The Death Psychic

Submitted by: jimbone 12 years ago in Misc
http://www.thedeathpsychic.com

It will tell you how you"re going to die. Amazingly accurate!
There are 183 comments:
Female 4
You are mauled to death by a rabid pitbull.

:-O

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Male 37
ha im the luckiest one i die old while im sleeping :-)
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Female 7
A gang of midgets wraps you in plastic wrap and proceeds to cook you with a hair dryer. You are slowly squeezed to death as the plastic wrap shrinks around your body.

Lovely.

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Male 26
cyberguy you have the same one as me. WERE DEATH BUDDIES!
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Female 61
While on a roller coaster, the ride malfunctions, and you fall from the car to your death, several hundred feet below.

oh joy i just tried again..
and im going 2 dreamland next week. ahh

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Female 61
i am going to be attacked by my neighbour with a shovel.. oh joy!

by my neibour is a 81 yr old lady that cant walk..

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Male 57
!!! maybe it is true... if you re-type the information exactly how it was before, it will say the same thing ;-()
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Female 126
While bending over a pot of hot soup, a disgruntled relative shoves my head into the bowl and leaves it there. When I entered my dead grandma who died of a brain tumor, it was not accurate at all. No one has gotten "died in sleep". It`s rigged, or we all die horrible deaths in the future.
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Male 51
While on a hunting trip, you are "accidently" shot in the face by your friend with a shotgun. Your lifeless (and headless) body falls to the ground with a resounding thud
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Male 279
haha mine said some crazy cook guy will throw scalding hot grease on me... somewhat stupid
it will probably be a chinese one cus i hate chinese food and i tell everyone of how i got this chinese friend who asked me to keep secret that they use rats and dogs meat. so i will probably be talking aobut it there and here the angry chinese guy comes. aaaah
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Male 167
While walking down the street, you`re attacked by a homeless woman. She beats you violently with an umbrella, takes your wallet, and leaves you for dead. hilarious!
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Male 982
You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.

well isnt that great

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Female 1
Mine is a wicked way to die!!!! im gna get so pissed that i fall down the stairs and break my neck. my friends will think ive jus passed out and leave my body for hours... Yeaaaaaa.
(Stupid Friends....)
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Female 365
i`m going to have apencil in my eye by a police drawer person... fun.
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Male 124
i die in a school bathroom when a guy beats me to death with his bookbag...
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Male 4
This what will happen to me:

A deranged homeless man climbs over the dividing wall of a department store dressing room and strangles you to death with a clothes hanger.

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Female 3
HAHAHA!!!! This is what it tells about my boyfriend: "Upset over the recent breakup with your girlfriend, you shoot her to death and then proceed to kill yourself."
Not sure wether to laugh or cry
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Female 3
Damn. It tells me that I will drown. Truth is, I can`t swim and I`m afraid to swim. Damn!!!
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Female 3
it says that a man in a harware shop fataly beats me to death with a garden hoe. lol
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Female 1,062
I`m going to forget to put out a burning candle and my house will burn down with me trapped inside. How do they know this is "amazingly accurate"? Is there anyone around to give a testimonial? "This thing said I was going to be decapitated by a train and I was! Amazing!"
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Male 159
lmao "My date will tie me up and sever my limbs" date? tied up???? what limb??!!??!!?
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Female 7
"A disgruntled coworker beats you to death with a bag full of loose change."

Great. Note to self. Keep all bags, change, and co-workers away from self.

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Female 11
"A disgruntled coworker beats you to death with a bag full of loose change."

Lmao! This kinda freaks me out because someone at work was yelling at me for reading the schedule wrong today. He`s a bit scary when he`s upset... XD Thankfully we don`t really carry around any loose change where I work though.

