Rockin' in the free world since 2005.

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Category: Funny
Date: 12/05/04 11:07 AM

38 Responses to Dear Santa Letter Generator

  1. Profile photo of buddy
    buddy Male 30-39
    10116 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 11:06 am
    Link: Dear Santa Letter Generator - Hey kids! Too lazy to write out your Dear Santa letter by hand?

    :-)

  2. Profile photo of luckylucia7
    luckylucia7 Female 18-29
    49 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 1:46 pm
    Dear Santa Claus,

    This year, I have been a very good little girl. I have sometimes pillaged, and I have rarely helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my big sister, please bring Newport Lights 100’s. For my hampster, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my pool boy, please bring some worthless tchotchkes.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter videos, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get autographs!
    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember George Bush? He has been a really corrupt weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola i

  3. Profile photo of dramastace
    dramastace Female 13-17
    346 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 1:49 pm
    This year, I have been a very passive aggressive little girl. I have not murdered, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring perfume. For my daddy, please bring a new neck tie. For my little brother, please bring fingernail polish.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Star Wars videos, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember my brother? He has been a really corrupt vivisection hobbyist all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget

  4. Profile photo of eRiCaBot
    eRiCaBot Female 18-29
    1004 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 1:59 pm
    This year, I have been a very passive aggressive little TV watcher. I have not pillaged, and I have rarely helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me polite, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my ferret, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some fruit cake.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith beer coozies, and front row tickets to Aaron Carter – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100!

    Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.

    Yours,
    Erica

    PS: Please say hi to the baby Jesus.

  5. Profile photo of rodney0321
    rodney0321 Male 13-17
    154 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 2:43 pm
    funny poo
  6. Profile photo of Nneri
    Nneri Female 13-17
    992 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 3:52 pm
    Wow, talk about awesome!!!!!!
  7. Profile photo of someone?
    someone? Male 13-17
    1371 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 3:52 pm
    Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,

    This year, I have been a very Ritalin-addled little advertising tampon. I have compulsively murdered, and I have never helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring daddy’s testicles in a vise. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my little brother, please bring a diaphragm. For my hampster, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my cleaning lady, please bring some fruit cake.

    More in next post, it`s breaking the limit

  8. Profile photo of someone?
    someone? Male 13-17
    1371 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 3:52 pm
    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith beer coozies, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne Chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

    Anyway, I hope you like the meatloaf I left out for you.

    Breathlessly,

    Mrs. Claus

    PS: Please say hi to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember my dog? He has been a really homicidal dork all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!

    X friggin D

  9. Profile photo of xnoonereally
    xnoonereally Female 13-17
    86 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 5:25 pm
    Dear Pagan Troll,

    This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have compulsively murdered, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring earrings. For my daddy, please bring a new dead-end job. For my little brother, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my doggy, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my baby sitter, please bring some work ethic.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith beer coozies, and front row tickets to Britney Spears – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

    Anyway,

  10. Profile photo of xnoonereally
    xnoonereally Female 13-17
    86 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 5:26 pm
    Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

    Breathlessly,

    Yo Momma

    PS: Please say hi to the baby Jesus.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Jessica Cabosjgoaejgoadsj? She has been a really perverted coprophile all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!

  11. Profile photo of talleysgrrl
    talleysgrrl Female 30-39
    359 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 6:56 pm
    Hahaha...that`s good.
  12. Profile photo of Malletman
    Malletman Male 18-29
    679 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 7:25 pm
    Dear Obese Trespassing Altruist,

    This year, I have been a very good little boy. I have sometimes embezzeled, and I have always helped my grandma with their taxes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring Valium. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my little brother, please bring Newport Lights 100’s. For my doggy, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some fruit cake.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith videos, and front row tickets to Aaron Carter – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

  13. Profile photo of Malletman
    Malletman Male 18-29
    679 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 7:25 pm
    Anyway, I hope you like the meatloaf I left out for you.

