Things My Boyfriend Says

Submitted by: disastrid 11 years ago Funny
http://www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com

Funny things some chick"s boyfriend says. Hilarious.
There are 107 comments:
Female 81
imitating a pmsing woman:
help.me.stab.the puppy

that made me laugh out loud

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Female 476
lol jealous.
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Female 604
I kept laughing aloud in the middle of Starbucks while reading those. People were looking at me funny.
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Female 201
That`s funny stuff right there.
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Female 120
uh...I just want to say that what he is saying looks really familiar. Alot of it I`ve heard before. Some of it is funny but I don`t think it`s just his words...It seems he`s taken the bunny trail to plagiarism because my friends say these things and I`m pretty sure they`re unoriginal and have never heard of this dude...eh. Who [email protected] cares?
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Female 328
wtf? That wasn`t funny at all. Was it supposed to be? I honestly didn`t get it, like, at all.
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Female 7
Very funny
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Female 1,468
Most of that was only "meh" material at best. His gf seems to worship him.
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Female 1,426
*yawn*
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Female 92
lots of guys here r pretty hostile, nothing there was "LMAO-able" but still, some things he says r pretty witty and cute.. i still say my boyfriend is better and funnier
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Female 21
I didn`t find it that funny. It was just him and his gf having pretty normal conversations....
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Male 101
damn SPrinkZ get a life this guy is funny, ur jealous, you have to make fun of him because he is better than you why can`t you just accept that :-P. Did you know that some people your age actually have a sense of humor!!! :-O. Why do you care if people like this guy? If you hate him make one post and say `i hate him` rather than giving something as long as a life story on 5 posts
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Male 2,290
I`ve met people who were 40 who were immature. Notice how I said that they should have transcended the callowness required?

You obviously haven`t taken the leap yet.

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Female 147
listn SPrinkz im 21,studyin to be a doctor and i still think this guy is funny! so u need to chill out a bit!
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Female 200
And to think they`re already 26/27-ish.B-|
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Male 2,290
"Look at this poosucker. Or as they say in Mexico, chuprakaka." - Worlds pootiest pun on the fabled beast that roams south america eating goats...

Wow...only 13 year olds find him funny. I understand his audience now, prepubescent to adolescent teenager...anything above it has transcended the level of callowness required to find this intellectually engaging.

Eureka!

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Male 2,290
I love how the only people who have actually rebuked me are like 14 years old who probably want to give the lame jerk a rim job. Get out of highschool first then start blabbing your trash, God damn peons.
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Male 45
bastards***

(i think)

sorry bout triple posting

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Male 45
^^^dont hate me 4 that post^^^
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Male 45
EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!

*thinks*

This is cool......heeheeeheeeheeeheeeeheeeheeeeheeeeheeeeheeeeheee

not the heeeheees i meant the link thingy....

it rocked..you jealous basterds or as they say in chineese hegbhgj

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Male 101
lmfao you guys need to relax and stop being so jelous who gives a drat.... someday SPrinkZ you might find the right gu...girl lol just chill he is funny
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Male 163
Sorry for the dobule post, but it was a little long.


ExcelZero
"Oh and allow me to analyze you in the matter to which you are accustomed. I`ll tear your idea apart and make quick assumptions like you did so here it goes... "You must have some sort of self confidence issue to go on the attack as quickly as you do" Kudos!"

Well, you are right about the self-confidence part. But, when I say: "This obviously is the first time you are on the internet". It isn`t supposed to be taken seriously. It`s a sentence with a purpose to make you realize that there is much more worse stuff on the internet.

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Male 163
ExcelZero
"Any chance you could repeat that about first time on the internet line a third time? I have been on since the early days or Prodigy, and been on IAB for about half a year. There is definitely some bad stuff but this is a comment forum. I didn`t like it, get over it."


It`s ok to hate anything you want, but this is just for fun. Why do you have to love or hate everything? You know, that site isn`t to entertain you; it`s just for fun. It`s just a couple that are having fun and in nobodies business. Can`t you just relax for once and not judge everything.

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Male 112
"Look at this poosucker. Or as they say in Mexico, chuprakaka."

FUNNY AS HELL....especially if u understand spanish.....

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Male 223
this guy is a genius, or maybe it was me who said those things... My hair does smell like dinosaurs...
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Male 2,290
See, even she agrees. ^ I love you. Marry me.
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Female 2,244
He isn`t funny at all. Quite lame.
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Male 2,290
I got laid last night...now what are you going to say?
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Male 49
^ Sheeeeeeet dude, you need to get laid.
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Male 2,290
Wow, are you people really that easily amused? No wonder why girls don`t like me, I am actually intelligent enough to devise something that I didn`t get out of a movie, he retains absolutely no originality. People are impressed by crude and not funny jokes apparently.

Ah if only I too could bask in this semblance of intelligence, and be loved for satisfying their starved life with modicum intelligence myself. It`s simply a threat to women when a guy is actually intelligent, how sad it is.