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Male 96
A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a pitchfork.
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Male 645
i get crushed by a tree...yay?
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Male 623
and sarifynna
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Male 623
While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.
are you only supposed to enter your first name? and i got the same as georgiascool
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Female 12
It`s an icy day and I run a red light and die instantly. My dog gets hit by a speeding motorist.
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Female 40
i get beaten to death by a homeless lady....and blown up in my house due to a gas leak.... (seperate times of course) who knew? i die twice hge he
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Female 492
While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you`re struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly.
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Male 138
mines wierd. i die from a falling icicle at my house. WTF! i live in sacramento, ti NEVER snows here!
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Female 157
While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.

isnt that magical...

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Female 139
You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.
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Female 273
You are bitten by a mosquito and contract West Nile Virus. You die within days.

i was scared of gettin west nile in the summer..
i had a total of 30 bites

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Female 219
^^haha
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Male 247
i blow my head of with a shot gun. to bad my arms are to short for that. (beat the system):YAY:
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Female 9
"A crazed man on the golf course beats you to death with a golf club. LOL my ex-boyfriend used to play online golf all the time..think he is going to come back and kill me???
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Female 219
i tryed mine again today it said`While in a batting cage, you`re struck in the chest by a baseball. You enter cardiac arrest and die within minutes. hahaha omg i had like tears rolling down my face its soo funny lol
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Female 1,252
You are taken hostage as part of a bank robbery. When law enforcement refuses to meet the demands of the suspect, the suspect shoots you in the head to prove to the cops that he means business.

SCREW THAT, I`M NEVER GOING IN A BANK AGAIN

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Female 77

While you`re having lunch at an outdoor cafe, a suicide bomber blows himself up next to you.

Ive always wanted to go out with a bang.

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Female 107
I either die of worms from a new sushi restaurant or a man in a hardware store dismembers me with an axe....
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Female 26
While vacationing in Spain, you are goared by an escaped bull. You die from massive internal hemorrhage.

Eh? I`m never going to Spain again. Or wearing red.

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Male 694
Being depressed with life in general, you commit suicide by cutting your throat with a hacksaw.

Sure sounds like me

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Female 830
Mine: A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a large wrench.
Eh.
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Female 529
And my hamster`s:

You are mauled to death by a rabid pitbull.

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Female 529
Your arm is ripped off after you become trapped in a revolving door. (nice)

Nah, I reckon I`m going to be hit by a car and impaled by the arial. :-)

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Male 35
While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you`re struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly.
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Female 585
Airplane thing.
I love 19laur86`s and georgiascool
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Female 132
Interesting, I went back today and it said:

While mowing the lawn barefoot, you accidentally run over your foot, severing your toes. Unable to walk, you bleed to death in your lawn.

Kind of different to being killed by a deranged cook in a Chinese restaurant like it said I would yesterday.

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Female 5
You put an excessive amount of lighter fluid onto a charcoal grill. Upon lighting the grill, you are engulfed in flames and are burned alive.

i never cook with a charcoal grill but ok

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Male 88
arm is ripped of in a revolving door...sigh`
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Female 36
Your arm is ripped off after you become trapped in a revolving door.

sounds painful... better stay away from revolving doors

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Female 116
During a severe thunderstorm a tree will fall on your house and crush you.
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Female 28
A homeless man hits you with a fast-moving shopping cart, breaking your neck.

WTF???

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Male 81

You are taken hostage as part of a bank robbery. When law enforcement refuses to meet the demands of the suspect, the suspect shoots you in the head to prove to the cops that he means business.

Wow! I`ll be a hero!

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Male 33
I,m not sure we have any tall buildings.
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Male 6
First off how do they know it`s accurate.
Second, a strange man picks up an axe and dismembers my body.
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Male 31
You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.
I hat Sushi
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Female 29
mine is so sad...i am going to die in an outhouse, suffacating by fumes
i wonder if they mean the toilet fumes??lol
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Male 601
You are taken hostage as part of a bank robbery. When law enforcement refuses to meet the demands of the suspect, the suspect shoots you in the head to prove to the cops that he means business.


