Excuse Maker

Submitted by: DrewK 12 years ago in Misc

This comes up with some good random excuses for the slacker.
There are 175 comments:
Male 86
disarm my unwieldy grandma... nice
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Male 153
lol "pop my squishy sausage" I think i could do that
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Male 33
Huh.... Off to shaving my inbred waffles.
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Male 193
free my floppy weasel, which is code for undoing my zip i assume
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Female 37
cover my puffy donkey? O_o weieieieieieird
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Male 124
i have to examine my groovy aunt XD
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Male 1,222
Hahaha "bury my canadian friend"
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Male 320
lol i got But i have to hide my floppy weasel!
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Female 34
Apparently I have to lift my hot butt....go me!
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Female 204
sorry, i have to scratch my greasy sausage

that sounded just wrooong

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Male 924
sorry i cant i have to disarm my broken yak
anlyse my fluffy plants
find my frumpy pretzel
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Male 4,393
....free my dead plants :P
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Female 799
bury my crusty trumpet.
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Female 107
i just cant get enough of these lol
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Female 107
i have to twist my squishy legs
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Female 107
i have to water my scary butt
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Female 107
i have to eat my broken inner-child
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Female 107
i have to thwart my sleepy bomb
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Female 107
i have to cover my yidish sister
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Female 107
i have to cuddle my crazy unicycle
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Female 148
Sorry,i`d love to file those office reports but I have to go and poison my deadly yak 0.o?
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Male 4
Walk my Sneaky Monkey... boy has THAT one gotten me out of some menial labor...
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Male 278
Sorry, I have to go, I`ve got to study my crust warts, kiss my sneaky legs, tame my floppy toenails, pierce my upset muffin and find my lump dog.
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Female 39
fight my crazy toenails
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Female 54
id like to comment but i have to cuddle my puffy inner child
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Female 190
I`d really love to climb the rop in gym but,,,I have to floss my inbred grandpa.

WTF? 0-O;;

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Female 106
that`s addicting
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Male 44
drink my broken arm
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Male 44
i cant go to the pool party i have to kiss my lumpy grandpa
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Male 30
I would love to say something but I have to bury my fuzzy weasel. Poor little Tim. He never had a chance |-(
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Female 706
find my inbred inner child.... what, did my inner mother have sex with my inner grandpa and resulted in an inbred inner child?
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Male 213
I have to pearce my scary wart
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Male 468
what?? i have to clean my floppy d*ck??
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Female 126
Sorry, I have to bury my burnt grandpa, my new cat,my squishy donkey, AND my Canadian mailman.... What crazy things did I do in my sleep??
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Male 44
dang,i have to strum my frozen wallet :-|
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Male 390
i have to peirce my upset muffin, and walk my dead doughnut
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Female 38
sorry Mrs Wilkes- can`t hand in my maths coursework today. Must hide my hard sausage (he he) and ride my grumpy brother. Yuck!
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Female 148
Spank my fuzzy mum...that is so sick!
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Female 148
I have to study my flaming house,and then kiss my slimey boat

Then if I have time after I sponge my squishy grandma,I have to hide my fluffy mailman

