Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Category: Misc
Date: 02/21/06 02:07 AM

66 Responses to Theatres to install candy detectors

  1. Profile photo of buddy
    buddy Male 30-39
    10116 posts
    February 20, 2006 at 11:34 pm
    Link: Theatres to install candy detectors - The free ride is over, folks.
  2. Profile photo of cruxshadows
    cruxshadows Female 18-29
    2144 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:25 am
    Lol Is This A Joke?
  3. Profile photo of CheeseCar
    CheeseCar Male 13-17
    803 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:27 am
    DEAR GOD NO!!!!!!
  4. Profile photo of KickinDonkey
    KickinDonkey Male 13-17
    243 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:31 am
    people who do things just to make MORE MONEY than the millions they`ve already got deserve to be shot in the left asscheek, right asscheek, left leg, crotch, left eye, right eye, left foot, right foot, up the ass, right arm, left arm, right hand, left hand, then cut all over with knives, and thrown into a giant pot of boiling alchohol.
  5. Profile photo of KickinDonkey
    KickinDonkey Male 13-17
    243 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:34 am
    oh yea, i forgot to mention the right leg.
  6. Profile photo of dragonshadoz
    dragonshadoz Female 18-29
    4033 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:51 am
    That`s freaking stupid! Some people don`t have the $6 they charge for a drink, I mean, people *do* get thirsy!
    Instead of blowing our tax money on this crap, they should install detectors for something dangerous, like weapons; not something as harmless as cady.
    Jeez. B-|
  7. Profile photo of dragonshadoz
    dragonshadoz Female 18-29
    4033 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:51 am
    *candy
  8. Profile photo of SpoonFork
    SpoonFork Male 30-39
    1265 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:00 am
    seems like it`s a joke to me
  9. Profile photo of DaSniper44
    DaSniper44 Male 18-29
    44 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:22 am
    It says Fake News at the top and all the candy porn might suggest its a joke.
  10. Profile photo of Aphecks
    Aphecks Male 18-29
    641 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:50 am
    ^^ Agreed. I`m not even sure how a candy detector could possibly operate properly anyway.
  11. Profile photo of youth
    youth Female 18-29
    882 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 4:10 am
    Maybe it could smell things with high sugar content...
  12. Profile photo of Erin24
    Erin24 Female 13-17
    266 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 4:15 am
    What if you had breath mints, or like something private, there gonna lose more business because nobody wants to buy their 8 dollar candy and be scanned. Hmm, backfire, wait and see :-)
  13. Profile photo of TheKid31
    TheKid31 Male 18-29
    2 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 4:27 am
    I will definitely boycott any theater chain thyat does this, and will encourage others to do the same. Who the hell do they think they are? It`s already highway robbery!
  14. Profile photo of 110691
    110691 Female 13-17
    47 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 6:07 am
    omg the greedy wankers
    also do they not think that the amount of money they will spend on those things will kinda be more then they will make on sweets?
    and maybe if they didnt charge so bloody much for the sweets in the first place, and the tikets
  15. Profile photo of cll214
    cll214 Male 18-29
    201 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:09 am
    its fake people, calm down
  16. Profile photo of mylovedied
    mylovedied Female 18-29
    153 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:19 am
    The first two comments on there are proof as to how stupid people can be. Some people will eat anything they are freaking spoon fed.

    Mike and Ikes are no joke.

  17. Profile photo of Akajune
    Akajune Male 18-29
    149 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:22 am
    The candy thong was rather unnecessary
  18. Profile photo of Homer Jay
    Homer Jay Male 18-29
    1135 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:28 am
    i know it`s fake. I mean who went to see black night. let alone enough people that were able to fill an entire row
  19. Profile photo of BigBonny
    BigBonny Male 18-29
    2216 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:32 am
    "Theaters" if you mean the American word for "cinemas".

    "Theatres" are where you see musicals etc.

  20. Profile photo of chestertheje
    chestertheje Male 13-17
    605 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 9:54 am
    that is totally gay./
  21. Profile photo of Enohead
    Enohead Male 40-49
    1587 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 10:25 am
    Some of the other stories under the "recent headlines" side bar are kinda funny..
    "Islamic unrest over Beetle Baily"

    By the way, I love seeing people getting so worked up over a parody news story.
    Wow.

  22. Profile photo of backdraft123
    backdraft123 Male 13-17
    160 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 10:38 am
    I couldn`t tell if it was fake or real until the end when they didnt bleep out some of the words the guy said.