Cool, I get to be a hostage!

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Female 338
I am so creeped out. Tried my name- I`m gonna be killed in a storm by a falling tree. Tried my nickname- same thing. Tried my screenname- same thing. Fear . . .
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Female 240
In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by the mob.
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Male 206
I said I was Elvis and I got this:

A lit cigarette is dropped in your car while you`re driving. While you`re attempting to pick it up, you veer into oncoming traffic. You are struck by a speeding truck and are killed instantly.

So that`s how the King died...

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Female 49
this is soooo awesome
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Female 28
Engine failure causes an airplane you`re on to fall rapidly and crash into the ocean, killing everyone on board...everytime i get on a plane i always worry that this might happen.
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Male 672
You are beaten to death by a group of thugs in a dark alley.

That`s mine, and my cat dies via hammer from a disgruntled girlfriend.

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Male 1
You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.
That sounds painful
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Female 22
Suffering with general depression, you slit your wrists while sitting in a warm bath. You die from rapid blood loss.

I wrote the name of my enemy. BWAHAHAHA

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Male 305
After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

huh. that sounds good.

I typed in a ramdom name and got this: nasty
While on a camping trip, you become trapped in an outhouse for days. To avoid starvation, you eat some of the waste matter floating in the toilet water. You become violently ill and die shortly thereafter.

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Male 914
fthygre I have the same one as you lol "In a public restroom, you slip on the wet floor and hit your head on the side of the toilet bowl and die. Your body isn`t found for several days" maybe we are soul mates and we die together
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Female 22
You walk across a quiet street and are hit by a speeding motorist, you die instantly.

That`s why i dont like crossing streets

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Female 573
"While driving, you give the wrong guy the finger for cutting you off, and he follows you home. As you step out of your car, he leans out his window and fires several shots into the back of your head. Your lifeless body hits the cement, and the gunman drives away."

Probably...I give lots of people the finger...especially slow people on the road. Why am i the only one that got this one?

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Male 1
Acurate? How? You want accuracy, just tell everyone they will die of CANCER!
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Male 133
While playing around with a friend`s gun, you inadvertently shoot yourself in the head. You die instantly.
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Male 298
jimbone, ur a retard.
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Male 133
Not working fo me
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Female 1,403
A disgruntled coworker beats you to death with a bag full of loose change

Why, oh, why, does money have to kill me?!?! And now I will NEVER get a job...gaddamn. Have money, be killed by money, OR have no money and die from starvation because I have no money....choices, choices...

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Male 1,808
Im gonna get killed when I help my friend cut a tree with a chain saw and severe both my legs and then bleed to death.Im never getten near a chain saw.my sister eats at sushi restaurant and gets worms and unable to fight off the infection, and dies from abdominal rupture.Goodie!
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Female 7
While angrily shaking a vending machine to recover your dangling bag of chips, the machine falls onto you, crushing you beneath it.
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Female 217
As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you are thrown into a vat of sulfuric acid. Your body is turned into a thick sludge.
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Female 49
A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a pitchfork.

Johnny Cash didn`t die that way!

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Female 33
im gonna be a hostage ina bank robbery holy crap
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Male 85
I`ve always wanted to die by someone on a rampage. Apparently a crazy guy is going to beat me to death on a nice calm golf course. Maybe it`s happy gilmore!
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Female 170
A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you.
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Male 571
It says I`m going to be swimming and an electric cable will fall into the water and fry me. This would be intirely accurate if I still had arms and legs!
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Male 37
You attempt to go for a swim in the hotel pool after having one too many drinks late one night. Once in the deep end, it dawns on you that you don`t know how to swim. You struggle violently as your lungs begin to fill up with water, but it does little good; you drown to death. Your body isn`t seen until the following morning.

I tried it again. What`s scary is I don`t know how to swim.

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Male 37
You are beaten to death by a group of thugs in a dark alley.

Damn, that`s boring.