Those last two create some horrible mental images *shudders*

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Male 2
Oh and I also have to kiss my hair waffle
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Male 2
Sorry guys I really have to wax my lumpy sausage
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Female 85
oh... sorry... i g2g hide my missing goldfish and cover my frozen dad... mmm... interesting...
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Female 365
I have to water my salty money and sponge my frozen wart...
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Male 378
id love two go to YOUR funrul but i have to water MY burnt grandma
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Female 161
spank my squishy monkey. HAHA! would make more sense if i was a guy.
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Female 2,244
drink my burnt cat.
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Female 533
Great...I have to bury my fuzzy weasel....sorry!
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Male 211
most of them dont make sense
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Male 129
sorry, I can`t post, I`ve got to bury my new cat, then scratch my sunburned butt and poison my upset stomach. sorry guys.
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Male 404
Sorry, I have to study my huge dog and jump my sickly dad and untie my smelly aunt and water my canadian mailman, but then i`m available.
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Male 1,420
well... eat my hot sister, and spank my canadian monkey. good thing im not canadian and i dont have a sister...
but one that acctually makes sence is:
find y missing dad.
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Female 395
Oh teh randomness! I love it. 4.0 rating!
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Male 12
i cant have a bath mum because i have to bath my crusty brother...is that legal? lol.
also:
eat my homesick stomach-i wont be hungry anymore lol
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Female 124
I have to tame my floppy toenails O.o
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Male 189
ok ok that just disturbing i hafto drink my broken arm!!! i mean wtf!!! oh and i hafto twist my squishy legs wth!!?!?!? hypnotize my hot tatto!!!!!

bathe my homesick arm

lossen my floppy car!!

drive my huge muffin

wax my sticky mailman

hahahahlamo EAT MY SQUISHY SISTER!!! lol

wow this one might work stack my hot dog

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Male 189
ok ok that just disturbing i hafto drink my broken arm!!! i mean wtf!!! oh and i hafto twist my squishy legs wth!!?!?!? hypnotize my hot tatto!!!!!

bathe my homesick arm

lossen my floppy car!!

drive my huge muffin

wax my sticky mailman

hahahahlamo EAT MY SQUISHY SISTER!!! lol

wow this one might work stack my hot dog

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Male 378
id realy love to go to grandma`s but i have to fight my silky checkbook
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Male 12
i have to PUNCH my POISONOUS BUTT!!!
ahahahahahahhaha
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Male 694
kiss my dead cat? euwwwwwwwwww
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Male 44
I also have to wax my fuzzy monkey, examine my groovy inner child and hide my hot sister. O.K then. )-|
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Male 1,465
“kiss my sneaky legs”!? “Chop my sunburned firetruck”!? “Shave my dead cat”!? Be sure whoever you’re lying is either really high or really retarded.
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Male 44
I have to thwart my deadly hamster, free my sunbured cat, and eat my frantic bomb.
What a day thats gonna be!
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Female 56
"spank my smelly chicken"
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Male 38
I would love to post but I have to hide my grumpy sausage
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Female 229
Torso`s To Do List....


Kiss my gassy brother.

:-|

Throw my Yidish friend.

And THEN...

I need to punch my hefty inner child.
k...Will do.

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Male 244
i have to study my flaming house!
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Male 11
I`d really love to (unpleasant task here)

But I can`t because I have to...

Wrestle my upset sausage

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Female 115
Apparently, I have to walk my sneaky monkey.
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Male 4
eat my dead mail man? AHHH
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Female 199
anyone wanna help me w/ this one? i gotta go untie my frozen dad..
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Male 672
I have to fight my salty checkbook. Too much time by the sea ya know?
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Male 3
I have to jump my andry monkey
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Male 305
i would rather do my homework then those!
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Female 84
i really have to go cos i must wax my hairy rash...eww!
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Female 363
spank my crazy weasel and hide my frumpy grandpa - thats my plan for the day
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Female 214
i am seriously gonna have to try some of these..."no, really, i would love to go, but i have to watch my inbred arm, and then, right after that, i have to pop my fuzzy grandpa, drink my smelly checkbook, and cuddly my crazy unicycle, my weekend is just so busy. SORRY!!!" lol...this stuff is so screwed up!
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Female 363
i`m sorry but i can`t cos i`ve got to salvage my hefty cat and hide my missing goldfish
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Female 46
I hafta bury my new cat... :c kitty!!
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Male 2
I have to punch my sneaky scab!!!! Where did that mother-fo go!!!!!!!
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Male 189
this is tjhe lasst one guys lol lmao TWIST MY FLAMING BUTT hhahahahaahahaha
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Male 189
oh i hafto hide my slimy dog ...forgot that lol
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Male 189
hahahaha i love it
untie my frantic legs........throw my puffy arm.....exammin my floppy waffel...yeah what a busy day
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Male 189
exammin my groovy aunt
sorry for spamming but its so funny!!
kiss my gassy brother oh yes hypnotize my hairy toe nails lol wtf!??!?!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha scratch my fluffy buritto hahaha
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Female 80
^^^(Forgot to mention that I have to pierce my smelly donkey too. Oh, the fun of the farm...)=P
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Male 189
oh and my personal favorite

fight my canadian hamster!!

