I am a Japanese School Teacher

Submitted by: Effigy 12 years ago in Funny
http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher.html

Funny stories from an American teaching in japanese schools.
There are 67 comments:
Male 314
^^ Still at it!
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Male 314
He`s still rolling these out. Good ones as well.
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Female 1,468
Oh man that`s good stuff. I have a friend teaching in Japan and he has told me about getting assaulted in the butt by young boys. I always thought he was exaggerating, but I guess not!
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Male 189
Yeah, I`ve known about this site since like.. the post about moeko`s owl or around that
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Male 20
Dude, that was soooo funyy! I couldn`t stop laughing when he talked about the part with spreading your buttcrack and making the hhuuuooogghhh noise!
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Female 132
I haven`t laughed so hard in a long time. :-D Hilarious would be an understatement.
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Female 209
haha soo funny
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Female 227
we DON`T need you to post the stuff he wrote..we can read it for ourselves..don`t be a lameass and post if YOU haf nothing to say..-_______-"
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Male 213
A teacher who used to be at the ghetto school, she was another nice lady who had most of the little bastard ichinensei boys in her English class. In December, a bad flu rolled around and a lot of students were out sick. Even teachers were catching it...myself included. Bah.

So I was talking with this teacher about the flu, and she said "But you know what? Those little monsters, they never get sick! It would be so nice if they got sick and missed school. When I`m sick, I try to cough on them, but they still don`t get sick! Maybe being a little monster protects you from the flu."

You know though, she does have a point. If only I`d known during my school days...maybe my grades would have suffered, but I would have been incredibly healthy.

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Male 213
i now want to go to Japan
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Male 213
Okay, what the hell. The little perv can roll up and say "3 condoms" perfectly and then he hits with me "4 BONANA". Not "banana", which by the way, in Japanese, is amazingly enough "banana". No no, "bonana".

He didn`t even get the "s" at the end, which was the whole point of the activity.

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Male 213
One day I was playing Hamburger Shop with the ichinensei. I was the clerk, and the students were supposed to come up to me and ask for stuff like "3 burgers and 4 colas, please". The point of the activity was to get them using the plural forms of nouns by adding the "s" on the end.

One boy comes up to me, and decides to be funny. Or at least, tries to be. He cooly walks into my shop and says "3 condoms, please."

I tell him it`s NOT that kind of hamburger shop.

He gets a laugh out of all his friends, and confused looks from most of the other students who had no idea what he said. The Japanese teacher knew perfectly though, and told him to shape up and do the activity right. The boy then decides to be serious and proceeds with "4 bonana, please".


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Male 226
The funniest and most engaging thing on the internet in my opinion. The writing is both honest and compelling.
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Female 28
omg theres this japanese girl at my school and shes like all shy but she kancho`s everyone we were kinda surprised lmao:-O
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Female 150
I`ve bookmarked it and been keeping up wih all the updates. I love it! Absolutely hilarious!
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Female 227
Friday, May 27, 2005 11:41:58 AM
I think Gaijin literally means "hated stranger"... Got that from James Clavell`s Shogun epos.

i thought gaijin just meant stranger..but then again, i just assumed that bc it sounds like the chinese word for stranger.

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Male 57
lol this is some grade A stuff right here. (bookmark)
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Male 66
Imma use my super Ganjin Smash!
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Female 464
[quote]On 5/26/2005 4:51:49 PM hoogli wrote: suddenly, i feel so un-perverted, compared to these people.[/quote]

Oh, me too. Hahah.

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Male 774
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ITS UPDATED BUT BANDWITH EXCEEDED
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Male 190
lol, thats sooo kewl. bit freaky tho :S i thort I was an annoying student
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Female 73
this guy`s story`s so funny, everytime i ever show this 2 a friend they always bookmark it so they can check back for updates later
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Female 354
japanese kids are weird
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Male 2
I lived in japan for two years and what he descibed is exactly that. now im not black so they wernt as facinated with my dick but they still were. also if you ever meet a japanese person that wants to play kancho keep your hands protecting both the front and back.
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Female 395
Thats stupid that she freaked. I used to do that to every house I came to on haloween. no body ever got pissed at me. ;| oh well.
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Female 106
still am. Just so you know.
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Female 106
I was a innocent Japanese teenager.
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Female 106
I just have to say that this editorial was very funny and well written, but also have to say that the way he took the humour of the Japanese kids was so American that the way her wrote it may have made a negative perspective for the readers.
I lived in Japan a long time,and I know about kancho and how the kids like to touch other people.The reason why they don`t see it as that as a wierd guesture is because most of the kids don`t see it as a wierd thing.They wouldn`t even think they are giving out discomfort."Too innocent" to think of the fault of it.Kids in most other countries acknowlege the fact of adult acts by a very young age, where Japanese kids are just kids.I remember when I came to America at 14 and sang a song that said "trick or treat, give me treats, give me something good to eat, if you don`t I don`t care I`ll pull down your underwear."And this radical christian chick freaked.Thats because she was a little perv that had a overacted mind. I was a in
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Male 133
Thats great but where would they learn that. They dont say that on MTV or on cable.

