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Date: 12/24/04 04:41 PM

19 Responses to Crazy Horoscopes

  1. Profile photo of buddy
    buddy Male 30-39
    10116 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 4:40 pm
    Link: Crazy Horoscopes - The alternative astrology site. Check your horoscope.

    :-)

  2. Profile photo of SarahColleen
    SarahColleen Female 18-29
    1071 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 5:02 pm
    What the drat?
  3. Profile photo of SarahColleen
    SarahColleen Female 18-29
    1071 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 5:03 pm
    wow if you type f- uck it will say `drat`
  4. Profile photo of mixtape
    mixtape Female 18-29
    19 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 5:16 pm
    Taurus:

    Your pet dog is being neglected. Be nice to it by stroking it more often and buying it plenty of glue. The Cuban variety of glue is the best. Don’t sniff it and don’t use it to help you cheat at bowling. Speaking of dogs, your best friend may still be angry at the time you fed her dog with laxatives. Why not phone her up and tell her you will buy her a new carpet and apologise for the old one being ruined. Doing nice things is your key to success this week. Why not go up to a homeless person, give them your left shoe and say, “Don’t electrocute yourself in the eye with that”. I’m sure they will be so impressed they will dance like a ballerina and urinate in their pants.

  5. Profile photo of Skroome
    Skroome Male 18-29
    124 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 6:50 pm
    O_o.
  6. Profile photo of SweepOfDeath
    SweepOfDeath Male 18-29
    938 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 7:24 pm
    Leo:

    You are not going to get that job as a lifeguard so its best if you didn’t pursue it any further. Instead, why not apply for that position as a gypsy beater, as they are scared of people with glowing blue hair. Avoid using doors this week. Instead try passing through solid walls by osmosis. This is a lot cleaner and prevents premature hair loss and chest diseases. Buy a mule and call him “Plastic Jim” and feed him with radiocarbons. Teach him to play the harmonica and he will reward you with menthol flavoured spoons. Use them to knock out meteors and avoid angry badger attacks with. Get a tattoo of a bunch of tapeworms on your rear-end to ward off pygmy snipers.

  7. Profile photo of SweepOfDeath
    SweepOfDeath Male 18-29
    938 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 7:25 pm
    well sounds like i got an adventure like that one movie but ill get the name later
  8. Profile photo of SweepOfDeath
    SweepOfDeath Male 18-29
    938 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 8:21 pm
    plus with a mule named “Plastic Jim” ill problay have a sidekick
  9. Profile photo of talleysgrrl
    talleysgrrl Female 30-39
    359 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 9:09 pm
    Scorpio female and Cancer male

    A good combination as both sides are emotional and will get attached to each other very quickly. The Scorpio female is possessive and has a very dangerous sting, should she suspect the Cancer male of smiling at another woman or drooling over the free-view on the Playboy channel. Lets hope he has a better excuse then "Darling I was only looking at it for reference, and my wiener happened to have itched at that exact moment, HONEST!", because the Scorpio female can become very vindictive and will drive 9 inch nails through his eyes and then see how fast he can run when she chases him down the street with a 12-gauge shotgun.

    Horn Meter Reading: 5/5 hearts
    Rating: Speed Horn!

    Verdict: Prepare yourself for one hell of a ride! `This Romeo and Juliet` relationship should theoretically, bloom like fungus in horse manure! Most people will envy and hate this couple because they get on so well. ;-)






  10. Profile photo of eRiCaBot
    eRiCaBot Female 18-29
    1004 posts
    December 24, 2004 at 10:09 pm
    wow, it makes no sense...love it.
  11. Profile photo of bram
    bram Male 18-29
    577 posts
    December 25, 2004 at 6:40 am
    Yeah, I`m a pisces, but when I put all my info into the birth chart it said I was an aquarius. That`s strange and makes me not trust the sight at all.
  12. Profile photo of Sleepygean
    Sleepygean Female 18-29
    252 posts
    December 25, 2004 at 6:52 am
    insteresting!
  13. Profile photo of _andread_
    _andread_ Male 18-29
    491 posts
    December 25, 2004 at 9:19 am
    Funny, because everyone knows true horoscope is bulls.h.i.t
  14. Profile photo of Nneri
    Nneri Female 13-17
    992 posts
    December 26, 2004 at 12:01 am
    THis was great. I annoyed the heck outta all my friends.
  15. Profile photo of jafhsdf
    jafhsdf Female 13-17
    29 posts
    December 26, 2004 at 12:21 am
    i agree with andread... funny
  16. Profile photo of Lynn_19
    Lynn_19 Female 18-29
    200 posts
    December 26, 2004 at 5:56 am
    I love the pastel layout! Very beautiful..
    And they do know their astrology.
  17. Profile photo of HOBYandy
    HOBYandy Male 18-29
    3060 posts
    December 28, 2004 at 8:10 pm
    ummm....bram: would you trust this site even if it did get your astrological sign right? i mean...come on- it`s astrology it`s not supposed to be true. (and it`s fake astrology at that).
    or were you making a joke?
  18. Profile photo of HOBYandy
    HOBYandy Male 18-29
    3060 posts
    December 28, 2004 at 8:11 pm
    pisces:

    Treat yourself and get some dancing lessons! The best teachers are rats as they will teach you to salsa and tango in return for some lip-gloss and spare motorbike parts. Buy a fog machine and create the right environment for dancing in. It is true that fog attracts clowns but in some areas of Romania, they have been known to make excellent dance partners and some even work for the government tracking down escaped prisoners with their keen sense of smell. Beware though, as some clowns may be carrying rabies. The only cure for that is to visit your Uncle and have him bop you round the head 20 times with a rubber chicken while repeatedly saying, “Emus are lovely!”

  19. Profile photo of petle_13
    petle_13 Female 13-17
    201 posts
    January 8, 2006 at 7:56 pm
    Bram, love, that was your rising sign, moon sign, or something or rather. I know, I too am a Piscean. Go us! But, yeah. I wouldn`t worry about it. I love the humour on the site!

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