Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack

Submitted by: buddy 11 years ago Weird
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676

How ready are you?
There are 37 comments:
Male 298
HEY! sixfingers is right! the polar bears are planning to attack us.... i saw them plan *looks round* o_O
0
Reply
Female 203
..i`m a zombie..

good to know there`s still a place we haven`t breached.

TALLY HOOOOOO!!

0
Reply
Male 26
my arsenal is : 12 combat knives, 5 pellet guns and a shotgun. >:). EAT LEAD UNDEAD SCUM! MUWA HA HA HA!
0
Reply
Female 12
the part about the single zombie in the crowd clogging the exit route reminds me of resident evil 2
0
Reply
Female 184
This reminds me of the Zombie Survival guide, the best book ever.
0
Reply
Female 449
yay zombies!!
0
Reply
Female 415
My brother and I have already devised a plan for when they attack Dallas. Those FN zombies wont know what hit `em
0
Reply
Male 96
The Onion, always good for a laugh.
0
Reply
Male 716
"WTF!? This is the most stupid posting ever!!"

Where`s your sense of humour, guy?

0
Reply
Male 2,519
whatever.
0
Reply
Male 1,550
heh, i love how they put up info from the zombie movies, my fav kind of movies! they talk about stuff from return of the living dead and dawn of the dead bwhehehehehe
0
Reply
Male 979
OH poo Vancouver should get surveyed... i dont wanna become one of them! <3
0
Reply
Male 1,521
WTF!? This is the most stupid posting ever!!
0
Reply
Male 425
zombies suck. being bitten by anything would actually be a drag, just zombies would bemore of a pest cause of the whole, ya know, turing into one part...
0
Reply
Female 712
Stupid zombies...
0
Reply
Male 851
zombies aren`t fake
they`re just hiding
I, personally, have been preparing for the uprising for years
0
Reply
Male 1,808
^^^^^^^I really hope your kidding.I live in florida.and zombies are fake.so this should be under funny.
0
Reply
Male 1,016
this is fake the zombie thin g is from tyhe new movie about zombies.land of the dead or something
0
Reply
Male 318
you think this is fake? Zombies already invaded Washington DC and took over and the whole state of Florida. Why they would want Pittsburgh I don`t know. They can have it. Steelers suck.
0
Reply
Male 407
Any fan of zombie movies could see the obvious references to various zombie movies, like the paragraph about zombies comandeering an ambulance`s radio.
0
Reply
Male 1,586
Sweet Jesus, the Onion rocks.
0
Reply
Female 349
My brother lives in Pittsburgh but I`m pleased to say that he has taken the safety precautions necessary to guard against zombies in the area.
What we really need to worry about are those polar bears. sixfingers was right.
0
Reply
Female 69
Good one!

Haha, Pittsburgh.

0
Reply
Male 305
Yeah you should have linked to the onion not the least funny article
0
Reply
Male 651
haha i love the onion. it`s brilliant!
0
Reply
Male 571
I thought my brother was a zombie but it turned out he just got leprosy on his travels.
0
Reply
Female 206
i love The Onion. the horoscopes are awsome (and nearly always involve ways to get hit by a bus).

0
Reply
Male 1,061
hah lol
0
Reply
Male 396
AS S J W said its all fake. Still i am prepared for a full scale zombie invasion. Explosives rule ^^
0
Reply
Female 830
Zombies are hot.
0
Reply
Male 1,465
"April 1st is still a while away so I`m wondering why they are publishing this now"

It’s The Onion, a fake news publication written purely for entertainment.

0
Reply
Male 916
I want a zombie-preparedness study for my city too. I`m afraid Amsterdam is not that well-organized either.
0
Reply
Male 125
forget the zombies.... what about the polar bears????
0
Reply
Male 65
April 1st is still a while away so I`m wondering why they are publishing this now. Come to think of it, my home city isn`t prepared for a zombie invasion either... Or an invasion by outer space aliens... Or an attack from flying pigs... Oh my god, we`re all going to dye. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............
0
Reply
Female 123
"Cornelius recommends that Pittsburgh residents prepare a `go-bag` containing a Glock 17 pistol and 50 rounds of ammunition."

Only 50? That seems a little low for a zombie invasion.

0
Reply
Female 2,244
I don`t care, I don`t live there.
#16
0
Reply
Male 10,115
0
Reply