You are NOT the father.

Submitted by: Bucher 12 years ago in Funny
/media/45562_youarenotthefatheriab7.wmv
A little clip from Maury, check the dude"s reaction.
There are 126 comments:
Male 2
YOUR NOT THE FATHE SONG
http://www.myspace.com/mckess
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Male 2
YOOO! peep this Your not the Father Hip hop song
http://www.myspace.com/mckess
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Female 850
Poor Whore. And Poor Whore Child.
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Male 57
If she was banging two guys at the same time without protection she`s still a whore. "Ooooh but she was only ramming two guys at once without protection!" Maybe not the villiage bicycle but still a slut.
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Female 585
Haha I thought he was gonna beat up someone cause he was so dissapointed! Guess my predictment was wrong!!!!!
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Male 116
LMAO that was the most funniest thing ive seen!
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Female 338
Damn show. That man is an ass, but those woman "Ooh, poor me, I slept around with so many men at once, I dunno who the daddy is" That`s what you get, slut. Suck up. And as you can see, I AM a woman. We`re usually th victims. Not here. (Guy`s still an ass, though)
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Male 1,066
put your hands up in da air and say wooowooo
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Male 1,866
Those were sum smooth moves. did u guys see those black gangasters in the back dancin with him? that was good. Does anyone know the name of that song? it was the best part.
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Male 2
That was great,she should keep track of who she is f`n. I mean what the hell, spread your legs for everyone,another chick on welfare. I see no ending. Use a contraceptive bitch!
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Female 46
work it
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Male 477
hahhahahahaha okayy...funy but fkd up
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Male 20
Lol! enough said :-P
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Female 809
I`d be dancin` too...

I always laugh at those stupid people who claim someone is the father and then they aren`t. Comeon, too many whores in this world, already.

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Female 9
what a b*as*ta*rd.
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Female 782
lol wen the music came on i tohught my itunes had started itself off.
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Female 2,244
Nice moves..
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Female 712
Lol, that`s hilarious. I feel sorry for the chick, though...oh well.
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Male 4
To carolinablue: Thanks. I knew I recognized that song, but I just couldn`t place a title. Probably because I have almost never heard that intro. If it had gotten to the chorus, I wouldn`t have needed to ask.

To Ledatru: check page four of the comments for carolinablue`s answer to me asking which song this is.

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Female 24
could be worse--he coulda contracted HIV...but why bother thinking `bout that huh? *IDIOT
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Male 2,519
Great. People celebrate at other people`s demise.
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Female 673
OK so I can understand why Andrew might not want to be the father and why he is relieved, but his dancing just shows how insensitive he is. He`s probably doing it for the audience, anyhow.

And I don`t know if they`re sluts or what, but I`ve never been able to understand who the hell would choose to go on those sort of shows? Showing their dirty underwear to the world. Do they get paid for it or something?

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Male 189
whow emmm? no no no no but good episode
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Male 55
Yeah it was funny when they showed him dancing, and showed her crying or whatever.

Hey, what song is that playing? "Outkast is everlastin`"

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Female 790
[quote]On 6/11/2005 10:00:09 PM popo38 wrote: who cares if shes a whore or not that was f*&#ing funy. even when the audience was dancing. lamo[/quote]
Lamo is right. B-|
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Female 172
I love those episodes!
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Female 335
*lmao
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Female 335
who cares if shes a whore or not that was f*&#ing funy. even when the audience was dancing. lamo
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Female 2
To CaptJosh: The Way You Move - Outkast
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Female 21
lol that is funny! he is really good at dancing!;-)
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Male 4
Ok, this may seem totally non-sequitur, but for the life of me, I can`t remember the name of the song in that clip. The only thing I am remotely sure of about it is that it`s by Outkast.
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Male 423
ahhahahaahhaha
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Female 604
That`s awfully funny.
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Male 526
how is that funny? at all?
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Female 179
well yeah i guess its good for him he`s not.... but why the dancing?