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Female 80
I`d love to stay here longer but it`s definitely that time of the day to spank my frozen cat. Oh, and then I have to floss my hairy chicken.. so y`know... pretty much a jam-packed day ahead..
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Male 189
i have to annalyse my flaming house
watch my demented underpants
salvege my groovy plants? wtf!!!
revive my filthy portifolion lol lol lol!!
bury my fuzzy weasel lol!!! so true
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Male 10,440
I have to wax my unused butt :?
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Male 1,866
pierce my scary wart. ahahahahahaha. oh and ride my hairy brother. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Female 86
im sorry i gotta scaratch my sunburnt butt an the floss my dead mail man
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Female 104
sorry, I have to spank my crazy weasel
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Female 300
Bathe my huge mailman

I wonder what they mean by "huge"

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Female 1
I have to "find my inbred inner child", and "lose my crazy pills."
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Female 36
i have to floss my dead mailman...
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Female 193
paint my filthy aunt.
tighten my poisonous trumpet.
analyze my tiny prisoner....heyyyyyyyyy
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Male 1,061
i h8 this wot it all bout
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Male 55
Oh please, how am i gong to be able to go into work late tmrrw and say that im lookin after my shelby 80YO pussy?? Still gonna give it a try though!!!!! LOL
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Female 29
I`d really love to, but I have to pop my salty goldfish!
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Male 1,149
Disarm my fuzzy sausage.
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Female 113
i have to burn my canadian scab
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Male 623
i got i have to poison my canadian scab, wrestle my sleepy mailman, and spank my squishy monkey
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Female 1,603
Poison my Canadian scab.
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Female 1,603
My first one was boring so I tried again and these were my favorites:
eat my broken inner child
kiss my gassy brother
salvage my lumpy underpants
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Female 1,397
water my squishy scab....thats digusting..anyone?
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Male 99
I could have posted something better but I have to find my tiny banjo
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Female 1,603
Poison my Canadian scab.
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Male 20
"Find My Inbred Inner Child."
awesome.
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Female 113
I`d love to babysit for you but I have to jump my lumpy pretzel if ya know what I mean ;)
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Female 830
And this is my favourite:
Clean my demented sister, OH SO TRUE! so so so TRUE!
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Female 830
Clean my hefty banjo,
wrestle my squishy house,
And MOST IMPORTANTLY
Analyze my grumpy friend... Hmmm..
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Female 830
I`d really love to babysit your smelly children but i have to drive my huge muffin! THAT WILL SO WORK! And this one : I have to throw my frantic underpants. Ok..
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Female 214
i have to wrestle my sleepy mailman (i wonder who`s gonna win that one...?)
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Male 9
id love to leave a reply but i have to scratch my tiny grandma
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Male 495
Sorry,I need to disarm my scrappy butt.
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Male 126
Punch my missing burrito
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Female 215
I have to walk my missing chicken...
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Female 1,403
I have to climb my hairy sausage. I`m not a trannie though.
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Male 1,420
brb i gtg chop my fluffy computer,
disarm my widely grandma,
cuddle my yiddish house, and of course:
pay my hot carpet!
but first i have to spank my husky pills.
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Female 1,403
I have to hide my angry unicycle. My school would buy that...
I had a toy like this that makes random sentences. IE The round candy girl screamed upside down.
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Female 23
I have to punch my missing burrito...sorry
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Male 46
i would... but i have to pierce my burnt liver. oh god
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Female 29
even better... I gotta teach my gassy donkey!
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Female 29
I gotta kiss my slimy boat...
mmn... tastey
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Female 1,463
i got eat my lumpy muffin and cuddle my squishy goldfish
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Female 963
Oh wait, I`m sorry, I have to bathe my scrappy ego.....)-|
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Female 207
this isnt very creative....even i can think i better
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Female 333
i`m peircing my salty butt!
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Female 49
sorry but i have to shave my inbred waffle...yea right
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Male 774
Watch my inbred arm...
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Female 75
Bathe my flaming freind..lol
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Female 209
i have to wax my floppy grandpa (oh no that`s so wrong) and eat my crusty armpits...yum
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Female 4
Hmm, I have to floss m inbred grandpa.....that would work...or maybe I should poison my canadian scab....:P Very funny.
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Female 1,071
i have to spank my squishy sausage
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Female 314
Sorry, boss, but I`m busy. I have to analyze my demented mom. x)
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Female 287
I have to jump my sickly dad....