Do they get free american porn?

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Male 112
I scare myself sometimes
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Male 112
This may well be the funniest thing i`ve ever read on IMB, fasinating insight into Japanese culture at the same time. Started reading them a few days ago, just got done and now i feel withdrawl symptoms, guess i`ll have to keep checking back. I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MOUSEY, THE VELMA SISTERS, THE TEACHER WITH THE BIG HEADED BOYFRIEND AND ALL THE REST, KANCHO ASSASINS AND ALL.
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Female 269
This guy is a genius.
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Male 1
This guy is the dogs doodahs. Lovin it
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Male 2,519
one might say this is the best I`ve read apart from Maddox
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Female 278
[quote]On 5/26/2005 3:49:07 PM Figgy wrote: Still don`t get why they love going for his privates though.[/quote]
A lot of people believe that black people happen to be very well `endowed` and the kids want to see if that`s true or not.
I`ve already finished these, but lucky for us, he`s still going! It will be the best neverending story ever.
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Female 1,603
wow. is this for real? crazy...
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Female 200
Aww. I liked Moeko`s Owl.
Wish he wrote more stories.
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Male 170
Thanks for the information pentraeth, I had a feeling that it was used in a negative context in the book.
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Female 325
This is great reading material right here. Fantabulous!
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Male 5,094
I think Gaijin literally means "hated stranger"... Got that from James Clavell`s Shogun epos. ;-)
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Male 46
the stories were really intresting
i enjoyed every one of them especially dodgedick hehe
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Male 40
Thats pretty funny
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Female 1,403
i can`t believe i just sat and read all of those....
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Female 2
I lived in Japan for about five months last year on an exchange, and my lord, does this man relate the truth well. Japan is so ridiculously romanticized for us, and it doesn`t surprise me that people are actually amazed at the fact that Japanese children are like this.

I spent most of my time with the high school students (ichinensei-sannensei high school), but I often went with my homeroom teacher (Shiho-sensei, who reminds me EXACTLY of the Americanized teacher) to teach the middle schoolers. The kids in my school did things this man didn`t even mention.

The Japanese are much more different from us than we realize, or tend to want to believe.

To Jimbo, Gaijin is actually a derogatory term for foreigners. No respectable Japanese adult will EVER call a foreigner a Gaijin (although any manner of young student will). It`s actually a nickname from the Gaijin themselves. That`s the only way it`s respectable (but still frowned upon). The not-so-literal translation is "outsider&qu

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Male 170
:D Comedy genius. Gaijin smash!!! Really funny. Quick question, I have a feeling Gaijin is the Japanese nickname for foreigners. Am I correct? Memory is a bit sketchy, I think I picked it up from a Tom Clancy novel.
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Male 526
haha japanese are perverts :P
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Male 39
Uber-Funny, No?
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Male 951
Yeah I already knew about this...one of the few sites I`ve bookmarked. Really excellent.
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Female 204
I love it!
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Male 5,094
Haven`t laughed this much in a long time! This gets a four and Tiredofnicks` Best of the Month award.

Gaijin Smash!

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Male 88
Oh man, as I read all the stories I couldn`t stop laughing.
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Male 99
For some unexplained reason, as he came, he decided to point out all the students in the class who`d had sex. "Yeah...she`s had sex, her too, him, her, and oh yeah, those two had sex with each other." He pointed to a boy in the first row and a girl in the second. They both looked up at him as he said this, and in response he said simply "Yeah, you guys had sex together." The girl, embarrased, giggled, while the boy gave me a "Yeah, I hit that." sheepish smile. This particular boy is really good, and a great English student, if not a bit on the geeky side, so I was kind of happy. Ok, I know, I know! Fifteen-year olds having sex is just wrong and I don`t condone it, not in the least. But I still kind of wanted to give him a high-five.


Hahahaha!!!!

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Male 338
Wow I knew that they were weird, but not this much.
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Male 338
"bigu dikku" LMAO those japs...
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Male 129
one word:radiation.
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Male 292
haha the "Special* Moeko`s Owl" I feel was quite touching. Read it peeps!
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Male 58
suddenly, i feel so un-perverted, compared to these people.
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Male 314
This is amazing, i have read around 20 pages and not bored yet. Breasts!!!!! Still don`t get why they love going for his privates though.
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Female 200
Lmao, unbelievable. This guy is damn funny.
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Male 1,523
I`ve got a Japanese girl in my class so I`ll ask her about Kancho...
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Male 190
not the best but good!

lol, sticking fingers up butts.

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Male 95
This is funny ... im on like th 9th one lol
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Female 604
Oh my god - Japanese kids are fricken weirdos.
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Female 175
I`ve been into reading this lately, it`s great! :)
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Female 785
*reads 1st story and dies* Okay I`m bookmarking this...
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Female 278
I`ve been reading these lately too! This man is so funny - especially his editorials on `The Worst Porn Ever`. He should DEFINITELY write a book.
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Female 210
Link: I am a Japanese School Teacher [Rate Link] - Funny stories from an American teaching in japanese schools.

I have no idea japanese schools were like this.

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