    Sincerely,

    Malletman

    PS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Erica? She has been a really selfish cry-baby all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!

  14. Profile photo of Alien Stick
    Alien Stick Male 18-29
    242 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 8:02 pm
    Dear Obese Trespassing Altruist,
    This year, I have been a very manipulative little TV watcher. I have compulsively embezzeled, and I have never helped my grandpa with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my little brother, please bring Barbie. For my hampster, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some work ethic.
  15. Profile photo of Alien Stick
    Alien Stick Male 18-29
    242 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 8:03 pm
    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith videos, and front row tickets to Britney Spears – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!
    Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.
    Breathlessly,
    Zack
    PS: Please say hi to the baby Jesus.
    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Jerrin? He has been a really corrupt weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!
  16. Profile photo of eRiCaBot
    eRiCaBot Female 18-29
    1004 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 8:24 pm
    too much fun.
  17. Profile photo of HOBYandy
    HOBYandy Male 18-29
    3060 posts
    December 5, 2004 at 8:59 pm
    oh...so much holiday sheer in such a short letter. :-)
  18. Profile photo of someUKguy
    someUKguy Male 18-29
    112 posts
    December 6, 2004 at 7:37 am
    man, thats funny
  19. Profile photo of Xaielyrith
    Xaielyrith Male 18-29
    86 posts
    December 6, 2004 at 8:48 am
    Dear Santa Claus-Devourer of Children`s Souls,

    This year, I have been a very manipulative little advertising tampon. I have compulsively pillaged, and I have never helped my grandpa with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year.

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my little sister, please bring a diaphragm. For my doggy, please bring a homeopathic heartworm remedy. Oh – and for my case worker, please bring some work ethic.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the SpongeBob SquarePants toilet paper, and front row tickets to GWAR – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pony. But if you can`t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $1,

  20. Profile photo of Xaielyrith
    Xaielyrith Male 18-29
    86 posts
    December 6, 2004 at 8:51 am
    Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

    Breathlessly, James

    PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Sarah? She has been a really naughty coprophile all year long and doesn`t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in their stocking. Thanks!

  21. Profile photo of FlaminGamma
    FlaminGamma Female 18-29
    122 posts
    December 6, 2004 at 10:44 am
    I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  22. Profile photo of loomer
    loomer Male 13-17
    76 posts
    December 6, 2004 at 2:59 pm
    great fun
    what a link
    keep up the good work i-a-b
  23. Profile photo of i_am_24601
    i_am_24601 Female 13-17
    232 posts
    December 6, 2004 at 7:05 pm
    yup, my letter was very special.
  24. Profile photo of big_fridge
    big_fridge Female 13-17
    139 posts
    December 7, 2004 at 10:03 am
    Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $1,000,000!

    Come on Santa! Please? Just this once?

  25. Profile photo of Koenvb
    Koenvb Male 13-17
    237 posts
    December 7, 2004 at 2:36 pm
    Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,

    This year, I have been a very bad little advertising tampon. I have compulsively murdered, and I have never helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring daddy’s testicles in a vise. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my big brother, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my doggy, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my cleaning lady, please bring some work ethic.
    Now about me!

  26. Profile photo of Koenvb
    Koenvb Male 13-17
    237 posts
    December 7, 2004 at 2:37 pm
    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants toilet paper, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get airborne Chlamydia! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

    Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

    Breathlessly,

    me.

    PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember me? I have been a really homicidal weener all year long and don’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!

  27. Profile photo of Cindy75
    Cindy75 Female 30-39
    790 posts
    December 8, 2004 at 6:29 pm
    Heehee, Im not gonna post it, but this was alot of fun!
  28. Profile photo of Allica
    Allica Female 40-49
    118 posts
    December 9, 2004 at 10:35 am
    Dear Santa Claus,

    This year, I have been a very bad little advertising tampon. I have compulsively murdered, and I have rarely helped my mommy with their chores. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring daddy’s testicles in a vise. For my daddy, please bring a new neck tie. For my big brother, please bring a diaphragm. For my ferret, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my mail man, please bring some fruit cake.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants videos, and front row tickets to Aaron Carter – plus backstage passes so I can get behind the scenes! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my pool. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

    Anyway, I hope you like the meatloaf I left out for you.