ewwwwwwww

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Male 597
"Hide My Floppy Sausage"

0_o

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Male 1
Ummmm...sorry I got to "wax my lumpy sausage!"
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Male 332
I gotta fight my canadian hampster now, bye.
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Female 458
loosen my sticky dreadlocks...punch my missing burrito...and last but not least
SPANK MY FUZZY MOM <---now that is just un called for
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Male 14
poison my ancient grandma.... great excuse....
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Female 458
spank my smelly chicken
yeah im gunna hurry up and do that now
bbl
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Male 1,061
wot the hel is dat
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Male 851
did anyone else get `wrestle my upset sausage`?
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Female 588
"bathe my huge underwear"

... how did it know?

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Female 132
I must kiss my hairy waffle, paint my crazy brother and chop my sunburned firetruck. :-|
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Male 914
find my inbred middle child? wtf? roflmao
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Male 247
floss my demented sausage. lol kind of fun
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Male 1
I have to punch my inbred sister
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Male 459
halindir, can somone say spam? make it all into one post n00b! j00 sux at teh intraweb! i would pwn yuo but i need to loosen my floppy grandma, and "wrestle" my "goofy" mailman...gross
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Female 39
...and after that i`ll punch my fluffy armpits for a few
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Female 39
i have to walk my hairy weasel and wax my inbred dog
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Male 761
right.....
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Male 820
poison my canadian scab
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Male 227
and i also have to shave my poisenous gradma
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Male 227
i would love to coment but i gotta go write my burnt pills sorry =p
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Female 236
I too have to shave my demented muffin.
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Female 305
I have to shave my demented muffin AND water my sqiushy scar
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Male 12
tame my grumpy donut
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Male 12
i cant go....i have to free my dead plants...
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Male 12
wax my floppy grandma
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Male 12
floss my inbred grandma...sick
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Male 12
pop my salty goldfish.....lol
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Male 12
Id love to go but i can´t because i have to
sponge my puffy toenails!!
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Female 982
Bury my crusty trumpet. Right...
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Female 30
"Floss my dead mailman"
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Male 979
"water my squishy scab" yumm
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Female 124
"pop my fuzzy grandma" that`s a really really gross thought
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Male 694
ive got to rock my new grandma? thats sick
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Male 694
id love to comment but ive got to spank my squishy monkey
And wreasle my stinky gold fish
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Female 607
I have to shave my demented muffin, so I`ll have to take a raincheck on that
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Male 160
I`d love to, sgdp, but I have to study my flaming house and untie my shallow firetruck. :(
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Female 144
very random
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Male 992
I got Spank my Squishy Monkey
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Female 553
Yes, I completely understand. Scratching your sunburned butt is very important. We`ll get together and shovel dog poo out of my backyard tomorrow!
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Male 495
Link: Excuse Maker [Rate Link] - This comes up with some good random excuses for the slacker.

This comes up with some good random excuses for the slacker.

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