some people are just weird

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Male 109
You just have to know andrew his actions didn`t suprise me one bit. I remember watching a copy of the show and saying to my sister "Yep that looks like someting Drew would do." Hell we live in a small town and havning some1 in out town on tv like that was a big thing. Some of out teachers let us watch the show during class b/c every1 knew about it
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Male 1,420
deblain, she probly isnt really a whore. but it still is worng to have sex with 2 people, at the same time. you should only have sex while in a relationship, and only with that person. she seems to be cheating on one of the 2, or doesnt love either. if so she actually is a slut.
"andrew", on the other hand, should be disappointed that hes not the fater. that means "his woman" has been sleeping with other people. if he had sex with her, he should of really loved her, but it doesnt seem so in this case. but if they are not in a relationship, again he is really not much better than if the girl was a slut.
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Male 55
Haha loved the music
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Male 78
holy hell this clip started some discussion...
From now on Muary should be played before every meeting of congress, city meeting, ecetera..
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Male 645
haha what a jerk
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Male 73
comon laugh its funny the ediot is them agreeing to put them selves on TV and let every one know what is going on in there lives...
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Female 8
I just thought that it was funny. HAha
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Female 35
That was really funny...I thought he`d cry or somethin...but he hecking DANCED!
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Male 109
both not bother
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Male 109
It`s pissing me off that that you guys calling her a whore. Look at the screen it said she doen`t know which of the TWO guys is the father and bother Andrew and Robert(the other guy) are great guys. Yeah, he over did it when he heard the news but who woulnd`t be releaved when they heard that news.
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Female 161
I feel bad for the kid because his mama is a hoe, and she doesn`t know who the father is but that poo is funny!
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Female 354
lovely
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Male 1,132
tiredofnicks:
men that sleep with a ton of women are also whores they are just man whores instead.
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Female 184
uh
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Female 420
What a retard. His chances of getting laid again are real low after acting like such a fool. It`s the guys that just calmly sit there and take the news that have real class.
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Male 1,882
Oh, and I thought it was funny. Don`t say "that poor girl". She failed choosing the right father. How can you do that? When you cheat. Oops, failure. Also, you never know what is behind a relationship, maybe the guy has been through hell or trying to keep his girl from cheating? People usually side with the girl because "all men are pigs" (another generalization of sexes).

Don`t put too much thought into it, though. It`s Maury. Half or more is probably staged/scripted anyways. He wants shock value, not quality.

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Male 1,882
"Homer Jay, how is it that girls that sleep with many men are whores, while men that sleep with many women are cool?"

Because usually women are more hellbent on keeping their "image" and guys aren`t. The only guys that look up to pimps and/or players are ***holes anyways. As I often say, I want quality when I look for girls, not quantity.

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Male 341
Man, even Big bird is more mature then this jerkwad.
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Male 158
did u see that child bitch and yell??? i would be as exited to here that thats not my child that a have to live with.
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Male 4
Dablaine is telling the truth. Andrew graduated from a high school near Russellville, Arkansas in 2004. Sabrina has a brother that graduated with him. I have a yearbook with Andrew`s picture in it, but honestly, I don`t care if you believe me or not.
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Male 74
I think some of it is fake.
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Male 914
Ya i think some of the Maury Show is staged
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Male 1,586
michcity - that cracked me up! Nice.
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Male 74
How do you know we weren`t told to embellish our reactions?
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Female 1,004
why is everyone getting so emotional over this? it`s maury! there have been stranger people on it before, and he was probably told to embellish his reaction.
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Male 608
Didn`t mean anything against the good Ole U.S.A. by my comment. Don`t be so defensive dude. Its probably the greatest country in the world but that doesn`t mean that people/you should be/live in denial. ~& TV for the most part is an idiot Box, a boob tube, a highly addictive, manipulative, hypnotic tool. (unless you watch Discovery, NGC, PBS Channels & the like).... ;-)
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Male 74
Mr.knowItAll is a closet-Nazi.
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Male 74
Maury used to host an almost respectable daytime talk show that touched on wide array of topics, one topic at a time per show. Now, in order to get ratings (I`m assuming) the show specializes in these "Baby Momma Drama Shows" or BMDs. Maury is basicly a ratings whore.
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Male 1,420
(that was to mr. know it all)
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Male 1,420
that is like the u.s. saying all french ppl are gay, or canadians all say "aboot" and all asian girls are "loose" or "easy" or things lke that. its racism, and i dont go around thinking things about people just because i know some people from there act a certain way its just not right. and tv is not an "idiot box" only some shows on american tv are bad like that.
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Male 1,586
These shows only exploit people who are so selfish and narcissistic that they believe they deserve their 15 minutes of fame. They know what they`re getting into, and they gladly go into it. I don`t feel sorry for them at all. This is on daytime TV, which is mostly watched by bored housewives and people collecting unemployment. Hardly the lot that will make this world a better place.
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Male 608
"I don`t like Maury - it basically makes entertainment out of problems people had because of stupid mistakes. Stupid show."-Finally probably one of the best points on this thread. Mostly Americans (Where these bad shows come from & spread there influence to other places on Earth) sit around watching this idiot box TV all day long & give ratings to these horrible shows which just exploit the problems of poor people/the less fortunate. If only they could turn off there TVs & try to do something creative instead/try to make The World a better place for all...
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Female 249
I love it when they have the same girl on for the third time and test 8 guys, and it is still not the daddy.
Probably because it`s her brother.
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Male 36
sorry, call me a nerd, but i`ve never heard of "maury". who is this anyway? like jerry springer`s stand-in?
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Male 577
nice little dance he does there
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Female 144
Yeah i don`t even bother watcheing TV bc of stuff like that.
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Male 1,586
Hey, dablaine - if you know "the girl on the show" so well, you should totally bang her. It appears she`s easy. As long as you`re a "nice" guy, that is. You know - nice enough to do a dance on national TV when it`s announced that you`re not the one who knocked her up.
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Female 157
I don`t like maury - it basically makes entertainment out of problems people had because of stupid mistakes (sleeping around and stuff.) Stupid show.
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Female 571
poor baby....that video might have been a bit funnier if they didnt show the woman crying...but it is at least half her fault...
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Male 74
I think the guy was dancing because he`s glad he wasn`t tied down to such a situation. I don`t think I would want to have that woman become a fixture in my life. I agree, the guy was stupid for not putting a sock on his rooster, but people make mistakes.
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Male 1,420
lol that would be fun... but deblaine, even if "andrew" is respectable and nice, he shouldnt act ike that. in fact, if he really loved that woman and didnt just wanna get in her pants then hed be happy if he was the father.
and p4nd4z, is your name by any chance amanda?
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Female 302
ghetto monkeys? talk about rude.

