dead link
  17. Profile photo of jimbodahobo
    jimbodahobo Male 13-17
    371 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 8:26 am
    as my dad once said to my mom when she talked about the pain of giving birth to me and how he owes her...."Ever get part of you stuck in your zipper?"
  18. Profile photo of 0verclock3d
    0verclock3d Male 13-17
    230 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 8:32 am
    Some of them gave me a giggle, but they`re not as good as guy rules. Guy rules actually concerned real issues, these were just stereotypical demands.
  19. Profile photo of Wafer
    Wafer Male 18-29
    39 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 8:43 am
    I seriously want to uppercut the person who wrote: The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that
    she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your a$$
    smoking cigars isn`t fair either, and it balances everything.

    That`s one of the dumbest things I`ve ever heard.

  20. Profile photo of contragirl
    contragirl Female 18-29
    90 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 8:53 am
    Okay, so those were pretty lame. Not funny, didn`t even bring a smile to my face. How sad.

    But not to be overly pessimistic...
    42. Think boxers.
    43. Silk boxers.
    I did like those two.

  21. Profile photo of King_Topple
    King_Topple Male 13-17
    76 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 9:19 am
    lol stereotypical-i actually did do the one about being a jerk but now we`re "friends"- i learned my lesson
  22. Profile photo of tambourine33
    tambourine33 Male 18-29
    168 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 9:27 am
    Trust me, gentlemen, there are no generic rules for women. Us guys are simple creatures. We like cars, sports, beer and sex. If a man has these four things in his life then chances are he is a happy dude. Especially if the getting of one does not impair the other three, if you know what I mean.

    The fairer sex on the other hand are much more complex, demanding and mysterious and require much more maintenance and attention from the their partners.

    It not a neccessarily a fault or faults on either side, its just the way we are!

  23. Profile photo of realblender
    realblender Male 18-29
    536 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 9:53 am
    im not a simple creature, and i dont like cars or beer... maybe we`re more complex than we`d wish admit :|
  24. Profile photo of Evil_Smurf
    Evil_Smurf Male 18-29
    716 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 10:07 am
    I think those were kind of funny... Doesn`t anyone think about this being.... A joke, perhaps?

    It`s MEANT to be stereotypical!

  25. Profile photo of unintrasting
    unintrasting Female 18-29
    1121 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 10:11 am
    i don`t know i think that was kind of dumb. I have seen this type of thing so many times on so many sites before that its not so funny after you have already seen it so many times.
  26. Profile photo of afromaggi
    afromaggi Female 18-29
    30 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 10:13 am
    a joke is meant to be funny, that was jst boring
  27. Profile photo of StarStrike
    StarStrike Female 13-17
    286 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 11:13 am
    Id just like the truth thanks
  28. Profile photo of SKASKASKASKA
    SKASKASKASKA Male 18-29
    213 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 11:30 am
    "Trust me, gentlemen, there are no generic rules for women. Us guys are simple creatures. We like cars, sports, beer and sex. If a man has these four things in his life then chances are he is a happy dude."

    well, scrap cars and sports for me :-)

  29. Profile photo of Baelzar
    Baelzar Male 40-49
    1399 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 11:48 am
    Not a good set; makes all women out to be insecure and demanding.

    I bet the women on i-a-b here could come up with a funnier and truer list.

  30. Profile photo of Naoscaire
    Naoscaire Male 18-29
    571 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 12:01 pm
    Damn I hate that sort of thing even when there is only slight element of truth in it. I know why I`m single... at 29!
  31. Profile photo of madmax11
    madmax11 Male 18-29
    733 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 12:34 pm
    unfortunately for us guys, most of those were true... why isnt there a load of Boys rules for Girls, now THAT would turn the tables!
  32. Profile photo of holt811
    holt811 Female 18-29
    45 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 1:15 pm
    jimbodahobo, to answer your dad`s question (which I take to mean, his man parts got stuck in a zipper which equalled the pain of childbirth), then yes, I`ve caught female parts in zippers (or corsets, or garter clips) and yes, it hurts but it`s no comparison to giving birth (or so my mom tells me...I`m hopeful I`ll go through childbirth soon though). Try squeezing a watermelon through your a$$hole. Then we`ll talk about comparing the pain. However, I don`t believe any woman who has been through childbirth should tell the man who got her in that situation that he "owes her". I mean, it takes two to tango, you know. But ultimately it is the woman who must endure the actual labor process, so men really should at the very least try to be sympathetic. Yes, women are multi-faceted creatures and I think any man able to appreciate our idiosyncracies deserves a big round of applause (and lots of sex...:) ).
  33. Profile photo of HideInTheSky
    HideInTheSky Male 13-17
    76 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 1:35 pm
    madmax11, there was one already posted here...
    aaanyways, didnt load for me.
  34. Profile photo of littleoracle
    littleoracle Female 30-39
    322 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 1:40 pm
    Tambourine, if thats what you think about women then you have yet to date a REAL woman. Trust me on that one Ð real women cant stand girls like that, all insecure and stupid.