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Male 1,523
I`m gonna jump off a building...
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Male 354
While playing baseball, a disgruntled player beats me to death with a bat. I find that odd, considering I haven`t played baseball for years.
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Male 47
which actually raises an interesting question of why iceskates are so sharp.... people i need your thoughts on this
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Male 47
i better steer clear of ice rinks eh??? but why WHY GOD WHY
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Female 7
In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by a drug dealer.

Does this mean i look like a coked up whore?? argh!!

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Female 215
I`m going to trip over a sprinkler, cutting off my toes and unable to walk I will slowly bleed to death on my front lawn
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Female 363
my flatmate is going to get a new form of intestinal worms after eating in a new sushi restaurant. her body will be unable to beat the infection and she`ll die from an abdominal rupture
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Male 55
You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.
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Male 135
wow these are creative :-D
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Male 1,016
SO UR SAYIN U GET PULLED OVER ALOT CUZ U SAID ALWAYS
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Female 420
Oh, and being raised by a cop, I would never be stupid enough to try to make any suspicous moves. My license and registration is in my visor. Also, I always pull over immediatly.
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Male 58
After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

That is kinda sad.....
But my bro is gonna die worse!

While on a hunting trip, you are "accidently" shot in the face by your friend with a shotgun. Your lifeless (and headless) body falls to the ground with a resounding thud.

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Female 420
While driving, you fail to immediately pull over for speeding when signalled by the cop car behind you. While stopped, you attempt to open your glove compartment, and the rookie cop nervously opens fire on you. You are struck several times and die on the scene.

Not possible. I live on an island of 3000, my dad is Chief of Police, and I know every cop who works for my dad. None of them are trigger happy rookies. My dad only hires level headed guys who have spent time on the force previously. Oh, and when traveling, I never rent a car. I use the bus system. Much more economical. Wheres my tshirt?

lol great site. Wonder if they`ll really give you a shirt?

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Male 579
No matter what variation on my name I put in I would die in two ways driving down the wrong way of a busy highway (suicide) or hit by a car and killed instantly. Really gives ya somthing to look forward to in life.
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Male 1,016
A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a pitchfork

DANG

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Female 60
wtf
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Male 306
Your body is cut into pieces when large shards of broken glass fall from a window far above your head.
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Female 29
I get struck by lightning. What a kick ass way to go!
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Male 601
Service unavaible arrrrgh
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Female 21
Service Unavailable...

:( And I really wanted to see how I would die too

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Female 304
eurgh, i go to a sushi resteraunt and get worms and die
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Female 533
Great...I get to it and it says "Service Unavailable". Does that mean that I am going to die and it doesn`t know how? Does it mean that I AM NEVER GOING TO DIE!!!!!! Mwahhhhh!
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Male 226
"Being depressed with life in general, you commit suicide by hanging yourself."

How boring. Now I`m depressed . . .

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Female 333
Tafts, we must be on the same plane.
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Female 160
I get killed on a plane that crashes into the ocean. I`m going on a cruise next year, glad its not a plane trip. Ooooh, but what if I`m on the ship that the plane crashes into? Spooky.
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Male 528
A crazed man with a pitchfork attacks me in a hardware store. How fun.
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Male 241
Wow, dinnerbone. our girlfriend sleeps around. B*tch
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Female 219
While attempting to remove a slice of burnt toast from your toaster using a metal fork, you`re electrocuted.

haha i almost did that the other day too lol

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Female 193
(note to self: stop hanging around poor people.)
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Female 193
While walking to your car after visiting a friend in a rather bad part of town, you are caught in the middle of a drive-by shooting. You are hit several times in the chest. You watch as blood pours from your body as you fall to the ground. You die from massive blood loss.
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Female 1,603
While driving, you fail to immediately pull over for speeding when signalled by the cop car behind you. While stopped, you attempt to open your glove compartment, and the rookie cop nervously opens fire on you. You are struck several times and die on the scene.
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Male 98
A disgruntled cook at the local bar and grill poisons your food. You suffer in agony for days until the poison eventually kills you.
Lovely
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Male 1,061
While using a chainsaw to help your friend cut down a tree, you slip and sever your leg. You die from rapid blood loss.
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Male 1,061
hehe
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Female 211
a vending machine falls on me!great im an idiot!
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Male 59
Suicide bomber on a plane for me...
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Female 305
During a severe storm, a tree falls onto your house, crushing and killing you.