    I think it would be funny if some guy walks in movie theater and goes through the candy detector with candy in his coat pocket, then gets side tackled by a big security guard and then tazered(sp?) afterwards. You wouldn`t have to buy a ticket to see the show. LOL.

  23. Profile photo of MoondustWolf
    MoondustWolf Female 18-29
    338 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 10:42 am
    To the people wondering if it`s fake or real:
    I think the words "Fake News" in the upper-left corner might give you a tiny hint.
  24. Profile photo of wookie12
    wookie12 Male 70 & Over
    42 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 10:48 am
    OH GOD IM BLIND BECAUSE THAT CANDY UNDERWEAR OH GOD I CAN STILL FEAL IT BULGING AT ME >.<
  25. Profile photo of slinky0
    slinky0 Female 30-39
    1468 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 10:50 am
    Haaahahahaa...

    Some people are calling it an invasion of privacy,” Springfield said. “But, in my experience, those are the same people who have a Baby Ruth in their armpit.”

  26. Profile photo of deaf_woman
    deaf_woman Male 30-39
    2721 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 10:50 am
    ^ You know you want to eat it big time.
  27. Profile photo of slinky0
    slinky0 Female 30-39
    1468 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 10:51 am
    Ewwwww
  28. Profile photo of freddyferret
    freddyferret Male 40-49
    11742 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 11:17 am
    I can`t believe people thought this was real. The fact that "Fake News" appears in big words at the top should be a little clue.

    Reading the comments was more amusing than the story itself.

  29. Profile photo of JonKemper
    JonKemper Male 18-29
    143 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 11:41 am
    Lol if they ever did that it would be the death of Cinema. Woohoo the Pirates will be rubbing their hands together thinking of all the extra sales they get
  30. Profile photo of FRANCESUX
    FRANCESUX Male 18-29
    396 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 12:09 pm
    to the people who thought this was real:
    cruxshadows
    cheesecar
    kickindonkey
    dragonshadoz
    thekid31
    110691
    please god do not reproduce
  31. Profile photo of JabboWho
    JabboWho Female 18-29
    4 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 12:16 pm
    How I wish this was real. :-D

    Anyone know why there are no outside food or drink policies? I bet not :-D

  32. Profile photo of glitterlovex
    glitterlovex Female 13-17
    12 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 12:17 pm
    It says fake news at the top.
    Therefore I believe..... its fake.
  33. Profile photo of elroy72
    elroy72 Male 18-29
    194 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 12:21 pm
    lol its obviously fake.. im seeing more and more stupid people around here these days...

    i liked the "concealing contraband snacks." part

    and this "i know it`s fake. I mean who went to see black night. let alone enough people that were able to fill an entire row"