    Breathle

  29. Profile photo of Allica
    Allica Female 40-49
    118 posts
    December 9, 2004 at 10:36 am
    Breathlessly,

    Allica

    PS: Please say hi to the baby Jesus.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Michael Jackson? He has been a really perverted weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog sh*t in their stocking. Thanks!

  30. Profile photo of stephab13
    stephab13 Female 13-17
    179 posts
    December 15, 2004 at 11:47 pm
    I am a materialistic advertising tampon. Santa, you are an obese trespassing altruist...What is an altruist, anyway?
  31. Profile photo of jaida1964
    jaida1964 Female 18-29
    238 posts
    December 27, 2004 at 10:39 am
    Dear Santa Claus,

    This year, I have been a very good little girl. I have not murdered, and I have always helped my mommy with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of presents this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my big sister, please bring methodone. For my doggy, please bring breath mints. Oh – and for my baby sitter, please bring some fruit cake.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter action figures, and front row tickets to Eminem – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my jet-ski. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $1,000,000!

    Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.

    Love,

    Jennifer

  32. Profile photo of jaida1964
    jaida1964 Female 18-29
    238 posts
    December 27, 2004 at 10:40 am
    PS: Please say hi to Rudolph.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Greg? He has been a really perverted dork all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog poo in their stocking. Thanks!

  33. Profile photo of Hedonophobic
    Hedonophobic Female 13-17
    29 posts
    February 27, 2005 at 12:14 pm
    Dear Satan Claus – Devourer of Children’s Souls,
    This year, I have been a very Ritalin-addled little advertising tampon. I have compulsively pillaged, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their pyramid schemes. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!
    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring the onset of menopause. For my daddy, please bring a new dead-end job. For my big sister, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my hampster, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my baby sitter, please bring some work ethic.
    ....
  34. Profile photo of Hedonophobic
    Hedonophobic Female 13-17
    29 posts
    February 27, 2005 at 12:15 pm
    ...Now about me! Please bring me all of the Spongebob Squarepants beer coozies, and front row tickets to GWAR – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,!
    Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.
    Love,
    bethjoyPS: Please say hello to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember the cat down the street? He has been a really homicidal weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put sticks in their stocking. Thanks

  35. Profile photo of Aby
    Aby Female 13-17
    60 posts
    February 27, 2005 at 1:40 pm
    Dear Santa Claus,

    This year, I have been a very manipulative little girl. I have compulsively lied, and I have always helped my mommy’s “special friend” with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me seem like I care, and so I deserve lots of age-inappropriate pants this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new topaz-studded ass plug. For my little sister, please bring a diaphragm. For my doggy, please bring a chew toy. Oh – and for my baby sitter, please bring some work ethic.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Anna Nicole Smith videos, and front row tickets to Mary-Kate and Ashley – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my Lamborghini Diablo VT 6.0. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $100,000,000!

  36. Profile photo of Aby
    Aby Female 13-17
    60 posts
    February 27, 2005 at 1:40 pm

    Anyway, I hope you like the cognac I left out for you.

    Love,

    Aby

    PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Mr. Eggs? She has been a really perverted coprophile all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put sticks in their stocking. Thanks!

  37. Profile photo of muggyloc
    muggyloc Female 40-49
    755 posts
    March 9, 2005 at 5:29 am
    Pagan Elf lmfao lmfao!
  38. Profile photo of thechacken
    thechacken Male 13-17
    246 posts
    August 1, 2006 at 5:13 am
    _!_!_!_!READ MINE_!_!_!_!

    Breathlessly,

    little timmy

    PS: Please say hello to Rudolph.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember George Bush? He has been a really homicidal cry-baby all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put ebola in his stocking. Thanks!

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