Yippeee!Quick death =D

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Male 41
great You are beaten to death by a group of thugs in a dark alley.
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Female 683
how can you know if it is accurate unless you have died??!!
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Female 683
you are driving and give the finger to the wrong guy. he follows you home and shoots you.

nice

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Female 321
While driving too fast in icy conditions, you run a red light, and your car is struck in the intersection by a speeding truck. You are killed instantly...I can`t Drive
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Female 882
i said i was james dean and it said this: Your next door neighbor beats you to death with a shovel.

and also it said a die working in a sports store. sports store?! i don`t think so.

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Male 181
i get beat up by an old lady with an umbrella and left for dead. harsh
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Female 124
"A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal." I LOVE Chinese food and would never complain about it.

What if there were hairs all over it?

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Female 3
A gas leak in your home causes a major explosion, killing you in the blast.
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Female 124
While walking down the street, you`re attacked by a homeless woman. She beats you violently with an umbrella, takes your purse, and leaves you for dead.

Nice :D

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Female 45
georgiascool - we have the same death... maybe we`ll be at the same hardware store... ;)
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Male 339
Your girlfriend beats you to death with a hammer while you`re asleep.

:`(

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Female 210
A suicidal airline pilot intentionally crashes the plane you`re on, killing you (and everyone else onboard).
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Male 2,372
"Being depressed with life in general, you commit suicide by sitting in your running car with the garage door closed"

HOLY CRAP! By sheer coincidence, I committed that very act just last week!

...manorrd`s executor

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Male 414
While driving, you fail to immediately pull over for speeding when signalled by the cop car behind you. While stopped, you attempt to open your glove compartment, and the rookie cop nervously opens fire on you. You are struck several times and die on the scene.

HOLY CRAP!!!!!
that nearly happened to me once!!!!!

bloody hell.....

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Male 4
Accurate my ASS!

"A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal." I LOVE Chinese food and would never complain about it.

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Male 80
It said id me mauled by a pitbull although pitbulls are nice, and then it said, once i tried again, that a computer store clerk would assault me with a back hoe...
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Female 1,468
While having fun with fireworks, an M-80 blows up in your hand. You die from massive blood loss.

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Female 712
A crazed man on the golf course beats you to death with a golf club.
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Male 820
A large icicle falls from above your head, cracking your skull. While unconscious, you bleed to death slowly.

Note to self: dont go hiking in caves in Iceland.

this guy must`ve had a lot of fun writing down all these deaths

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Male 403
While playing around with a friend`s gun, you inadvertently shoot yourself in the head. You die instantly.

I wonder which gun???? hmmm...

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Male 85
While attempting to unclog your garbage disposal with your bare hand, your wife inadventently turns on the disposal. Your hand is quickly mangled by the blades, and you bleed to death. HaHa cant wait, Pity you dont get to know what age Haha
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Male 25
BWAHHAHHAAHHAH!!!!!
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Male 25
After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

Of course it`s pretty easy to tell somebody`s death when they already are...

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Male 206
You will die of boredom while visiting useless web sites.


Wow, that`s creepy!

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Male 33
I guess me and OREOMAN are going to be in the same vehicle:

While driving on the freeway, a flat tire causes you to veer into oncoming traffic. You`re hit by a speeding truck and are killed instantly

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Male 150
Being depressed with life in general, you commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills.

Haha....yeah, okay.

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Male 203
An angry neighbor puts a letter bomb into your mailbox. While retreiving the mail, your hands are blown off, and you die from rapid blood loss.