    lol ouch

  34. Profile photo of opiebreath
    opiebreath Female 18-29
    15782 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 1:00 pm
    Jabbowho, why do you want it to be real?
  35. Profile photo of Sabre200000
    Sabre200000 Male 18-29
    1039 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 1:40 pm
    It would be great if this wasn`t fake. I would pack like 150 pieces of candy into my jacket and jeans, duct tape em on or something, and then try to walk in LOL. Then when they beat my tail for refusing to leave, I sue them for millions....they need to create these things...heheh
  36. Profile photo of griffith12
    griffith12 Female 18-29
    206 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:05 pm
    you know what`s annoying me, it`s people like bigbonny. i mean, we call them theaters here, well in some places, in other places it`s cinemas. i mean, do you have to constantly bother people just to criticize them? it`s called slang. it`s how we talk in america, i doubt anyone is sitting at home thinking that they should have to use proper english like y`all in europe. there`s another american word, what`s y`all mean in europe?
  37. Profile photo of for_serious?
    for_serious? Female 13-17
    1403 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:19 pm
    "Anyone know why there are no outside food or drink policies? I bet not"
    All the money made from the movie tickets goes to Hollywood to pay everyone that was involoved in the movie. Therefore the candy is so expensive because that is paying the employees at the theaters.
    That`s what I heard but I still sneak candy anyhoo.
  38. Profile photo of silverant
    silverant Male 13-17
    215 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:22 pm
    Chris Farmer was ejected from the Feb. 15 matinee showing of Big Momma’s House 2 for concealing 28 “fun size” 3 Musketeer’s, one citrus cyclone Ring Pop and three sticks of Ice Breakers chewing gum.
  39. Profile photo of kylethehappy
    kylethehappy Male 13-17
    601 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:31 pm
    ^^^^LOL really
  40. Profile photo of Tiredofnicks
    Tiredofnicks Male 30-39
    5101 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:41 pm
    "candy detector"? Mnyeahright.
  41. Profile photo of Overmann
    Overmann Male 18-29
    2600 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 2:53 pm
    Until they`re willing to search my shoes or resort to deep cavity searches, I`ll continue to enjoy bargain-bin candy inside theaters. Relax, I`m only promoting competition!
  42. Profile photo of thecranberry
    thecranberry Male 18-29
    731 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:13 pm
    actually, they arent "theaters" they`re MOVIE theaters. as in theaters for movies! so shut the drat up bigbonny! the fact that you are so intollerant of different ways of saying things says nothing for your intellegence level!
    on a less hostile note : Chris Farmer was ejected from the Feb. 15 matinee showing of Big Momma’s House 2 for concealing 28 “fun size” 3 Musketeer’s, one citrus cyclone Ring Pop and three sticks of Ice Breakers chewing gum.
    “This is bull****,” Farmer said after he was escorted out of the theater. “I wanted to see Capote and eat candy that doesn’t suck. It’s not about the money. Who the drat eats Sno-Caps? They’re just chocolate chips with dandruff. And Sour Patch Kids are like sucking on 80 grit sandpaper.” thats the best in the world! chocolate chips with dandruff...
  43. Profile photo of Papapimpin
    Papapimpin Male 18-29
    528 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:23 pm
    NOOOOO!!!!
  44. Profile photo of Papapimpin
    Papapimpin Male 18-29
    528 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:27 pm
    FRANCESUX did you actually go and copy and paste all those names? wow.
  45. Profile photo of rockingout
    rockingout Male 13-17
    44 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:39 pm
    hahaha, a box of everlasting gobstoppers takes out an entire row?! what was that like 20 people just going down like dominos? hahahaha, that`s great.
  46. Profile photo of Rammstein221
    Rammstein221 Male 13-17
    407 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:40 pm
    I do much worse than simply smuggle candy in for myself, I smuggle candy in for anyone who`s got the cash. It`ll cost you more than at the 7-11 down the street, but less than the movie theater pirates will extort on you. I literally will put something everysingle spot on my body. I`ll wear a coat, shove two twenty ounce sodas up my sleeves, kit-kats in two of the inside pockets, assorted candybars in an inside pocket I made in the back. Skittle and M&M`s in every pocket except for one, which i keep the money in. Also I usually wear cargo pants, I`ll put all sorts of stuff in those pockets, and a particular pair of pants I have has a zipper that opens up straight to my leg, where I keep sodas in a holster originally meant for a gun, but it works well for sodas. Finally, I usually strap a few candy bars to my lower legs. I have to be carefull, I`ve been caught twice before I got in, quite a few times afterwards. I usually make out 50 dollars richer, and sometimes I get to see a movie
  47. Profile photo of rockingout
    rockingout Male 13-17
    44 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 3:55 pm
    holy crap-o-lah dude. you`re like the neo of candy hiding. either your a genius, or someone with too much time on your hands. probably both, but still i give you props on that one. haha.
  48. Profile photo of violingirl77
    violingirl77 Female 13-17
    1426 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 4:06 pm
    lol. ugh that underwear was gross.
  49. Profile photo of Athorn
    Athorn Female 18-29
    263 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 4:09 pm
    ahhhhh...that would be so funny.

    one time me and my friends snuck half a pizza hut pizza into the theater...

  50. Profile photo of badguy458
    badguy458 Male 18-29
    361 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 5:01 pm
    "omg the greedy wankers
    also do they not think that the amount of money they will spend on those things will kinda be more then they will make on sweets?
    and maybe if they didnt charge so bloody much for the sweets in the first place, and the tikets"


    Have you ever played with the trigger of a loaded gun? Its really fun, you should try it.

  51. Profile photo of cryotwin
    cryotwin Male 18-29
    44 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 6:30 pm
    "sir you need to empty your pockets of any sugar contraband..."
    "what? i have no candy, i ate a jolly rancher a few minutes ago..."
    "sir if you dont comply i will have to beat you!"
  52. Profile photo of unihope
    unihope Female 13-17
    123 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 6:44 pm
    god i thought that was real until i read the comments
  53. Profile photo of oumaverick
    oumaverick Male 18-29
    206 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 6:54 pm
    hahahha

    in an AMC in Oklahoma City, I walked right in with a drink from Sonic, they didn`t even stop us. My cousins told me that theater had given up trying to stop people from sneaking stuff in anyway...