i used to watch maury on daytime television during the summer. My favorite kind of shows was when you had to guess if it was a real girl or a transexual. *sigh* good times.

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Female 139
I thought that was hilarious!!
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Male 318
gotta love ghetto monkeys.
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Male 1,586
Okay, good. Because I still don`t believe you. Not even a little bit.
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Female 16
Yeah, I think a lot of these shows are planned. There has to be plenty of people on there who are there for their 10 minutes of fame. The girl should learn to keep a box of condoms with her, so if the man forgets them, she`ll have some, and there won`t be any deals like this. The guy shouldn`t be such an ass about the ordeal. I miss the old Maury days when there wasn`t paternity tests 3-4 days a week. It`s really getting old.
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Male 1,586
I don`t believe you.
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Male 109
First of all the girl on the show IS NOT a whore I know her very well i use to work with her for a long time. It only said that she slept with TWO guys and, didn`t know which one it was. So get you facts straight before you talk poo about one of my friends. Andrew is a nice guy too i work with him currently.
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Female 101
Now, I do not like how that girl made a decision to sleep around with so many guys, but i did not like the way the guy acted! dancing around being happy? I bet in his mind right now that because he`s not the father he can just go around making himself a whore just like her. I just can`t take watching guys being happy that they`re not the father of a child!!
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Male 774
You people are funny, dare i say sometimes to funny for your own good.
"but andrew... we got some bad news. You`ve got syphillis." well thats what you get for nobbing the village bike" -Manicstoive
lol, imagine finding out if he was the father.>imagines woman doing the dance<" Mikeyc
sad that poor baby doesn`t know whos it`s daddy...plus he acted out that way cause he knew he was on tv it would if been funny if he would of said "naw man i was joking you da daddy" lol now thats comedy-sweetpeachy1
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Female 269
Wow. Both the guy AND the girl are awful.
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Male 74
Why don`t you adopt the kid?
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Female 43
Half the time they are sluts, but that`s just plain awful how they act... on both sides. What about the poor kid? Probably going to end up with the grandparents or in a foster home. I think it`s really sad and frustrating.
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Male 74
I kicked Maury in the nuts and set his nipples on fire.
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Female 173
"The guy cannot decide to sleep with a woman unless she says so. End of story - no further discussion needed."

Completely NOT true. It`s a joint effort, first of all. Second, what about rape?

Both the man and the woman are whores. You shouldn`t be sleeping with that many people without protection in the first place. It`s kinda sad when you don`t even know how the father is.