Damn those Johnsons next door; all because I still have there lawnmower.

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Male 388
uh oh
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Male 136
While attempting to climb a barbed wire fence, you lose your grip and fall, slicing your neck in several areas. You bleed to death slowly.
YAY! Hey, it sounds kinda illegal. So it has to be good.
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Female 132
A deranged cook at a Chinese restaurant attacks you violently with a meat cleaver after you complain about your meal.

Wonderful.

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Male 135
While driving on the freeway, a flat tire causes you to veer into oncoming traffic. You`re hit by a speeding truck and are killed instantly
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Female 55
I`m going to drown in a hotel pool and not be found until morning because I don`t know how to swim.

When I do know how to swim. I guess I forget at some point.

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Female 107
``While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you`re struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly.``
That`s how my cat died *cries*|-(
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Female 363
In a public restroom, you slip on the wet floor and hit your head on the side of the toilet bowl and die. Your body isn`t found for several days

that actually nearly happened yesterday! but my mate stopped me from falling

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Female 982
While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body.


Note to self: Never go in a hardware store.

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Female 111
A disgruntled coworker beats you to death with a bag full of loose change.
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Male 992
If I can just make it to 32 I have this to look forward to!
*While walking up an escalator, your shoelace gets caught in the moving stairs, and you are dragged all the way to the top. You die from internal injuries.
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Female 350
"Faulty electrical wiring in your home causes a fire, and you burn to death, unable to escape."

Like how I always think of that when I see wires...

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Female 324
you*
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Female 324
I die of a burst aneurysm in my brain.

Question, how do you know if it `amazingly accurate`? Are you dead? Did you die the way it said it would?

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Female 1,211
As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, you are thrown into a vat of sulfuric acid. Your body is turned into a thick sludge.

Gee, what fun to look foward to.

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Male 160
I`m going to die by multiple gunshot wounds to the face while I`m sleeping during a home robbery.

Funny how no one who`s posted is dying of natural causes. Everything this thing spouts out are either grizzly deaths or suicides.

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Male 1,465
"Suffering with general depression, you slit your wrists while sitting in a warm bath. You die from rapid blood loss."

It`s not that bad of a way to die. Too bad I`m way too narcissistic to ever kill myself.

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Female 2,144
I`m Going To Get Run Over In A Quiet Street And Die Instantly. Well...At Least It`s Instant.
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Female 17
"When in a bar you will be slipped a date rape drug in yor drink.When you are passed out you will be taken away and raped and then murdered."
Lovely. How on earth would you know if it was amazingly accurate? Anyway, i majorly want to win a free tshirt! WOO!
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Male 60
"You are attacked violently by a crazed man with an ice skate. Your throat is slit, and you die from rapid blood loss."

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Male 35
"While walking downtown, you fall into an open manhole and sink beneath the thick sewage."

Nooooooooooooooooo!

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Female 428
It says my neighbor is going to beat me to death with a shovel..... Nice.....
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Female 2,244
Ok, his is the funniest yet.
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Male 992
Right on sgdp, whats your home address? lol
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Female 553
Yea! Well, mine said that I would be a hostage in a bank robbery, and the robbers would shoot me to prove that they were serious. YAY!

One more reason to keep my money hidden between my mattresses.

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Male 992
I control my destiny lol
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Female 2,244
Nah, at least mine isn`t suicide. :-P
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Male 992
Yours is better, wanna trade?
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Female 2,244
While scarfing down dinner, a large chunk of your meal becomes enlodged in your throat, and you choke to death.
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Male 992
I kill myself in a running car in a garage! That`s so depressing.....im goin do it now =(
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Male 73
Engine failure causes an airplane you`re on to fall rapidly and crash into the ocean, killing everyone on board.

it could be worse

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Male 9
Link: The Death Psychic [Rate Link] - It will tell you how you`re going to die. Amazingly accurate!
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