  54. Profile photo of beernotbombs
    beernotbombs Male 18-29
    144 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:10 pm
    IT`s fake! Dont get in a rage

    When I first read it I thought it was true to, probably because I`m an idiot. But isint it a shame that in this day n age of wiretaps and omnipresent screening of all communications, secret searches, secret arrests, rectal exams to get on a bus....paranoia ( you are a terroist if you dont have photo i.d., I lost mine for a week and it was hell). Isint it a shame, and a testament to how poisend our culture has become, that someone can belive for even a moment that this is possibal....Is there anyone here who honestly know it was fake before they saw the candyporn and fake new`s links? IT`s not suprising that most would say "NO". Anything involving screening,scans and rectal exams wouldent surprise me at all.....WHERE ARE WE GOING! I want to live in an america where I dont have to get past the headline...or double check the link to realize something like this is bullpoo...like what I`d read in the weekly world news

  55. Profile photo of Oggleboppite
    Oggleboppite Male 18-29
    180 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:28 pm
    You guys aren`t too bright, are you? Its satire. It`s making fun of how theaters charge outrageous prices and don`t let you bring in your own stuff. IT should have given it away when they said they charged $7.50 for Gobstoppers. And for those who don`t use USD thats about the price of a dinner at a sit-in restaraunt.
  56. Profile photo of cbrown60
    cbrown60 Male 18-29
    14 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:54 pm
    thats a bunch of bullsh*t. it already cost alot for the ticket and even extra for the food. I always sneak in food and snacks. Just trying to save money and what not
  57. Profile photo of beernotbombs
    beernotbombs Male 18-29
    144 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 8:56 pm
    with prices these days it wouldent suprise me if they charged $7.50 for gobstoppers in places like new york and california. where it`s 10 bucks for a pack of smokes in ny, from what I hear....and I saw a can of tuna for 4.50 in LA that would go for a buck thrity out here in colorado
  58. Profile photo of qtran77
    qtran77 Female 13-17
    211 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 9:00 pm
    my movie theatre has quesadillas, but i`m not sure if that is as detectable as candy or metal.
  59. Profile photo of SnowWolf
    SnowWolf Female 13-17
    349 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 9:59 pm
    You can bring a whole entire pizza into the movies and they hardly notice
  60. Profile photo of SKiLLZS_GiRL
    SKiLLZS_GiRL Female 18-29
    87 posts
    February 21, 2006 at 11:48 pm
    lol i didnt know it was fake until i read the comments too =) then i had to go back to the page and look at the thing on top that said "fake news". Just to make sure. HAHAHAa im ever dumber than i thought =P
  61. Profile photo of TiclkedPink
    TiclkedPink Female 18-29
    215 posts
    February 22, 2006 at 1:10 am
    Movies are expensive! 8.75 for a ticket, then money for the popcorn I have to buy....I HAVE to have popcorn at theaters...:P
  62. Profile photo of nyennaserego
    nyennaserego Female 18-29
    100 posts
    February 22, 2006 at 1:43 am
    I used to manage a movie theater here. The reason we had to charge so much was that on average for a hit movie we made about 35 cents a ticket. Some movies we didn`t make anything at all, and a few movies we lost money. We had the cheapest prices for everything around and people still complained about the prices. Let me tell that it`s not an easy job when you have customers complaining about those sort of things and yelling at you like it`s your fault. And God forbid they get to the movie three minutes before Harry Potter starts and it`s already sold out. Horrible.
  63. Profile photo of buz
    buz Male 18-29
    139 posts
    February 22, 2006 at 2:45 am
    That was some funny stuff :-D
    I knew it was fake, but I thought the "candy posing pouch" was real- a woman should be wearing that though :-O
    Also, to the above guy: 35 cents a ticket? that sounds like a bunch of b-s. I think it works the same as a major league sports facility. The people at the top get most of the money, and the ones at the bottom get very little. They could easily charge decent prices, but they would rather get rich off of the large number of stupid people who will pay way too much for low quality food and drinks. Anybody who rips people off like that should burn in hell.
  64. Profile photo of badguy458
    badguy458 Male 18-29
    361 posts
    February 22, 2006 at 9:28 am
    beernotbombs, could you "possibally" be any dumber?
  65. Profile photo of beernotbombs
    beernotbombs Male 18-29
    144 posts
    February 22, 2006 at 7:59 pm
    beernotbombs, could you "possibally" be any dumber?"
    No, not readly
  66. Profile photo of RippledGlass
    RippledGlass Female 18-29
    21 posts
    February 24, 2006 at 10:51 am
    Actually buz is right. Movie theatres very rarely make any money of the movies themselves, that all goes to Hollywood. Much of their money is made off of their candy.

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