    This is about women over 30 but its more true and less insulting in my opinion.

    Andy Rooney says, "As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

    A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesnt care what you think.

  35. Profile photo of littleoracle
    littleoracle Female 30-39
    322 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 1:41 pm
    If a woman over 30 doesnt want to watch the game, she doesnt sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And its usually something more interesting.

    A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what shes doing.

    Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they wont hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

  36. Profile photo of littleoracle
    littleoracle Female 30-39
    322 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 1:41 pm
    Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what its like to be unappreciated. A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesnt trust the guy with other women.

    Women over 30 couldnt care less if youre attracted to her friends because she knows her friends wont betray her.

    Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

  37. Profile photo of littleoracle
    littleoracle Female 30-39
    322 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 1:42 pm
    A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

    Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

    Older women are forthright and honest. Theyll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You dont ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

    Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, its not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

  38. Profile photo of Evil_Smurf
    Evil_Smurf Male 18-29
    716 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 2:21 pm
    ^^^^ Heheh.
  39. Profile photo of MikePiano
    MikePiano Male 18-29
    1425 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 2:33 pm
    i would NEVER lie, or cheat...well yea everyone lies, but never to my gf, wouldnt cheat on her either, shes just too beautiful to lose!
  40. Profile photo of jazzpup
    jazzpup Female 13-17
    33 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 2:55 pm
    Page cannot be displayed. Doesn`t sound like I`m missing much.
  41. Profile photo of pumpie2
    pumpie2 Female 13-17
    294 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 3:19 pm
    it wouldnt load :(
  42. Profile photo of electrolysis
    electrolysis Male 13-17
    12 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 3:29 pm
    wouldn`t load...

    and to holt811, i`d like to point out that the putting the watermelon up your bottom would be the easier party of your situation, getting things out is much more painfull... take my word... anyways I will have to try the watermelon thing so i can say i have some sort of cocept of childbirth, but i think i`ll take a sedative for the removal :P

    and the zipper problems nothing, try having it half ripped off because you had a bike acident, then we can talk about manly pains... :P

    I`m sorry if I`m too evil for you men out there, wait, no I`m not!

  43. Profile photo of sij
    sij Male 18-29
    10 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 3:34 pm
    "Us guys are simple creatures. We like cars, sports, beer and sex."

    I`m not bothered about those things, so I must be a complex creature. So being a complex creature there is only one thing I want and thats truckloads of money :-)

  44. Profile photo of roller_03
    roller_03 Male 18-29
    40 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 4:47 pm
    Did anyone else here find significance in the fact that that page seemed to take a reeeealy long time to load? I`m seeing a comparison there somewhere (ehem *females* ehem).
  45. Profile photo of BeatleAddict
    BeatleAddict Female 13-17
    226 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 5:17 pm
    Gah..4 browsers...link dead all times.
  46. Profile photo of unintrasting
    unintrasting Female 18-29
    1121 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 5:28 pm
    you all are gay.
  47. Profile photo of theshark350
    theshark350 Male 18-29
    429 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 5:30 pm
    sounds like I didn`t miss much...
  48. Profile photo of IceErines
    IceErines Female 18-29
    120 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 6:53 pm
    Funny tambourine33 wrote:
    Trust me, gentlemen, there are no generic rules for women. Us guys are simple creatures. We like cars, sports, beer and sex. If a man has these four things in his life then chances are he is a happy dude. Especially if the getting of one does not impair the other three, if you know what I mean.
    The fairer sex on the other hand are much more complex, demanding and mysterious and require much more maintenance and attention from the their partners.

    It not a necessarily a fault or faults on either side, its just the way we are!

    I write:

    I must be a man then because I like all of those too.
    Wow- another generalization of a whole sex based on one`s limited interaction with them...This is actually sad. I thought we had moved pass this type of sex-typing...

  49. Profile photo of IceErines
    IceErines Female 18-29
    120 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 6:56 pm
    ^ guess not...The list wouldn`t load for my either but that appears to be a good thing...lol
  50. Profile photo of badguy458
    badguy458 Male 18-29
    361 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 9:22 pm
    "you all are gay."


    And you`re an ugly whore.

