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[Total: 449    Average: 3.9/5]
72 Comments - View/Add
Hits: 223103
Rating: 3.9
Category: Funny
Date: 03/10/06 02:39 AM

72 Responses to Chuck Norris on TV

  1. Profile photo of thepiglet
    thepiglet Male 13-17
    14 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 12:40 am
    Link: Chuck Norris on TV - He reads off his favorite Chuck Norris facts.
  2. Profile photo of Schlinger
    Schlinger Male 18-29
    161 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:54 am
    Chuck Norris is God
  3. Profile photo of SarahColleen
    SarahColleen Female 18-29
    1071 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:57 am
    I lost my virginity to chuck norris

    and now i have that sweet, sweet memory

  4. Profile photo of SammyFrank
    SammyFrank Male 18-29
    1030 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:59 am
    bfd - not a big fan.. although I have seen his infomercials..
  5. Profile photo of nanosdt
    nanosdt Male 18-29
    12 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:59 am
    this is just great humor, chuck norris making fun of himslef... just genious
  6. Profile photo of lordtyusa
    lordtyusa Male 30-39
    301 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 3:07 am
    I love thos Chuck Norris Facts!!! Chuck Norris doesn`t sleep...he waits!
  7. Profile photo of DaSniper44
    DaSniper44 Male 18-29
    44 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 3:18 am
    SarahColleen we got something in common.
  8. Profile photo of metallicblue
    metallicblue Female 18-29
    228 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 3:26 am
    chuck norris facts are hilarious. its one of the funniest things ever.
  9. Profile photo of SarahColleen
    SarahColleen Female 18-29
    1071 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 3:33 am
    DaSniper, lets start a club
  10. Profile photo of Aphecks
    Aphecks Male 18-29
    641 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 4:14 am
    Everyone has lost their virginity to Chuck Norris, it was so good no one can remember. What a great link. When I heard lawsuit I thought it was going to be the one about him suing bubble tape claiming that 6 feet of fun is the term that he used to describe his penis. Funny funny stuff.
  11. Profile photo of Sime_87
    Sime_87 Male 18-29
    23 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 7:58 am
    Chuck norris Rocks!
  12. Profile photo of master-gamer
    master-gamer Male 13-17
    65 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 8:19 am
    great not one of those stupied show things gone wronge!!!
  13. Profile photo of hatemelater
    hatemelater Male 13-17
    63 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 9:04 am
    ^What?
  14. Profile photo of gregor_samsa
    gregor_samsa Male 18-29
    462 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 9:06 am
    I kinda dislike Chuck Norris, but I like the facts.
  15. Profile photo of dani_chick
    dani_chick Female 18-29
    290 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 9:12 am
    Chuck Norris doesn`t use birth control...his sperm kills the egg. You gotta love Chuck. :)
  16. Profile photo of hillel_kitty
    hillel_kitty Female 18-29
    14 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 10:15 am
    did you notice that he was blushing?
  17. Profile photo of KnightmareOH
    KnightmareOH Male 18-29
    285 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 11:15 am
    Chuck Norris isn`t hung like a horse... Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  18. Profile photo of LBlues
    LBlues Male 18-29
    713 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 11:34 am
    Im suprised they didnt say my personal favorite:

    And the lord said "Let there be light," Chuck Norris then said "Say please!"

    But still quite funny.

  19. Profile photo of gcxj220
    gcxj220 Male 18-29
    616 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 11:40 am
    My favs:
    - Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
    - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and knew karate.
  20. Profile photo of VB05
    VB05 Male 18-29
    28 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 11:56 am
    lol funny, buy those weren`t the best ones. The best one IMO is "As a teenager Chuck Norris impregnated all the nuns at his church, and nine months later they all gave birth to the starting line up of the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated NFL team to date" haha (its something like that)
  21. Profile photo of farquaadhnch
    farquaadhnch Male 18-29
    1225 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:01 pm
    That was very amusing...
  22. Profile photo of Papapimpin
    Papapimpin Male 18-29
    528 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:34 pm
    Lol that was funny, i like-chuck norris doesnt need condoms, his sperm kills the egg. ( i know that was mentioned here just my fav)
  23. Profile photo of DMDekoth
    DMDekoth Male 70 & Over
    888 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:40 pm
    I forgot there was actually a real guy behind the jokes, and that he had nothing to do with em..
  24. Profile photo of SPrinkZ
    SPrinkZ Male 18-29
    2279 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 2:46 pm
    I <3 Chuck Norris`, he`s a bad actor but he`s funny as hell.
  25. Profile photo of qtran77
    qtran77 Female 13-17
    211 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 3:22 pm
    there are no such thing as shooting stars, just victims of chuck`s drop-kicks.
  26. Profile photo of Cyper
    Cyper Male 18-29
    98 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 3:25 pm
    "FACT : Chuck Norris does not consider it sex if the women survives."

