101 Ways To Pass The Time When You Have A Cold

Submitted by: dreammyme 13 years ago Funny
http://www.tomatonation.com/cold.shtml

That whole ""praying for death"" thing is implied.
There are 18 comments:
Female 178
I literally have tears coming out of my eyes. My dad is wondering why I`m giggling so much.......
0
Reply
Female 380
cool
0
Reply
Female 70
In the service of finding a silver lining in the situation, vow to perfect your loog-hocking technique once and for all.
0
Reply
Female 19
56. Find a plastic drinking straw in the back of your silverware drawer. Using the straw, a roll of packing tape, and thumbtacks, fashion a nostril-sized attachment for the vacuum cleaner. Plug in the Hoover and insert the rig into your right nostril. Prepare to turn on the Hoover. With your finger hovering over the power button, consider that, although you have had the occasional stroke of genius in your life, this might not qualify as one of them. Cringe as you picture your mom at your funeral, forced to explain between sobs that everything in your skull got sucked into the vacuum bag and the side of your head collapsed inwards like a broken volleyball. Remove the straw from your nostril, take the rig apart, and put the Hoover away.


I loved this one...*still laughing*

0
Reply
Female 91
yay, now i have something to do because i have a cold now
0
Reply
Male 1,031
33. Struggle not to give in to the Howard-Hughesian "germs…EVERYWHERE!" panic attack you can feel coming on.
0
Reply
Male 2,620
64. Go to bed.

65. Feel hot. Throw the sheets off.

66. Feel very very cold. Huddle under the sheets.

67. Wake up bathed in sweat. Throw the sheets off again. Go back to sleep.

68. Wake up with chattering teeth. Huddle under the sheets again. Go back to sleep.

69. Repeat 65-68 fifty-five times or until your alarm goes off.

So tru, so tru

0
Reply
Female 395
how come it says only one star i gave it a WOW rating *is confused* ::bitches at all the other ppl who say i`m so fuc*king stupid to...whatever:: meow...meow...meow....MOOOOOOOOOOOOO....meow...meow...meow...meow...uhh.. yea
0
Reply
Female 395
ah i`ve got tears coming out of my eyes from laughing so hard absoulutley wonderful kudos to whoever showed me this site...hey thats me...yay i get a kudos! when sick i have actually done some of what they said...repeatedly.
0
Reply
Male 183
the part about the Velamint rant was awesome
0
Reply
Female 382
36. Spend several minutes trying to replicate the amusing "huuhhh-OOOONNNK" noise you just generated somehow while blowing your nose.

37. "Faaahhhhhhhnk." No, not quite...

38. "Bbbbllllllssshhh." Dammit.

hehehehehehe!!!!!! :-D
I like! :-D

0
Reply
Female 382
5. Run out of Kleenex late at night. Use toilet paper instead until you start to worry about running out of toilet paper; switch to paper towels.

6. Run out of paper towels; switch to notebook paper.

7. Run out of notebook paper; switch to Post-It notes.

8. Run out of Post-Its; switch to sleeves.

9. Run out of shirts; switch to lampshades

0
Reply
Female 62
-lol- thats great!
0
Reply
Female 223
cute :-D
0
Reply
Female 808
haha...i love this
0
Reply
Female 7
this is great!
0
Reply
Female 482
"32. Think about how you did get the cold. Think about all the random, anonymous, possibly-germ-laden surfaces you have touched in the last few days. Think about how the virus probably sat quietly on a table at a coffee shop or on a door handle, waiting for its chance, and lodged its tiny self deep in one of your fingerprints, knowing that you would eventually rub your face and that from anywhere on your face it`s just a short whistling-Dixie stroll to your mucus membranes."

-----this one sounds like something i`d be thinking about

:-D

0
Reply
Female 164
Link: 101 Ways To Pass The Time When You Have A Cold [Rate Link] - That whole ``praying for death`` thing is implied.

25. Discover that, by inhaling rapidly through your nose, you can imitate the sound of an engine revving. Lean over the cats and rev your sinuses repeatedly until they wake up from their naps, get annoyed, and slink off.

0
Reply