This kind of person gets old fast, with all his little quips to circumvent all his insecurities and obvious problems, it can just get old and it`s telegraphed intensely. If you girls want a guy who as smart as a brick, then I think I give up on the female sex entirely, you are the weakest link, goodbye.

I seriously will never understand why guys like this can even get a girl or...

Girls who go to clubs/bars to get husbands, or vice versa. No relationship material there, or anywhere.

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Male 74
None of that was funny.
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Male 44
hahahaha, funny as hell!

that chick sounds pretty cool too.

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Female 727
not bad not bad
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Female 430
Haha that was funny, i wonder if is hot, or if he is a dork, i bet if he was hot there would be a picture posted. She should do that.
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Male 180
haha i "advertise" all the time
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Male 2,600
"Buy this truck and PUNCH MOTHER NATURE IN THE FACE."
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Male 24
I want 5 minutes of my life back, and to delete this blue envelope.
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Male 1,521
Stupid!
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Female 335
"me: Your fly is open.
e: I`M ADVERTISING."

"About that money I owe you. Do you take sex?"

They cracked me up... a want a man like that

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Female 264
^lolz
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Female 264
lolz, now if they had one that said,
E: I`m really optimistic
Me: How optimistic?
E: So optimistic that I could talk about global annihilation and the trials and tribulations and every one would say that was sweet
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Male 10
I AM that funny, but my wife doesn`t speak enough english to understand my hilarity!

I want to be friends with people like them...

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Female 1,025
hmm..<i>pretty</i> funny.
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Female 62
very funny,!!!
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Female 211
I didn`t like it because of the fact that he`s taken. Otherwise it was really good.
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Male 58
JPCOO
"Anyway, why are some of you guys being so up tight? You guys are acting like you were expecting the funniest comments in the world or something. This is just a regular guy, you know. Why don`t you guys just chill, lay back, and relax for once. You don`t have to criticize EVERYTHING just because you`re having a bad day or your life sucks."

Yes I am terribly sure you know all from one or two comments

Any chance you could repeat that about first time on the internet line a third time? I have been on since the early days or Prodigy, and been on IAB for about half a year. There is definately some bad stuff but this is a comment forum. I didn`t like it, get over it. Oh and allow me to analyze you in the matter to which you are accustomed. I`ll tear your idea apart and make quick assumptions like you did :-)so here it goes... "You must have some sort of self confidence issue to go on the attack as quickly as you do" Kudos!

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Male 2,781
PRETTY GOOD
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Male 205
"Yeah, crazy girls are the best in bed. They`re also the most likely to bite off your weiner."

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Female 706
"Another site made by people who think being able to make a few slightly witty comments makes them special. What a waste of Internet."

Yeah, like the numanuma song and All your base are belong to us are GOOD use of the internet. You``re on a site to look at webpages that have no value except trying to make people laugh. Which is what this person did. Is anything around here intelligent uses of the internet?

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Female 139
y did i read all of those?
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Male 49
[quote]On 2/19/2006 12:48:47 PM TabooPoison wrote: Another site made by people who think being able to make a few slightly witty comments makes them special. What a waste of Internet.[/quote]
Owww, irony...overload...idiot causing head to burst...
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Male 163
Sorry for the tripple post but the whole messege was too long.

Anyway, why are some of you guys being so up tight? You guys are acting like you were expecting the funniest comments in the world or something. This is just a regular guy, you know. Why don`t you guys just chill, lay back, and relax for once. You don`t have to criticize EVERYTHING just because you`re having a bad day or your life sucks.

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Female 98
=D
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Female 19
... And the green-eyed monsters rear their ugly heads. . .

I actually thought he was kind of witty, they both seem like pretty fun people to be around.

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Male 163
ExcelZero
"Am I the only one who thinks this is self indulgent crap? I mean yes, the bunny one was pretty funny but any idiot can crack wise once in a while. To quote Will Ferrell from Zoolander "I feel like I`m taking crazy pills!" This guy made a couple of decent jokes, and maybe one really funny one, but damn I knw alot of people who can prattle on and make people laugh alot harder than this. Either way I have no idea why a website was made for it, and why it was worth posting here."


And this must obviously be your first time at i-am-bored. If you think this isn`t worth posting here then you havn`t seen nothing yet. I still have nightmares from some of the things I saw and read from here.....*shivers* :)

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Male 163
TabooPoison
"Another site made by people who think being able to make a few slightly witty comments makes them special. What a waste of Internet."


You must have obviously just started going on the internet. If you think this is a waste of internet space then you havn`t seen nothing yet. I still have nightmares from some of the things I saw and read.....*shivers*

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Male 58
Am I the only one who thinks this is self indulgent crap? I mean yes, the bunny one was pretty funny but any idiot can crack wise once in a while. To quote Will Ferrell from Zoolander "I feel like I`m taking crazy pills!" This guy made a couple of decent jokes, and maybe one really funny one, but damn I knw alot of people who can prattle on and make people laugh alot harder than this. Either way I have no idea why a website was made for it, and why it was worth posting here.
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Male 1,866
i didn`t think any of them were funny.
no i`m not a party pooper, and there`s actually
a site where he picked up those jokes from.
nothing new/original...
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Female 50
HA :-)
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Female 674
Thanks also to everyone who sent a couple of bucks (all four of you!). We`re saving them up until we have enough to buy something completely irresponsible, which might take till 2054 but we`ll get that gold rocket horse eventually.

lol...