  51. Profile photo of VilkusVoman
    VilkusVoman Female 18-29
    34 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 9:46 pm
    littleoracle, what you said is true, but it is also true for some (most certainly not all) of younger women. I do all of those things, minus the red lipstick, it doesnt look good on me.
    but my point is some people mature faster than others, and some never do. i myself am 21 and would still be the annoying teenager i hate (well, i hate all annoying teenagers) if i did not have my daughter.
    which brings me to my second point:
    baby does not feel like watermellon through the bum. you are usually dialated to 10 cm (4 inches or so) by the time you are ready for a vaginal delivery. i was lucky enough to get an epidural. instead of screaming at people between breaths, i was complimenting them and fixing the computer that was measuring my contractions.
    even the nurse said she had never seen anyone act the way i did.
    oh well
  52. Profile photo of xHerMajestyx
    xHerMajestyx Female 13-17
    4 posts
    March 7, 2006 at 10:32 pm
    yea, didnt load. if anyone wants to email it to me, plz do so. i`d like to read.
    tho i, personally, was described very well by the Men`s Rules (for Women) lol
  53. Profile photo of feech
    feech Male 18-29
    42 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 12:48 am
    Wow... what, women could only think of 50 things to tell us to do? that a first. But in classic woman fashion some of their reasons are repeated.
  54. Profile photo of silvernano
    silvernano Male 18-29
    179 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 7:52 am
    Spare us the details VilkusVoman!
  55. Profile photo of tambourine33
    tambourine33 Male 18-29
    168 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 9:11 am
    Hands up, Little-Oracle, you have my number on the not found a "real woman" yet. Im now in my late twenties and have only been with girls that I cannot figure out from one minute to the next. Maybe it is an insecurity due to age or maybe I just have bad taste in women, or maybe I AM just a jerk, but at least I am not one that is afraid to admit it.

    I made the joke about beer and football to raise a few laughs not as a serious psychoanalysis. If people think I am an non-nice individual because of one flip remark then fine, Im not going to lose sleep over it. I agree with you that women in their thirties are genarally more grounded and self-assured (to everyone, we, in our twenties and teens can be too) but, because of my own youth and immaturity, they have been way out of my league.

    Yes I like my four sins but I also read, enjoy theatre, opera and ballet inclusive. I run, I travel, I like good food and wine. I am becoming active in local politics.

  • Profile photo of tambourine33
    tambourine33 Male 18-29
    168 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 9:22 am
    So maybe I am a boring jerk with no idea about women and a crap sense of humour. At least I can say it and I have no intention of becoming your yellow panted, waitress chasing old man. Or a red-lipstick wearing Drag-queen for that matter. ;-)

  • Profile photo of silver_morn
    silver_morn Female 13-17
    33 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 10:59 am
    Wow, making blatant insults for no apparent reason is not cool. So stop it.

    Anyway, the bastards who commented on that site are probably either old, bald, and fat men who are divorced because they mistreated their partner or were never married at all.

    I don`t see you guys hating the Men`s Rules, yet you complain about these rules? Get a grip. It`s just a joke. I`m not going to follow your rules and you don`t have to follow these. Just be a civilized, kind, and understanding human being.

  • Profile photo of shishkabob
    shishkabob Male 13-17
    180 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 5:25 pm
    these rules SUCK! but sadly..... my gf makes me follow most of them :-( im so pathetic
  • Profile photo of jjcruiser13
    jjcruiser13 Female 18-29
    706 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 6:17 pm
    "Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation."
    That one struck me as true. Because whenever my b/f doesn`t tell me something I always have to know. Because I`m weird. But a lot of those I wouldn`t go by.
  • Profile photo of monkeydrumme
    monkeydrumme Female 13-17
    264 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 8:50 pm
    stupid stupid stupid i hate this no one is this stupid wait...............ok some people are
  • Profile photo of monkeydrumme
    monkeydrumme Female 13-17
    264 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 11:09 pm
    stupid stupid stupid i hate this no one is this stupid wait...............ok some people are
  • Profile photo of jkagatha
    jkagatha Female 18-29
    53 posts
    March 8, 2006 at 11:15 pm
    wow, more sexist crap. Seriously, is this stuff funny anymore?
  • Profile photo of Salkraps
    Salkraps Male 13-17
    110 posts
    March 9, 2006 at 8:09 pm
    That just wasn`t funny.... It was like a huge list of demands...
  • Profile photo of VilkusVoman
    VilkusVoman Female 18-29
    34 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 6:21 pm
    hey, silvernano, those were not details. Details go into what happened the 4 days i was in labor. and the bodily changes and whatnot.
  • Leave a Reply