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Female 63
Poor baby-But typical of the man.
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Female 2,035
This clip made me realize how long it has been since I watched the Maury Show.
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Female 175
I feel bad for that poor kid...
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Male 1,586
My favorite thing about these shows on Maury:
"I`m 100 percent, no - 200 percent positive that he`s the father"
"Yeah, well I`m 500 percent positive that I`m NOT the father"
Okay - I guess if you`re ignorant a bigger number means that you`re more certain. If you don`t know how percentages work, that is.
People this stupid need to get abortions instead of paternity tests.
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Male 374
That was SO fake, I mean one of them was white and one was black, it would`ve been OBVIOUS who the father was
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Male 74
Maury sucks. This was funny though. I don`t feel bad for any of them. Think about this: when you`re drunk, and with someone you really like, sometimes rubbers get forgotten. Lucky my girl keeps my ass in line B-|
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Male 1,030
As for this "the guy is cool" and "the woman is a whore". Let`s get real, who holds the keys to two people having sex? THE GIRL!!! The guy cannot decide to sleep with a woman unless she says so. End of story - no further discussion needed.
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Male 14
daytime television. you gotta love it
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Female 289
Correct: She should stop sleeping aroundAND USE protection
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Female 289
To the people who are saying she`s a whore, yes she is. If she doesn`t know who the father is, she should stop sleeping around with protection. I`ve never had to sleep with more then one person to ever validate myself. As well, he`s a slut/whore whatever as well, don`t sleep with girls who you can`t trust and always wrap up. He might`ve got out of this one, but there will just be another one. Never have sex to validate yourself, it just makes you into a whore
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Female 785
LOL I like the when the music kicked in...
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Female 241
Hey, I think I saw that episode. What? I watch it when I`m sick and nothing else is on, don`t judge me. :P Oh, and I like Mr.noItAll`s idea...

"knock `em out the box, Luke, knock `em out..."

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Male 148
haha thats a good one! Looks planned though
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Male 904
"but andrew... we got some bad news. You`ve got syphillis." well thats what you get for nobbing the village bike
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Male 34
lol, imagine finding out if he was the father.>imagines woman doing the dance<
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Female 552
sad that poor baby doesn`t know whos it`s daddy...plus he acted out that way cause he knew he was on tv it would if been funny if he would of said "naw man i was joking you da daddy" lol now thats comedy
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Female 127
I think its sad. What is the world coming to?
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Female 32
This is to the people who called the girls whores for taking those men on Maury. If the girl is straight forward and tells him look there is a chance you could be the father then he shouldn`t act like that. But if she is on some " I know 2000% that he is the father!" when she knows she slept with everyone and their cousin`s uncle then she is stupid and gonna embarass herself. Just because a woman has sex with a lot of men doesn`t make her a whore, just a little stupid.
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Male 110
`men that sleep with many women are cool?`

who said that? Not Homer Jay.

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Male 5,094
I DEARLY hope he never will be either.

Homer Jay, how is it that girls that sleep with many men are whores, while men that sleep with many women are cool?

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Male 1,425
hahahahahahaha(etc.)
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Male 75
thats so fu*cking funny
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Male 1,132
it`s so funny when they are not the father. stupid whores sleep with to many people. they deserve to be sterilized and shot
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Male 25
"...I bet he`ll be smarter in the future."

Yeah right.

That would show some level of intelligence. Appearing on this show contradicts that.

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Male 1,030
I`ve seen Maury episodes where the whore is testing the 13th guy and he`s STILL not the father. More than 13 guys in the 1-2 week time when a woman can get pregnant? That`s 2 GUYS A DAY!
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Male 1,465
"That poor child"? I hope you`re talking about the fact that he has a whore for a mother and not bad mouthing that guy. She was trying to pin parental responsibility on him even though she knew that there was a good chance that the kid belonged to whoever else she was banging. Granted, if he was using protection he`d have nothing to worry about but after dodging that one I bet he`ll be smarter in the future.
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Male 608
Next hes gotta have Darth Vader & the Luke gangstas on... "I`m ya` Fatha`-I`m ya` Fatha`!" Maury`s just become a corporate media whore like all the rest. Probably why i don`t watch TV anymore...
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Female 1,395
That poor child, that is sick.
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Female 500
Wow he really dodged a bullet there!
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Female 2,144
I Like Maury, But That Wasn`t Funny.
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Male 28
Smooth!!!!
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Male 399
This was just boring!
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Male 650
Yea, Maury used to be decent until they started doing this shows. Now this is all they do.. It gets so boring fast.
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Male 292
Man Maury is so whack, they do nothing but these kinds of shows. Wheres the substance! Mild mannered Jerry Springer
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Male 250
is he dancing cuz he isnt that dad?
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Male 774
Link: You are NOT the father. [Rate Link] - A little clip from Maury, check the dude`s reaction.

:-)

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