    "There is no such thing as the theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live."

  27. Profile photo of glocktypus
    glocktypus Female 18-29
    430 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 3:44 pm
    We laugh at him, not with him
  28. Profile photo of jefro1311
    jefro1311 Male 13-17
    10 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 4:20 pm
    It is Rumored Chuck Norris Lost His Virginity Before His Father Did

    haha Chuck Norris is sooo cool

  29. Profile photo of i_rule_you
    i_rule_you Female 13-17
    358 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 4:26 pm
    Lol Not really into chuck norris but the facts are funny.
  30. Profile photo of danimal150
    danimal150 Male 18-29
    32 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 4:35 pm
    I love how Chuck`s favorite fact really isnt that funny compared to the others...
  31. Profile photo of Rammstein221
    Rammstein221 Male 13-17
    407 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 4:39 pm
    What was that studdering bit when he was "trying" to say number one. Methinks Chuck maybe illiterate. It doesn`t matter, Chuck Norris just has to yell at books and they read themselves.
  32. Profile photo of sporka
    sporka Female 18-29
    818 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 4:43 pm
    My life is complete. <3
  33. Profile photo of Killbot2000
    Killbot2000 Male 18-29
    124 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 5:24 pm
    "Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Chuck Norris loves you."

    Awww, I feel so loved. :)

  34. Profile photo of MikePiano
    MikePiano Male 18-29
    1425 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 5:38 pm
    lol ya know sooner or later these chuck norris jokes are gonna get old......JUST like everything else in this world, BUT for the time being...pure humor.
  35. Profile photo of USArmy3
    USArmy3 Male 18-29
    180 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 5:41 pm
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity.......... Twice.
  36. Profile photo of for_serious?
    for_serious? Female 13-17
    1403 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 5:56 pm
    Today is Chuck Norris` birthday. Not a fake fact. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUCK! Don`t kill me! I`ll bake you some manly cupcakes.
  37. Profile photo of HOBYandy
    HOBYandy Male 18-29
    3060 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 6:31 pm
    glocktypus: a roundhouse kick to the face will find and kill you in the night...
  38. Profile photo of Pretti-in-Pn
    Pretti-in-Pn Female 13-17
    429 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 7:47 pm
    lol love those chuck norris facts hehe
  39. Profile photo of RetroNess
    RetroNess Female 18-29
    118 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 7:47 pm
    Chuck Norris doesn`t go hunting. HE GOES KILLING.
  40. Profile photo of PrKitty
    PrKitty Female 18-29
    370 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 8:04 pm
    That was just drating great!
  41. Profile photo of h0ax_d3m0n
    h0ax_d3m0n Male 18-29
    2513 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 9:04 pm
    There is no chin under Chuck Norris` Beard. There is only another fist.

    If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

    Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

  42. Profile photo of h0ax_d3m0n
    h0ax_d3m0n Male 18-29
    2513 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 9:06 pm
    Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

    LOL

  43. Profile photo of aistofjays
    aistofjays Female 13-17
    7 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 9:30 pm
    My favorite: "74 percents of suicides are caused when people realize they are NOT Chuck Norris."
    And...
    "When faced with a difficult situation, Jesus asks himself, "What would Chuck Norris do?" "
    And...
    "Chuck Norris knows MacGyver`s first name."
    And any other involving Chuck Norris vs. MacGyver.
  44. Profile photo of Overmann
    Overmann Male 18-29
    2600 posts
    March 10, 2006 at 10:30 pm
    I`ll stick to my favorites:

    "Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head."

    "Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK`s head exploded out of sheer amazement."

    Happy 66th, Chuck. Try not to kill anyone today.

  45. Profile photo of aidious
    aidious Male 18-29
    348 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 1:21 am
    that dude is an old man. i could take him easy
  46. Profile photo of tourettes
    tourettes Male 18-29
    957 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 5:42 am
    Chuck Norris is pretty cool, but seriously, Nobody could take him. That means you, aidious.
  47. Profile photo of Custom_hobo
    Custom_hobo Male 13-17
    737 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 5:58 am
    Law and Order was a good one.

    But there are better ones out there.

  48. Profile photo of english_col
    english_col Male 18-29
    7 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 7:55 am
    Good old mr Norris sir
  49. Profile photo of petle_13
    petle_13 Female 13-17
    201 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 10:35 am
    Everybody loves Chuck Norris. If you don`t, he will hunt you down and kill you in broad daylight while everybody watches and cheers for Mr. Norris. Seriously.
  50. Profile photo of cannibal151
    cannibal151 Male 18-29
    1550 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 1:40 pm
    i dont even kno who chuck norris is
  51. Profile photo of CoinSpelunk
    CoinSpelunk Female 18-29
    3 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 1:51 pm
    My favorite Chuck Norris facts have to be

    "Chuck Norris can devide by zero."