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Female 45
I agree yushi, he`s probably great fun as a friend but to live with that 24/7...def would get o-l-d.
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Female 117
Meh.

Ha. I think it`s kind of funny how most people who didn`t like it were male.

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Female 412
Once in a while is funny, but if he does that CONSTANTLY, then it`s time to make this `boyfriend` into `just a friend`.
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Female 106
e: Are there any cans of coke left?
me: No, I drank the last one but maybe the store`s still open ... *looks at clock* No, BUT IT`S 11:11! MAKE A WISH!
e: i wish for a can of coke.


lol!!!!!!!!

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Male 65
Coors Light.

"If you gave me a car made of diamonds and blowjobs all day I still wouldn`t drink that beer."

Oh, so true.

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Male 1,265
"when actually he`s just putting her down"

That`s the thing. There`s no woman that would put up with these mild put-downs without it leaving some effect over a period of time.

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Male 2,290
She probably felates him everyday for every quip he says and tosses his salad. I want a girl like that.
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Male 2,290
Errr, he does have some nice quips, but I`ve said funnier stuff than that. Girls get so easily impressed by anything, I swear.
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Female 200
Well she thinks he`s so cool and worships whatever he says -
when actually he`s just putting her down with semi-intelligent quips that hide insecurity.
Methinks its damn childish.
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Female 879
I think Im in love...
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Female 1,984
Haha. Cool guy. Wish I knew him.
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Female 1,697
wow, that guy says a lot of stuff, but anyway, I wish I could have a boyfriend as funny as he is.

While watching America`s Next Top Model.

"High drama at the whore factory!"
my favourite!

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Female 458
lmao those were great
Make a wish
I wish for a can of coke
i think that was my favorite i wish he was my boyfriend im jealous
and then wen they showed a picture of him and it was a smily face on paper i cracked up-hes pretty witty
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Female 1,062
Another site made by people who think being able to make a few slightly witty comments makes them special. What a waste of Internet.
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Female 447
Note to Author:

If you`re going to have a site called "Things My Boyfriend Says", you might want to insure readership by having an interesting, witty, or funny boyfriend!

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Male 2,510
lol haha!
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Male 214
me: Your fly is open.
e: I`M ADVERTISING.


this guy is great

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Male 45
heehee

>:(

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Male 45
i mean >-(
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Male 45
heehee

>:(

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Male 594
Good God, people are shallow.
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Female 963
Haha, great stuff.
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Female 37
Those are great!
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Male 49
"About that money I owe you. Do you take sex?"
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Female 1,403
A little jealous over here! That was pretty funny.
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Female 529
me: Your fly is open.
e: I`M ADVERTISING.

Brill guy, wish I knew him!

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Female 220
pretty funny. I laughed out loud at the "punch mother nature in the face" one.
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Female 301
If for any reason you think that something on your body smells like dinosaurs, you should wash it.
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Male 904
Make a wish
I wish for a can of coke

Why are you callind me Mustard?
Because you said I could
No I didn`t
Yes you did. Think back, Mustard

Then you`ll buy me a pony?
I don`t think ther`ll be any money left after the gold rocket horse

haha I liked it. very funny.

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Female 190
Sounds like a very interesting relationship. I`d love to find a guy with that type of personality. Never a dull moment, lol.
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Female 154
yea, i wish my bf was this funny too.
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Male 241
Crap. Does she absolutly idolise him?
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Male 12
its funny cus its true
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Male 567
haha

While E was playing Civilization 4 I decided to go to the store. He asked if I would bring him back something, I said no, and he said:

"And I was just going to name this city I conquered after you. I guess I`ll have to call it Bitchburg."

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Male 716
I`d never break up with him if I was a chick. :-P
Damn, that`s hilarious!
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Female 147
it was ok -
though the vegan one was cute
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Male 888
Meh.

The background makes my eyes hurt.

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Female 200
*yawn*
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Male 314
Classic :D
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Female 630
pretty funny
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Male 1,265
a million to one that she gets tired of the constant cracks
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Female 249
Haha... That is too funny.
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Female 2,144
Cute.
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Female 1,463
lol
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Female 1,972
E: "A small part of you is made of RETARD."
E on America`s Next Top Model: "High drama at the Whore Factory"
I wish my b/f ws this funny
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Male 605
pretty witty stuff there, I like it

me: What do you think famous dogs eat?
e: Smaller dogs.

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Female 1
Link: Things My Boyfriend Says [Rate Link] - Funny things some chick`s boyfriend says. Hilarious.
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