    "Chuck Norris CAN believe it`s not butter."

    And finally...
    "Chuck Norris can find the sqaure root of a negative number."

  52. Profile photo of oldie
    oldie Male 13-17
    241 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 2:18 pm
    The presenter is so Annoying. I used to hate the facts but now I find them funny as hell.
  53. Profile photo of M3NACE
    M3NACE Male 18-29
    414 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 3:05 pm
    i have no idea who this chuck noris fellow is, but the `facts` are funny!
  54. Profile photo of iouaname673
    iouaname673 Female 18-29
    243 posts
    March 11, 2006 at 7:21 pm
    chuck norris isnt the only person who can find the square root of a negative number, anyone who went to highschool can as well.
  55. Profile photo of natkaz_99
    natkaz_99 Male 18-29
    101 posts
    March 12, 2006 at 2:24 am
    News flash: Chuck Norris sucks.
  56. Profile photo of pumpie2
    pumpie2 Female 13-17
    294 posts
    March 12, 2006 at 10:22 am
    hahahhaha!!!!!! chuck norris!!! pushes down the world!!! hahhahahahaha
  57. Profile photo of scraps
    scraps Male 13-17
    78 posts
    March 12, 2006 at 1:17 pm
    chuck norris`s favorite color is black. in fact, he invented black. in fact, he invented every color. except pink. tom cruise, invented pink.
  58. Profile photo of halifax_girl
    halifax_girl Female 18-29
    2244 posts
    March 13, 2006 at 1:43 am
    What a great guy.
  59. Profile photo of petle_13
    petle_13 Female 13-17
    201 posts
    March 13, 2006 at 10:10 am
    Lol, scraps. Tom Cruise is a prick... ha ha...
  60. Profile photo of Jake-BackMT
    Jake-BackMT Male 18-29
    297 posts
    March 14, 2006 at 3:23 pm
    not a fan of his sorts of movies. i almost bought his juice maker he was shilling. wait, that was jack lalane
  61. Profile photo of Mandolin_
    Mandolin_ Female 18-29
    32 posts
    March 14, 2006 at 7:34 pm
    I dunno, some of my favourites have to be like...

    "Chuck Norris can divide by zero."
    "Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken`s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear."
    "If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever."

  62. Profile photo of chopper13
    chopper13 Male 13-17
    251 posts
    March 15, 2006 at 10:10 pm
    lol i love the jokes some of em are gay though like: Chuck Norris doesn`t believe in Germany
  63. Profile photo of GrereX1
    GrereX1 Male 13-17
    921 posts
    May 10, 2006 at 7:39 pm
    Chuck Norris RULEZ
  64. Profile photo of CheeseCar
    CheeseCar Male 13-17
    803 posts
    June 4, 2006 at 10:57 pm
    lol I watched that
  65. Profile photo of CheeseCar
    CheeseCar Male 13-17
    803 posts
    June 4, 2006 at 10:57 pm
    ^^ on tv
  66. Profile photo of CheeseCar
    CheeseCar Male 13-17
    803 posts
    June 4, 2006 at 10:57 pm
    and read the "facts"
  67. Profile photo of ChuckNorrris
    ChuckNorrris Male 30-39
    1 post
    September 23, 2006 at 12:20 pm
    I don`t Know, but Mr. T does look pretty scary to me!
  68. Profile photo of canaryellow
    canaryellow Female 13-17
    422 posts
    January 1, 2007 at 5:07 am
    You could kinda tell that the guys hosting the show thought that the jokes were getting old fast, and Chuck seemed sincerely embarrassed.
  69. Profile photo of Shisi
    Shisi Male 18-29
    779 posts
    January 1, 2007 at 1:12 pm
    Chuck Norris doesn`t teabag, he potato sacks.
  70. Profile photo of ryno1727
    ryno1727 Male 13-17
    137 posts
    January 1, 2007 at 3:29 pm
    Chuck Norris can bite an atom in half and outrun the atomic blast.

    Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

    Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, a green number 4 from Uno, and a monopoly `Get Out Of Jail Free` card.

    Those are my favorites.

  71. Profile photo of TokenBabe
    TokenBabe Female 30-39
    533 posts
    January 1, 2007 at 5:55 pm
    he is still hot. yum.
  72. Profile photo of gillbates
    gillbates Male 18-29
    52 posts
    January 2, 2007 at 10:08 am
    Lol. Chuck Norris is the most legendary legend in the world! :)

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